On a lighter note: if I checked myself for those symptoms after a night out drinking, I might score 7 out of 11. Or 6 out of 11 after my mate Walid's barbecue.

Monday, August 15. 2011

Nero in the White House
By Mychal Massie

Three significant historical events have been eclipsed by Obama: 1) Jimmy Carter will no longer be looked upon as the worst president in American history; 2) Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton will no longer be recognized as the greatest liars in presidential history; 3) Clinton's stain on Monica's dress, and what that did to the White House in general and the office of the president specifically, will forever pale in comparison to the stain and stench of Obama.

I need not spend much time on the failure of Obama as president. His tenure has been a failure on every measurable level. So much so, in fact, that some of the staunchest, most respected liberal Democrats and Democratic supporters have not only openly criticized him – some even more harshly than this essayist – but they have called for him to step down.

Richard Nixon's words "I am not a crook," punctuated with his involvement in Watergate, and Bill Clinton's finger-wagging as he told one of the most pathetic lies in presidential history, in the aftermath of Obama, will be viewed as mere prevarications.

Mr. Nixon and Clinton lied to save their backsides. Although, I would argue there are no plausible explanations for doing what they did, I could entertain arguments pursuant to understanding their rationales for lying. But in the case of Obama, he lies because he is a liar. He doesn't only lie to cover his misdeeds – he lies to get his way. He lies to belittle others and to make himself look presentable at their expense. He lies about his faith, his associations, his mother, his father and his wife. He lies and bullies to keep his background secret. His lying is congenital and compounded by socio-psychological factors of his life.

Never in my life, inside or outside of politics, have I witnessed such dishonesty in a political leader. He is the most mendacious political figure I have ever witnessed. Even by the low standards of his presidential predecessors, his narcissistic, contumacious arrogance is unequalled. Using Obama as the bar, Nero would have to be elevated to sainthood.

As the stock markets were crashing, taking with them the remaining life saving of untold tens of thousands, Obama was hosting his own birthday celebration, which was an event of epicurean splendidness. The shamelessness of the event was that it was not a state dinner to welcome foreign dignitaries, nor was it to honor an American accomplishment – it was to honor the Pharaoh, Barack Hussein Obama. The event's sole purpose was for the Pharaoh to have his loyal subjects swill wine, indulge in gluttony and behavior unfit to take place on the property of taxpayers, as they suffer. It was of a magnitude comparable to that of Tyco CEO Dennis Kozlowski's $2 million birthday extravaganza for its pure lack of respect for the people.

Permit me to digress momentarily. The U.S. Capitol and the White House were built with the intent of bringing awe and respect to America and her people. They were also built with the intent of being the greatest of equalizers. I can tell you, having personally been to both, there is a moment of awe and humility associated with being in the presence of the history of those buildings. They are to be honored and inscribed into our national psyche, not treated as a Saturday night house party at Chicago's Cabrini-Green.

The people of America own that home Obama and his wife continue to debase with their pan-ghetto behavior. It is clear that Obama and family view themselves as royalty, but they're not. They are employees of "we the people," who are suffering because of his failed policies. What message does this behavior send to those who today are suffering as never before?

What message does it send to all Americans who are struggling? Has anyone stopped to think what the stock market downturn forebodes for those 80 million baby boomers who will be retiring in the next period of years? Is there a snowball's chance in the Sahara that every news program on the air would applaud this behavior if it were George W. Bush? To that point, do you remember the media thrashing Bush took for having a barbecue at the White House?

Like Nero – who was only slightly less debaucherous than Caligula – with wine on his lips Obama treated "we the people" the way Caligula treated those over whom he lorded.

Many in America wanted to be proud when the first person of color was elected president, but instead, they have been witness to a congenital liar, a woman who has been ashamed of America her entire life, failed policies, intimidation and a commonality hitherto not witnessed in political leaders. He and his wife view their life at our expense as an entitlement – while America's people go homeless, hungry and unemployed.

Now we need one with "Men laughing alone with barbecues" for the *homme channel.

And no its not a dupe because of the 30 seconds.

It takes on a whole different angle, it does not revolve around the rifle scene like the rifle scene does, this is about shrimp.


" You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it.
Source(s):
imdb.com "

Wikipedia: Independence Day, commonly known as the Fourth of July, is a federal holiday in the United States commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain. Independence Day is commonly associated with fireworks, parades, barbecues, carnivals, fairs, picnics, concerts, baseball games, family reunions, political speeches and ceremonies, in addition to various other public and private events celebrating the history, government, and traditions of the United States. Independence Day is the national day of the United States.

Something tells me he wasn't trying to light the barbecue.

wow, even the fda thinks you're a wuss. have you seriously never been to a barbecue or a potluck? 30 minutes is nothing. live a little.

Yea that Barbecue pronouncing kid is hilarious, I never really noticed how fixated on it he is until I really noticed the ending. He should be a new remix mime.

reminds me of little kid ramblings

'...and then my dad had the snake and put it in the woods, and the next day I had a dream that the moon was going on vacation, and, oh, is that someone scuba diving at night? but, so we can have a barbecue and melt things together sometime because...'

she didn't know the barbecue sauce?

Damn Iceland. Always burning their shit while Europe is trying to have a backyard barbecue.

Is this the roast? It's more like a vegetarian barbecue, complete with soy hot dogs. Or as blankfist calls them, "edible sex toys." That's not mayo, folks.

Sigh. This is lamer than Michael J. Fox shaking hands with Muhammad Ali while Stephen Hawking does the fox trot.

