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Meet Your First Black Girlfriend

Yogi says...

I say everything inappropriate at all times so yeah to me you are on the OTHER END of the scale. Also I know what the fuck "ashy" and "nappy" mean, and no I will never stop saying the word "Nigger" in context.

Sagemind said:

I must be so at the other end of some other scale, because none of this seems like anything I'd even think of saying or doing or imagining.

Two brothers make awesome best man video

lucky760 says...

Lyrics:

He is your brother.
And just because he's older,
He will always try to boss you.
No matter what you do,
You must obey him!

He is your brother.
And just because he's younger,
You will learn to tell your fists no,
When he beats you on Nintendo.
Do not hit him!

Ahhhhhhhhh
Don't leave us,
You are our jesus.
But you look like mother.
Don't want to lose you,
To another.

Ahhhhhhhhh
Don't leave us,
You are our jesus.
She maybe your lover,
But do not forget,
You are our brother!

You were a loser,
Your haircut was a mullet.
You could not play the bassoon,
You had a dark blue bedroom,
What were you thinking?!

You also had a mullet!
I was always the cool one.
I was the budding rock star,
I'm awesome at the guitar....
...But you work for me now!

Ahhhhhhhhh
Don't leave us,
You are our jesus.
But you look like mother.
Don't want to lose you,
To another.

Ahhhhhhhhh
Don't leave us,
You are our jesus.
She maybe your lover,
But do not forget,
You are our brother!

You were working as a salesman,
In a homeware & design store.
You only ever wore black,
Your life was made of Habitat.
You were lonely.
Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh

That was when you met her,
Though you would never tell us.
But then we finally guessed it,
Out came your dirty secret -
You loved your boss!
Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh
You loved your boss!!!

You are my brother.
Just look how far you've come now.
I used to change your nappy,
Now you're old & saggy,
Fat like Paddy.

You are my brother.
I always looked up to you.
But now to me it's quite weird,
Cause you have hair & a beard,
Just like our Daddy.

Ahhhhhhhhh
Don't leave us,
You are our jesus.
But you look like mother.
Don't want to lose you,
To another.

Ahhhhhhhhh
Don't leave us,
You are our jesus.
She maybe your lover,
But do not forget,
You are our brother!

Chords....are simple & repetitive:

First 2 verses & choruses: D minor, F major, A minor, D minor
Middle 8 (the 'you were working as a salesman' bit): C major, F major, C major, F major, A minor; repeat then go to D minor
Final verse: D minor, F major, A minor, D minor
Final choruses: D minor, F major, A minor, D minor

© Rufus Starlight, Baddy Paris & Ferris Ferhat.

Two brothers make awesome best man video

moonsammy says...

Also: nappy. And buildings that looked quite old and generally British.

L0cky said:

I'm guessing they're British from the 'Choose This' Trainspotting reference; the brief flash of Alan Sugar when they sing 'your boss'; and the licence plate and road markings.

WTF Japanese Bikini Waxing Commercial - (Wait for it)

chingalera says...

"Hey ladies, remember how good it felt down there when you were eleven?"

Thanks to internet porn, even your fucking grandmother trims the beaver hutch nowadays....Quite frankly, we miss the thigh furbies......can't stand stubble and ingrown hars down thars, OH, and tell me this ladies..

Does rendering your snatch hairless make that particular area of your anatomy more desirable or aid in her proper function? NO. Hairless beavers are tantamount to corsets and high heels-It's a discomfort endured, touted by horny douchebag males as a hip, new style. Not so thinly-veiled pedo-bear new rules....

Notwithstanding my personal tastes, some nappy dugouts are quite hard to regard with relish.....Maybe YOU should consider the laser, hon....

Obama - 5 Years in Two Minutes

Popcorn Eating Dog Makes Baby Laugh Uncontrollably

Katt Williams - The Oakland Meltdown

vaire2ube says...

i have transcribed what i could from the FreeStyle portion of the night:

-----------------
when im walkin down (___ and ___) // telegraph?
____ these niggas doin me

then i walk up in the oracle
hear pussy niggas booin me

but when im in the back they love me like an israeli
its like niggas be jewin me

and yo girl got my penis in her mouth
like she bubble gum chewin me

im sick with it motherfucka
like E40
I got the flu in me

I get new money
from new dummies
its like i got new in me

and these niggas got the nerve to boo the savior
boo christ
the son of god
it dont really matter
they can boo me twice
im twice as hard

you might as well give me 20 nigga
thats how much the album costs
fuck boy
but i bet if you can walk to your car
i can show your bitch a dick she'll enjoy

so why dont you take your pussy ass on over there nigga
before i fuckin catch ya
or you can pull your bank out and ill match ya

but you aint gonna do shit but get punched in the face
old san francisco 49er ass faggot ass nigga
get outta here you not a lion in this race

im gonna freestyle these niggas
mestyle these niggas
im katt williams the gangsta
ill g style these niggas

i dont need no music
i can do it
A-capulco

and if a nigga say fuck me
i hit em with a fuck you too

i dont give a fuck

i brought john witherspoon
and i got three bad bitches
waitin at the waterfront
at my hotel room

so if you dont like me
and you think im stuntin
come get yo pussy ass whooped
outside by a statue of jack london

or... or

i can find one of them bitches
that i rescued from the track
and have her slice yo pussy ass neck
and leave you on the railroad track

it dont really matter to me
i dont give a fuck

i roll with G O D and the nation
if you dont like me
catch me eatin a cherry pie
cause its seasonal at nations

fuck these niggas
im the boss
i got so much sauce
im heavier than ross

i dont give a fuck
ask yo bitch
i bet she know me
i bet that bitch
can suck my dick outside of yoshis

