I know what you're saying but I honestly can't remember the last movie that was both really good and unspoiled by the audience and or exhibitors. My best movie-going experiences of the past five years can only be described as tolerable. The best ones were probably when I was going through an alcoholic phase in early 2008 and seeing lesser-grade movies while drunk and sneaking beer and cider in there with me (helps when it's winter).

I'm currently having the dilemma that I really want to see DRIVE, especailly after loving the shit out of VALHALLA RISING by the same director on blu-ray. But I know if I see the movie in theatres some jackass will be there on a first date, or with his little brother, or having some other reason for non-stop jabber.

>> ^Sarzy:

True, the theatrical experience can suck sometimes (and your friend is a weirdo), but no home theatre can match the experience of seeing a great movie on the big screen. That's why, even as home theatre technology gets better and better, I'll never stop going to the movies.

Well oot o' the East there came a hard man
Oh-ho, a' the way frae Brigton?
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Well he went intae a pub and he come oot paralytic
Oh, VP and cider |VP is rum or sherry, I think
Ah-ha, what a hell of a mixture
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

(spoken: Sex rears its ugly head...)
Does this bus go tae the Dennistoun Palais?
Oh-ho, I'm lookin' fur a lumber |looking for a woman [1]
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

(spoken: Eyes up the talent, and lo and behold...)
In the dancin' he met Hairy Mary,
Oh, the flooer o' the Gorbals |flower
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

(spoken: Chats he up...)
Aw noo Mary, are ye dancin'?
"Oh no, it's just the way I'm staunin'" |standing
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

(spoken: Rebuffed!)
Well then, Mary, yer one in a million,
"Oh-ho, so's yer chances!"
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

(spoken: Rebuffed again!)
Well then Mary, can I run ye hame?
Oh-ho, I've got a pair of sandshoes,
"A ha-ha, ye're hell of a funny!"
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

(spoken: Never say die. Sways aboot nonchalantly,
picking his nails with a bayonet. An' he knocks her off...)
Well, doon through the back-close, an' intae the dunny, |[2]
Oh-ho, it wasnae fur the first time, |wasn't
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Then oot came her mammy - she was goin' tae the cludgie, |[3]
Oh-ho, I buggered off sharpish,
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Noo Hairy Mary's lookin' for her hard man,
Oh-ho, he's jined the Foreign Legion |joined
Ah-ha, Sahara unner ra camels, |under the camels
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Then Hairy Mary's had a little baby
Oh-ho, its faither's in the army
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

1. My online moniker is the first 8 letters of my high school nickname. The whole thing wouldn't fit on the scoreboard of a late 80s pinball high score board.
2. I was mute for a week with strep throat, and still managed to seduce someone using only physical comedy and facial expressions.
3. I've logged 79 of the 110 Messier Objects.
4. I once killed a groundhog because he was a legitimate threat to my food supply.
5. I can do amazing things with a map and compass.
6. I can do something with my tongue that I've never seen another human do. (This is in no way related to #2)
7. Al Gore once beat me in a foot race.
8. I can sing the theme to Land of the Lost.
9. I live closer to a trailhead than a gorcery store.
10. I am the only member of my family to live more than 25 miles away from where I was born.
11. I owe #10 to my time in the US Marines.
12. When someone asks "are there any questions" I almost always ask "What's the atomic weight of beryllium?"
13. When someone tells me the title of a book they're reading, I almost always ask, "did you get to the part where he dies yet?"
14. I can tell time and navigate by looking at the sky.
15. I love fast, upside down, looping rollercoasters, but the merry go round makes me sick.
16. I once filtered and drank mosquito infested muck as an alternative to dehydrating.
17. I bought my first couch at age 41.
18. I've never purchased a car, although I have bartered for many.
19. I once saw a medical professional use a frozen hotdog to insert a condom into a drunk guy's rectum.
20. I owe #19 to my time in the US Marines.
21. To this very day, I still have dreams about the Leonids Meteor Storm I saw in 2001.
22. I can prove the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
23. My favorite number is 23.
24. I brew damn fine apple cider.
25. I have seen many amazing things.

>> ^Deano:

I wish we had a better anthem. Something a bit punchier. France and Germany are much better IIRC.


Oh god, my dad goes on about this alll the time. He thinks God Save Our Queen is presumptuous and our National Anthem should be Land of Hope and Glory, hehe.