Hello, is this thing on?

These roasts are becoming so tired, I feel like I'm watching a Ben Stein documentary during a gas leak. Someone light a match and end this suffering.

I guess I should say something about Kulpims, since it's his party, right? Sure.

Kulpims is a foreigner, and I distrust all foreigners. I also distrust Foreigner, because they sing "I Want to Know What Love Is." Which is a song about Ike Turner, I believe. I can't remember. I'm baked off my ass right now. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, fuck Foreigner. and Fuck foreigners. But not Kulpims, because he probably has AIDS or gonorrhea or scurvy, like a pirate. Speaking of pirates, have you seen that one movie where the guy is all like, AAARGH! That shit was hella awesome. But anyway, Kulpims is...uh...Eritrean, right? Or is he Scandinavian? I forget. He's one of those white dudes who rides his bicycle in circles and shoots documentaries about evolution. Or was that Bob Crane? Yeah, that's it. Kulpims is the guy who shoots bondage film and whacks off while hitting himself with a flagellation stick. What was I talking about? Oh yeah:

Fuck Foreigner.









Anybody got any French Onion Dip?

True ^dat. Not that it'd make a big difference as far as talking over one another goes, but I guess I should have prefaced this by saying this was actually recorded for sound on Adam Carolla's podcast, so they were probably more focused on the audio rather than video.

And LMFAHS at your midget comment. So true, but aren't you glad at least that everyone else berated him for it? And, wtf, you get nauseated watching food get cooked? Then why would you attend a barbecue?!

Also, does the chef guy's voice remind anyone else of "psychic" James Van Praag's? Ugh.

Lyrics:

EH: I think this is an ignoramus statement
Umm, I was even a person who thought
You know what, power to Joe the Plumber at that point
SG: Before he went around laying his pipe all over town
EH: Well, Joe the Plumber is not invited
Anywhere around me
EG: Does baby need a tissue?
Thinking about the time the plumber kissed you
Before you caught him creeping with the shitzu
RM: As republicans, the party does seem to be in chaos
RP: They need to change their attitude, attitude
Their attitude, attitude
MG: Ay, tells us what your homeys can do
To make a change
RP: You know, they talk about personal freedoms
They have to believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know, we know, we know you just got to believe
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To belieeeeeeeeeve! Lieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve!
MG: You saying Republicans on crack
Are you cozy with the Democrats?
RP: I just don't think that either party
Right now offers a whole lot
MG: You'll see some real change
From the 3rd party at my house
Poppin champagne, bacardi; gettin crunked out
Triple rhymin with Joe Biden
While we Imbibin Hennessy
Come on over--drinks on me, homey
HK: We'll be friends with you
AZ: And bff with you
Main Damies with you
HK: And colleagues with you
AZ: I'll be in your crew
HK: I'll be in yours, too
AZ: Jumpin rope with you
HK: Playin Donkey Kong with you
AZ: Hatchin plans with you
HK/AZ: invade Tajikistan with you
HC: We do not believe either Afghanistan or Pakistan
Can achieve lasting progress
Without the full participation of all of your citizens
Including women and girls
AZ: Having a barbecue
HK: Grilling a goat with you
AZ: Grilling terrorists, too
HK: Getting matching tattoos
HC: The rights of women must be respected and protect--
AZ: --Picking flowers with you
HK: Hot showers with you
AZ: Falling in love with you
HK: Nude at the zoo
AZ/HK: Making memories at the pottery wheel, rubbing clay on you all afternoon
KC: It would be one of the most dramatic
Foreign policy about faces ever
AG: To what do you refer, shawtayee?
KC: A bipartisan bill in Congress would end
The 47-year-old trade freeze with Cuba
AG: Ojalá congreso le gusta esta
KC: It has only spotty support so far
But President Obama's already taken some baby steps
Letting Cuban Americans visit family members
And send them money
But for most of us it's still a place that is
Strictly off limits
AG: Not for this G
I just went there illegally
Speaking of which, will you buy drugs from me
On national TV?
Don't fret--the people think I'm joking
But guess what (what?)?
I've never joked in my life; ooh-wee, shawtayee
KC: The trade embargo made sense a half century ago
AG: That's 50 years
KC: During the Cold War
Fidel Castro took sides with the enemy
But the Soviet Union is long gone
AG: Disbanded:
KC/AG: Long gooooone!
SG: Dick Cheney. Rush Limbaugh or Colin Powell. Who's your damie?
DC: Well, if I had to choose, uh
In terms of being a Republican I'd go with Rush Limbaugh
My take on it was Colin had already left the party
SG: I don't think that actually happened
[awkward silence]
This is an awkward silence;
I guess I'll fill it with ad libs
Oh! Shawty! Yeah
EG: Whoo! Aaaah
KC: Now it's up to Fidel and Raúl Castro
AG: Esos Castros locos. Cuidado
KC: President Obama says he wants to see Democratic reforms
Particularly on human rights and free speech
So congress will be looking for signs of change
After almost 50 years
AG: Ay, that's half a century
KC: U.S. policy will not reverse overnight
Relations remain chilly
But for the 1st time in generations
A thaw is possible
AG: A thaw, but what sort of thaw?
What exactly is thawing?
KC: Very, very, very, very
Very thin ice
AG/KC: Very thin ice, very thin ice, very thin ice

Ok... a pet pig named after a barbecue charcoal brand... kinda like naming your children after history's most infamous pedophiles...