Strunk, Elements of Style, chapter 13:
Omit needless words.
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| Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no
unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same
reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no
unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his
sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only
in outline, but that every word tell. |
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| Many expressions in common use violate this principle: |
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| the question as to whether |
whether (the question whether) |
| there is no doubt but that |
no doubt (doubtless) |
| used for fuel purposes |
used for fuel |
| he is a man who |
he |
| in a hasty manner |
hastily |
| this is a subject which |
this subject |
| His story is a strange one. |
His story is strange. |
|
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| In especial the expression the fact that should be
revised out of every sentence in which it occurs. |
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| owing to the fact that |
since (because) |
| in spite of the fact that |
though (although) |
| call your attention to the fact that |
remind you (notify you) |
| I was unaware of the fact that |
I was unaware that (did not know) |
| the fact that he had not succeeded |
his failure |
| the fact that I had arrived |
my arrival |
|
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| See also under case, character, nature, system in Chapter V. |
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| Who is, which was, and the like are
often superfluous. |
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| His brother, who is a member of
the same firm |
His brother, a member of the same firm |
| Trafalgar, which was Nelson's last
battle |
Trafalgar, Nelson's last battle |
|
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| As positive statement is more concise than negative, and the
active voice more concise than the passive, many of the examples given
under Rules 11
and 12
illustrate this rule as well. |
| |
| A common violation of conciseness is the presentation of a
single complex idea, step by step, in a series of sentences which might
to advantage be combined into one. |
| |
| Macbeth was very ambitious. This
led him to wish to become king of Scotland. The witches told him that
this wish of his would come true. The king of Scotland at this time was
Duncan. Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth murdered Duncan. He was thus
enabled to succeed Duncan as king. (55 words.) |
Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth achieved
his ambition and realized the prediction of the witches by murdering
Duncan and becoming king of Scotland in his place. (26 words.) |
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6 Comments
jwray.
dystopianfuturetodayGood points, but there is also something to be said for rhythm and flow of the written word.
KreegathIt's also important not to repeat oneself in a sentence or sentences, which is why one would want to mix up using words like "though" and "since" with other, sometimes longer, words and phrases.
Additionally, concise writing isn't necessarily the correct procedure in all situations. Writing can indeed be like painting, an artform in its own right, with the ability to alter pacing, mood and atmosphere of a text. To achieve certain effects, it's even preferable to draw out a simple thought with superfluous writing and overly complicated wording.
EDIT: Which, ironically enough, Dystopianfuturetoday just wrote in a more concise way.
spoco2There is indeed room for concise writing, BUT I would much rather read:
"He is a man who would be king"
Rather than:
"He would be king"
Plus is has a slightly different connotation too.
It comes down to stylistic choices, and if all you're concerned about is brevity, then you can lose much of the beauty of language:
"The question as to whether or not he was gay was, in fact, the wrong one to ask"
Vs
"Whether or not he was gay was, in fact, the wrong question to ask"
Is just personal style.
"Owing to the fact that he was once a champion horse racer, she thought it best to not show him the dead foal"
vs
"Since he was once...."
Just doesn't sound as nice.
So, I will not be jumping on your brevity bandwagon sir, for I enjoy our language and all its myriad ways to describe the same thing. I mean, you could apply a lot of this to Shakespeare and create some deathly dull prose.
lucky760I call your attention to the fact that there is no doubt but that I am a man who in a hasty manner was unaware of the fact that I had arrived readily prepared to provide an answer as to whether this is a subject which may be used for fuel purposes. It is not.
djsunkidThe written language needn't be identical to that which is spoken. Redundancy helps information transfer. We are not very good listeners- by adding redundancy we give context to the other parts of speech. So much the better if in doing so, our speech might turn into poetry.
There is beauty to be found both in Hemingway's economy of language and in Shakespeare's purple prose.
Discuss...
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