Joey, don't give people the wrong impression, the coolness came from the pints and pints of pear cider and the charm was because I didn't bring enough spends to pay for said cider

Slightly off-topic...the real Michael Caine's American accent makes my ears sad. I can't believe they gave him an Oscar for that shit performance in Cider House. These two should try impersonating Caine's awful American accent. Then you'd have something.

I know I'm old and my hearing's going but it sounds like "gimme that Christian cider": which would account for the performance.

http://blog.videosift.com/blankfist/What-was-your-costume-this-year

I went to a party. Was a ninja. Smoked some cigs. Had some beer and cider. Didn't get too drunk, which was nice as I was already nursing a hangover from the night before.

I love coke in Vegas.

In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
coke is a helluva drug...

what'd you do for halloween? anything fun?

In reply to this comment by blankfist:
You're a happy, lovey-dovey drunk. Haha. Gay.

In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
You are honestly one of the most funny on this site. Please don't be a stranger.

That's all we need to know pims, all we need to know

Issy, my god I think we're on the umm... fourth episode of season 3 and it's AMAZING! Lost is just surpassing itself in every way too, woohoo bout frickin time.

Ok i'll start you off then if I must.

This was one of the weirdest things to happen. I was young and reckless and completely rebellious and decided one day to jump the train with my friend to London. She knew some fellas up there who would put us up and I briefly knew who they were and had met them so wasn't particularly concerned. We spent the hour and a half there wedged in the loos smoking out of the window and drinking a bottle each of white cider, bleeeech. By the time we got there I was pretty wasted already, and it was a hot day etc. Wandering through London taking buses to get to this mobile phone shop they all worked in together. Eventually they finished up for the day and we went home to her friends place, by this point I had been given a few spliffs on top of the cider and was really not myself at all. Anyway, when we walked into this apartment there was this guy who was all dressed up in overalls painting the place.

Kelly's friend introduced him just as Steve and that he was doin him a favour decorating his place out for him as he'd not long moved there. He was a total hottie and I was drunk and stoned so had clearly lost any inhibitions and was flirting outrageously. As the evening went on he finished up and came in and sat down to eat with us and get drunk. Of course I was being a total slapper, and he seemingly didn't mind at all. Basically we got a bit frisky and all that jazz but when it came down to it (literally) there was no way I was going there his penis was abnormal and by that I mean gigantic! Scared the living shit out of me. Luckily he wasn't a bad guy and just laughed and we fell asleep all being well.

Next day I got made a complete twat of. Somehow the staff at the home I was living in had gotten hold of Kelly's number and rang her Mum who had done a 1471 when Kel phoned her the night before and gave the number to my social worker. So the next morning this guy who's flat we're in gets a very shitty phone call telling him that he had two underage girls who have run away, one in local authority care and that if he didn't take us to a police station so we could get home they would ring the cops and get them arrested. So yeah that was horrible, especially seeing as i'd lied about my age haha. Fucking embarrassing, but I was glad to get out of there after that. We had to wait in the police station until they could get a taxi driver who was willing to drive all the way to London from Bournemouth and then back again. Some stupid red tape funding issues stopped us just getting a taxi from London as it was going to be Social Services paying it, not us outright. Eventually some guy got there, and we fell asleep in the back of the car.

Woke up to find ourselves off road somewhere in the New Forest!! We absolutely shit ourselves, neither of us had a phone. All the lights were off and the driver was passed out in his seat, it was about 2am. We demanded he wake up not trusting him or the situation, it all felt very weird. He tried to tell us he was just needing a nap or he couldn't drive but we both started crying and panicking, so the poor bastard was left with little choice. Finally got home, acted like the little twat I was when they started questioning me about where I had been and what i'd been doing, as if they had no right to worry about me, god I was such a prick sometimes haha.

So I got lumped with paying that whole bill off, took me nearly a year to finish. As far as I was concerned though, it had been a little adventure and something in me when I was young craved independence so much I didn't think twice about doing stupuid stuff. The end of this story was the weirdest part...

