This is the 1st in my comprehensive 457,922 part series chronicaling the bathrooms of the mighty nation I call home.  Huell Howser eat your heart out.

 

No expense was spared in the production of this blog entry.  All pictures were taken with the absolute finest camera phone I could get free with a one year contract with T-Mobile (I'd better get a free month for advertising you corporate bastards.)

 

This first one comes from a 'Flying J' truck stop on the 15, close to Las Vegas.

 

This might be of particular intrest to the ladies.  Condom machines like these adorn the walls of every truck stop, many bathrooms and the occaisional trendy night club.  For 75 cents, you can sheath your pecker in many vibrantly colored and textured jimmys.   What really sets this machine apart from the rest is the 'God Bless America' sticker in the lower left corner.  C-L-A-S-S spells CLASS.  I can't speak for the rest of the guys, but I'd sooner put my willy in a meat grinder than one of these truck stop rubbers.  God only knows how long they have been sitting there in the heat, and I'd bet you my eyeteeth that these banana peels have not undergone the scrutiney of the FDA.  

 

Our next feature is from a biker bar in Clinton, Montana.  The name of the bar is 'Testicle Festival', which coincidenatally is the site of the nations largest 'Mountain Oyster' (Bull Testicles) eating contest, hosted by Hustler magazine.  Here is a pic for those who think I'm making this up.

Anyway, I was quite surprized to see a genuine lolcat on the men's room wall of this masculine Mecca.

Depending upon your side of the sift lolcat war, this is either a triumph or sign of the apocalypse.   Yes, the most manly of men, besides kp and rottenseed of course, are now smitten with lolcats, trading in their dirty limericks for the tiny furry hellspawned demons who have sent countless sifters back into their mothers wombs.  I can only hope that this picture has not caused any strokes, heart attacks, suicides or GCWD's.  My heartfelt apologies to the relatives of the deceased.

 

 

The next pic comes from a McDonalds in Kalispell, Montana, where they offer their patrons a very unique service.

  

I know Montana is a big Libertarian state and all, but this is ridiculous. 

 

Our final picture for this installment is something glorious to behold.  It comes from the interior of a randy bar called the Bulldog Saloon.  Ladies and gentlemen, may I present, the wall of porn!

In honor of women's suffrage, the ladies bathroom is covered with cock shots.  If I get enough requests from the women of VS and blankfist, I'll have Issy snap a pic for you.  UPDATE-(thanks Dag) It turns out that the web address listed above is wrong.  http://www.fart-slobber.com/ wil take you to the Bulldog's site.

UPDATE! By popular demand, here are some snaps of the Bulldog Saloon's ladies room.  Issy took these with her vastly superior camera.

I bet this guy is hoping for some strobe-light action. 

And some penii for the ladies and gay men.

I hope you enjoyed this trip through the American fartland.

 

PS: Issy and I will probably post some pretty pictures from our trip eventually.  I just loves me some potty humor.  Is that OK with you?