huh... yea
fuck what these niggas talkin bout
no no, no no, i dont wanna hear it
if you wanna tell me,
catch me while im walkin like barry

naw naw naw naw
i know
you paid for a some laughs
ha ha ha ha ha
get on your cell phone
tell em meet you at telegraph

get it? cell phone telegraph.. its the same thing..anyway

im too good
white people dont like me
im too hood
bitches love me
im so wood..yea
lesbians love me
eat pussy so good

hey..dont worry..dont worry
be happy
they said they didnt like my hair when its permed
now they dont like it when its nappy

no, but it was flat in pimp chronicles,
they was talkin shit
now the shit look like the joker and riddler
and its only loved by your bitch

its so sad
so sad
they put in me in cuffs
and they so mad
so mad

but i swear, i dont give a fuck about a penis
cause katt williams is from mars, same as women
fuck penis

love yall forever
always will
i dont give a fuck who dont like me
thats what make me real

im not trying to be something
this is all im is

if you dont be-lask me
ask the niggas i fuck with
the bitches i fuck
and my motherfuckin kids

i done done seven specials
richard pryor only did two
eddie murphy did two
which is bigger seven or two?
same for me
same for you
huh huh huh huh huh


george carlin died before
katt williams did fo'
and then did three mo

katt williams live
its pimpin pimpin
pimp chronicles

got my mother fuckin dick in your bitches tonsils
hahahaha ha
i look like im young
im 43 nigga
get fucked by a fossil

the bitches that follow me are not ho's
they're my mother fuckin apostles
they're my disciples
i tell that bitch straight to the cross
ill knife ya

go to jail for a nigga my bitch
ill write ya

Shelley Lubben On Abuse In The Porn Industry - (Very NSFW)

dystopianfuturetoday says...

Easy. I could extend my list to a hundred for a sentence this long. I was prepping for the shortest sentence in the english language: Go.

1.You are clearly biased towards the English language. I guess people who don't speak English are shit out of luck, right Shepppard?

2. You are clearly biased towards standard contemporary western sentence structure. E.E. Cummings need not apply.

3.You are clearly biased towards whimsy, completely excluding seriousness from the debate. When you are ready to take the lampshade off your head, let me know.

4. You are biased towards making yourself the subject of the sentence. ME. ME. ME. WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?

5. You are biased in favor of commas and periods I see. You've relegated poor Mr. exclamation point to just a parenthetical afterthought, while poor Mr. Question mark is nowhere to be seen.

6. You are biased in favor of writing about animals. SPECIES TRAITOR!

7. Your are biased in favor of using the word fuzzy as an adjective to describe said animals, when furry, fluffy, frizzy, nappy, wooly, hairy or hirsute would have sufficed.

8. You are biased in favor of using the words 'not fuzzy' to describe said animals, when not furry,not fluffy,not frizzy,not nappy,not wooly,not hairy or unhirsute would have sufficed.

9. You are biased in favor of using compound sentences when a simple sentence would have worked just as well, which would have saved us all a lot of time, which we could have used to do important things like cure cancer and sift videos, but now that time is gone thanks to your overly, overly, overly, overly, overly, overly long compound sentence.

10. Lastly, you are biased in favor of writing sentences in response to absurd challenges from strange persons on the internet trying to make the point that every action you take is subtle prejudice against all of the other actions you didn't take. Every word you chose to use in your sentence shows bias against the words you didn't choose to use. The precise moment that you hit submit on your comment was an inadvertent disenfranchisement of the many other moments that might have appreciated the honor of time stamping your achievement.

It's biases all the way down.

Shepppard said:

I like fuzzy animals, but I like not fuzzy ones just as much.

(Your move, DFT! )

Why Are Things Cute?

Are you, or will you be, a parent? (User Poll by xxovercastxx)

xxovercastxx says...

>> ^chingalera:

2 sons, 13 and 9
Glad they're here to experience the place and would change another 5 million shitty nappys to make sure they have as good a go at it as myself so far....


Good to know that Videosift will not want for trolls when your time is up, chogs.

Are you, or will you be, a parent? (User Poll by xxovercastxx)

Baby climbs for his toys 22 months old

spoco2 says...

Having him in a nappy and calling him a baby at almost 2 years old is really pushing the 'look how young he is' bit.

If you put him in his normal clothes (he may still be in nappies sure, but a lot of kids are out of them at that age), and said 'Almost 2 year old climbs', people would be less impressed.

He's good, sure... but the age thing is being pushed to an extreme for effect.

NM Cop Humps Girl on Honda (prairie dog glares)

Master of Disguise - Camouflage Dance Attack

90 Pregnancies in One High School

Reefie says...

>> ^bareboards2:
I'm not sure that this is the reason. You think these kids don't know what a condom is? This isn't a rural isolated school.
There have been anecdotal reports of young women getting pregnant so that they will have someone who will love them. To me, this epidemic of pregnancies is a reflection of low self-esteem and poverty, of young women seeking to feel relevant and empowered.
Teachings about condoms isn't going to fix that.
>> ^Skeeve:
In all seriousness though, I'd be willing to be this has something to do with abstinence-only sexual education and a lack of education about, and availability of, protection.
When are people going to realize that teenagers have sex whether you want them to or not? Providing education and protection is the only real solution.
>> <



Sounds very much like why my youngest sister got herself pregnant. That plus the benefits situation in the UK can help someone generate an income for the next 16 years, longer if the children stay at home while attending uni or other forms of further education. You're right that teaching these teenagers about condoms might not fix the problem, but teaching them what it's like to raise a child might be a good way to put them off - let's have all teenagers (boys and girls) work in old folks homes for a few months so they get first-hand experience of nappy-changing, bathing, feeding, and overall the responsibility of having to look after another person.



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