The Bathrooms Of America. (NSFW) [UPDATED]
This is the 1st in my comprehensive 457,922 part series chronicaling the bathrooms of the mighty nation I call home. Huell Howser eat your heart out.
No expense was spared in the production of this blog entry. All pictures were taken with the absolute finest camera phone I could get free with a one year contract with T-Mobile (I'd better get a free month for advertising you corporate bastards.)
This first one comes from a 'Flying J' truck stop on the 15, close to Las Vegas.
This might be of particular intrest to the ladies. Condom machines like these adorn the walls of every truck stop, many bathrooms and the occaisional trendy night club. For 75 cents, you can sheath your pecker in many vibrantly colored and textured jimmys. What really sets this machine apart from the rest is the 'God Bless America' sticker in the lower left corner. C-L-A-S-S spells CLASS. I can't speak for the rest of the guys, but I'd sooner put my willy in a meat grinder than one of these truck stop rubbers. God only knows how long they have been sitting there in the heat, and I'd bet you my eyeteeth that these banana peels have not undergone the scrutiney of the FDA.
Our next feature is from a biker bar in Clinton, Montana. The name of the bar is 'Testicle Festival', which coincidenatally is the site of the nations largest 'Mountain Oyster' (Bull Testicles) eating contest, hosted by Hustler magazine. Here is a pic for those who think I'm making this up.
Anyway, I was quite surprized to see a genuine lolcat on the men's room wall of this masculine Mecca.
Depending upon your side of the sift lolcat war, this is either a triumph or sign of the apocalypse. Yes, the most manly of men, besides kp and rottenseed of course, are now smitten with lolcats, trading in their dirty limericks for the tiny furry hellspawned demons who have sent countless sifters back into their mothers wombs. I can only hope that this picture has not caused any strokes, heart attacks, suicides or GCWD's. My heartfelt apologies to the relatives of the deceased.
The next pic comes from a McDonalds in Kalispell, Montana, where they offer their patrons a very unique service.
I know Montana is a big Libertarian state and all, but this is ridiculous.
Our final picture for this installment is something glorious to behold. It comes from the interior of a randy bar called the Bulldog Saloon. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present, the wall of porn!
In honor of women's suffrage, the ladies bathroom is covered with cock shots. If I get enough requests from the women of VS and blankfist, I'll have Issy snap a pic for you. UPDATE-(thanks Dag) It turns out that the web address listed above is wrong. http://www.fart-slobber.com/ wil take you to the Bulldog's site.
UPDATE! By popular demand, here are some snaps of the Bulldog Saloon's ladies room. Issy took these with her vastly superior camera.
I bet this guy is hoping for some strobe-light action.
And some penii for the ladies and gay men.
I hope you enjoyed this trip through the American fartland.
PS: Issy and I will probably post some pretty pictures from our trip eventually. I just loves me some potty humor. Is that OK with you?
13 Comments
Farhad2000That's not a lol cat thats Fritz the cat
choggiehttp://www.dizzygraphics.com/
bathroom reviews
blankfistI know you said that site didn't exist, but, dammit, I went there anyways! Who could pass up a chance to see some slobber farts! Not I said the blankfist. Thanks for detailing your trip. I used to frequent Flying Js growing up in the South, and I have to admit, aside from their cheap gas and tasty breakfast menu, I also enjoyed their 75 cent condoms. Where else can you find a ribbed purple condom called the Digger? No smelly spermicide on them shits, just the sweet smell of cheap latex and friction burns.
dagComment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)
Great post. They were drunk and transposed the words on the URL. This is correct: http://www.fart-slobber.com/
MarineGunrockAwesome post, DFT. Keep em comin'.
kronosposeidonEvery day is a Testicle Festival where I live.
.
.
.
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Take that any way you want, but you'll still be wrong.
schmawyOh man. From Dag's link: "The Bulldog Saloon is located in downtown Whitefish Montana. We are now a smoke free establishment, bring the kids!
"Mommy? What are those pictures?"
I was in a truck-stop in Arkansas once and they had "Slick Willy" condoms in the machine, with a joke about 'preventing unwanted dress stains' on them. Those are the cheapest, nastiest prophylactics going. It is sensible to have them available, though.
rottenseedLet's all chip in to start a www.slobberfart.com. We've already got the advertising.
critttterYou'd think the 'extender' would cost more than the others...Issy please post the ladies room phallic-adelia. I am so in the mood for a road trip now - hey, ask me about the time my alternator died on a Saturday night on Highway 50, 'the Loneliest Highway In America', and I ended up at a brothel...wait, not to take away from your adventures DFT and Issy, please keep posting! I bet you had a blast!
swampgirlYou and me both, Crittter. I'm sooooo ready to hop in the car and drive. I'm heading south at the end of the month. Since I'll be taking the kiddies though, my pictures won't be quite so interesting
I could do w/o the wall of porn, but I must admit to having a fascination w/ what people sell in those weird vendor machines. What's in the Pandora's box I wonder?
Interesting visual stimulus for the babies at the baby hanging station
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I tell ya if you can hold out on a road trip.... Bed Bath and Beyond stores have some of the cleanest bathrooms. I'll hit the Magellan up for all their locations when I'm traveling.
bamdrew... your sure those aren't display bathrooms, swampgirl?
"jesus-lord, did she just drop a deuce in the JLX-3000 throne display?! oh my god she did,... and she must have been holding this in for hours!"
lauranow that you mention it, swampgirl, I'm so gonna buy a pandora's box when I head out for AL from here in a couple of weeks. I mean, why not find out? I'll let you know. lol
IssykittyUpdate! Ladies-room pix have been added^ as you can see, per critttter's request!
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