This Steve had through his friend told Kelly a few times he wanted to meet up with me again and blah blah. I was never interested, mostly cos unless I was drunk the male species pretty much perplexed me even up until I was about 17! Turned out it was a good job I never went there. About 6 months later I get a phone call from Kelly telling me to turn the fucking tv on NOW. The Cook Report was on, some investigative journo Roger Cook used to go around doing exposes on stuff, he was one of the first people to do a show such as that. And there he was, this Steve. Turned out he wasn't a painter and decorator, he was the owner of a chain of phone shops and he had fraudulently made hundreds and thousands of pounds in stolen and contract phones. Jesus Christ

I'm not sure what the moral of this story is, but I can safely say I've never been as reckless since!

mmm, Cider and a spliff... don't mind if I do!

So one of the brothers lost his voice. Their 'dad' Billy Connolly did the DVD commentary track and shared his special lost voice remedy: Take apple cider vinegar, 3 teaspoonsful, mix with 1 teaspoonful of runny/clear honey.

Then boil the water and pour in 3 or 4 tablespoons of boiling water, gargle as much as possible as hot as bearable. Gargle at least 3 times.

Speak as little as possible - start humming later to ease throat in.

This remedy allowed the scene to be filmed without delay.

1) Season - Fall. I love the cool, crisp air, the leaves, the apple cider.
2) Place in the world - New England, USA
3) Children's book - Where the wild things are
4) TV Series - Comedy; Family Guy, Chuck, Scrubs Action/Drama; Heroes
5) Word - kluppsmuffen - I have no clue what it means (it's German) but I found it on a label on one of the machines where I used to work.
6) Film - Too many to pick a favorite.
7) Curse - Fuck - It's just so versatile.
Creature - Chinchilla.
9) Past time - Computer gaming.
10)Person - My lovely lady.

Which one?

11) Dog or cat - Dog.
12) Sweet or savoury - Sweet
13) Cereal or Toast - Ceral
14) Tan or pale - To be or to look at?
15) Shoes or barefoot - Barefoot
16) Desktop or laptop - Desktop
17) Drive or walk - Drive
18) Drama or comedy - Comedy
19) Sex or food - That's a toughie. Can't I eat while sexing?
20) Futurama or Simpsons - Simpsons

The Sift

21) Your fave personal submission The big Lebowski - the fucking short version.
22) A great comment on one of your vids - the definition of "masturbing".
23) Most off the wall member - Choggie.
24) Favourite user name - burdturgler
25) Your most used channel - Comedy
26) Personal dumbass moment - Stabbing myself in the leg with a metal strap.
27) Best avatar - Pft. Mine.
28) Partner in crime - Huh?
29) Do people offline know of your sift problem - What are people offline?
30) Idea for the site - Search by channels.

About you

31) Where do you live - Tempe, Arizona
32) Smoker/non-smoker - Fuck that.
33) Left or right handed - Left
34) Hair colour - my hair colour is brown
35) Relationship status - in one, but there's always an opening for blankfist.
36) How tall - Six feet.
37) Children - Fuck no.
38) Ever had an operation - Yes - septoplasty. That shit SUCKS.
39) Best feature - My ass.
40) Use four words to describe yourself - 1)Blankfist's 2)ass 3)arouses 4)me.

If you could...what, who, when etc

41) Bring a famous person back from the dead - George Washington. He'd be fuckin pissed at what we've done to his nation.
42) Give 50 grand to any charity - The MG charity for MG's debt reduction.
43) Send someone on a one way ticket to the moon - Anyone that thinks we've never been there.
44) Relive a moment in your life - There's a few where I'd want to right a few wrongs.
45) Have a superpower - Ability to control/travel though time.
46) Find out one thing you've always wanted to know - Um, I think it would be ? = 42
47) Have the opposite gender deal with something you have to - trying to take a piss with morning wood.
48) Be president for one hour - GTFO of Iraq, balance the budget and bring all of our troops back into the US. Work on us helping us for a change.
49) Delete a period in history - None?
50) Achieve one thing - build a time machine out of a DeLorean

I prefer my Dicken's Cider wide mouth. And in her butt.

I don't think he dies of long term exposure in Cider House Rules. Ether is relatively safe, I think it was an accidental overdose.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

I learned about tripping on ether from the Cider House Rules book. The abortionist doctor was addicted, and eventually died from it.

You gotta give Strombo props. Good on ya mate. I'm going to call it now, this man will end up selling Strongbow cider if he gains much more name recognition.