I've got something in my eye. I blame the penguin. has been added as a related post - related requested by ant on that post.

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Benedict Cumberbatch Can't Say "Penguins" has been added as a related post - related requested by Lilithia on that post.

Benedict Cumberbatch Can't Say 'Penguins' has been added as a related post - related requested by Lilithia.

Wow, these people went a long way to see penguins...that's why we have zoos people!
I know there's international agreement that no nation will 'invade' and try to take control of Antarctica, but I often wonder why no private group has 'annexed' at least part of it and started a new country. There's plenty of 'free' land, and natural resources galore in both minerals and a large percentage of the worlds fresh water. There must be some reason I'm just not getting.

They're the fish equivalent of penguins.

I'll explain who's expense they each are at....
1. the stick's expense edit: and the reader's
2. ET's expense edit: and the reader's
3. mathematician's expense
4.your and/or the DR's expense
5.zebra's expense (edit: but riddles aren't really jokes, even though you may find humor in the consternation of others due to your trickery)
6. penguin's expense

I never said they were all offensive, horrible, or nasty, only that there is always a target for/of the joke/misunderstanding.
I suppose puns may be an exception, if you call that a joke, but they are still at the listener's expense to a degree (as they are intentionally misled and made to look the fool).
7. at Bob's(and the reader's) expense
8. fish's expense
9. bad magic trick at the magician's expense
10. bad piano at the player's expense
11. fictional character's expense
12. Lebowski's expense
13. fish's expense
14. your expense
15. doug's expense
16. listener's expense
17. skeleton's expense
No one said they would be offensive, only at someone's or something's expense. Play's on words hardly count as "jokes" but they are still at something's expense, even if it's only the listener who was tricked by the teller.
I could go on and on, but I'm not being paid for this either. I hope I opened your eyes to the idea that all humor IS at someone/thing's expense.
Now dread away. I'm not embarrassed that you didn't read my post/comment closely.

EDIT: ...and when I was begging for air, I was under water...and you just laughed and said "I see air".

No problem. I've got a few jokes for you straight off the bat - what's brown and sticky? A stick. What's ET short for? He's only got little legs. Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil. Doctor doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Pull yourself together! What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra. What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill.

Hell, Tim Vine does hundreds of one liners in half an hour and the majority of them are not at anyone's expense.

I think you've confused what you find funny with the term "humour" as it were. You may only find shadenfreude funny, and so you think all humour is shadenfreude, but it is patently obvious that things can be humourous without being at someone's expense and i find it almost petulant to be asked to prove it when it is so obvious. You almost certainly know loads of jokes like that. How does Bob Marley like his donuts? Wi' jam-in. I stood there, wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger and bigger..... and then it hit me. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam.

From what i remember of Lenny Henry's standup (like him or not) in the old days, he didn't often tell a joke at someone's expense. Tommy Cooper used to make people laugh by doing bad magic tricks. Les Dawson used to make people laugh by playing the piano badly as only a good pianist can. Terry Pratchett makes me laugh by conjuring up funny situations in a fictional world. I laughed at the Big Lebowski when he shaded the pad of paper to see what secret notes Jackie Treehorn was making and it turned out to be a doodle of a man holding his own cock. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. I bought some new viagra eye drops, cos they make me look hard. What do you call a man with a shovel on his head? Doug.

I could go on and on and on, but i don't get paid for this and i have other stuff to do, but i hope i've opened your eyes to whole new realms of comedy where people don't get hit in the face with stuff. Where are the Andes? At the end of your wristies. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.

I'm so confused by your request for proof that i feel like someone's asked me "Air? What air? There's no air, i can't see any!"

I'm utterly dreading to read your reply if it says anything along the lines of "That ET joke is offensive to short people! That skeleton joke is offensive to people with eating disorders! The penguin joke is offensive to the penguin you pushed down the hill!" Please don't embarrass us both by doing that, we both know those jokes aren't offensive. (Or very funny, to be honest.)

*promote

Because: Penguins...

Damn you! Got me excited, then I looked and mine are first reprints of #1 and #2.
My Adolescent Radioactive Blackbelt Hamsters (in 3D) is a first print though! Probably worth almost the $2.50 it cost! Same with Samurai Penguin and Miami Mice. Why must my taste be so bad?

CRAP! Even the one good series I have, hard boiled (early Frank Miller) is worthless!

The father-in-law of a fellow Toastmaster actually participated in the Great Escape. He was a penguin... responsible for distributing the dirt dug from the tunnels throughout the prison yard via pockets built into their pants. Fortunately, he was NOT one of the ones chosen to escape. Aside from the fact there were no Americans at the POW camp, he said the movie was reasonably accurate, i.e. three tunnels, the one used came up short of the treeline...
The camp commander was imprisoned after the war. Some of his POWs went to visit him to let him know that they bore him no ill will. They were all soldiers and they considered the base commander to be a fair man who treated them well under the circumstances.
He refused to see them. Via an intermediary he relayed to them that he simply couldn't face them. He said that he never felt more ashamed to be a Nazi as when he heard that the SS had executed the 50 escapees from his camp.
The most fascinating part of Jim Lang's story though was the story BEFORE he arrived at the POW camp. Too long to relay here but he was shot out of the sky when returning from an air raid. Spent a few weeks on the run in the Belgium countryside.
He has since died but I fortunately recorded his presentation... just a great slice of history.

Penguins vs Rope - Narrated version! has been added as a related post - related requested by Zawash on that post.

Penguins vs Rope Fail has been added as a related post - related requested by Zawash.

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