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New Rule: Distinction Deniers
newtboyYes, rational people who DO insist on distinctions have rallied to Aziz, because he is not an abuser, but you would have us all ignore that and ruin him.
If there's a line, you make distinctions based of level of offence.
From what I've heard he's accused of, I've had far worse from girlfriends who didn't know what men liked. He was handsy in bed and bad at sex. Have you heard otherwise?
What I find unacceptable is her not telling him there's a problem, clearly when subtlety failed, but expecting him to act as if she had, and using #metoo to amplify his lackluster performance and make him guilty of sex crimes by association.
What's more unacceptable is the movement to deny gradients of evil so he IS guilty of sex crimes by their estimation for being inexperienced with sex.
I have yet to hear a single thing he did with bad intent or in any way criminal or even ungentlemanly, just inexperienced or plain bad in bed. He called/texted her respectfully thinking she had a great time, and seemed shocked she hadn't. Maybe there's stuff I don't know about this case? It sure sounds like a failure to communicate, which I place on her shoulders.
Who is Grace again? His accuser?
Of course, there's a line.
If some dude patted my behind, I probably wouldn't take it as sexual.
It's about context. I am not generally in a situation where there is a power dynamic working against me.
If a mate jokingly patted my behind, I probably wouldn't care.
If my boss patted my behind, I'd certainly tell him that's not ok.
But if I felt it WAS creepy and especially if I felt whoever it was a) might do it again and b) was frequently in a position to do so to vulnerable people... yeah, I'd report it.
I wouldn't try to have them convicted of rape because that's not what they did.
I still want to know whose life is being "ruined" over "nothing".
Weinstein? Spacey? It's certainly not nothing and their lives are far from ruined. They're still incredibly wealthy people living (admittedly a little less now) comfortable lives. Are their reputations sullied? Yep, and deservedly so. They've certainly gotten off easier than their victims.
Aziz? Ok, that's a bit more nuanced.
First, is his life "ruined"? Eh, not really. His reputation has taken a hit, but plenty of people have actually come out in support of him.
Second, was what he did "nothing, or at most an innocent misunderstanding not corrected"? Well, it wasn't Weinstein-level harassment and it certainly wasn't rape. We can all agree on that. But was it "nothing"? Would you be ok with someone treating you like that? Do you really think what he did was acceptable behaviour?
He shouldn't go to jail for it, definitely. And there are far worse people out there... one of them is in the white house.
In all honesty, I think he's been unlucky to end up as the cautionary tale of how not to treat your date. Maybe "Grace" could have handled it better.
But on balance, if I have to choose between his actions and her actions, I think his are worse.
Dude catches Kangaroo by hand while dressed as an Emu
EMPIRE says...oh for fuck's sake... why so handsy with roadkill?
Human Slip & Slide.
ravermanWhat an inspiration... Instead of giving away money, just have the game show take place in a brothel.
The only thing worse than a 'handsy' old man is a 'handsy' old man all oiled up and try to slide over you.
I can't decide:
Is it worse to be the 5th girl where he stops with his hands on you....
Or the 3rd girl where he stops with his boner poking you.
The ladies love Ben Affleck, even when he's really drunk
rickegeeI interviewed Ben Affleck once in Boston.
He is a little handsy. Warm lap, though.