A string walks into a bar. The bartender sees him come in and says "we don't serve your kind in here, get out!"

So the string walks outside, twists himself around, ruffles his hair on one side, and then goes back inside.

The bartender says "didn't I already tell you we don't serve your kind in here?" To which the string replies "I'm a frayed knot!"

The wiki used to have a good anti-humor joke up:

A moose walks into a bar and says 'blood is the lipstick of wounds'. The bartender has no idea why the moose said this, or how it was able to speak.

I guess I like to play off the expectations of others and enjoy puzzlement just as much as a laugh.

A few weeks ago, I texted blankfist with 'How many libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?', but he wasn't having it. For the record, I was going to say 'One libertarian, assuming that libertarian did not have a mental or physical condition that would prevent such an activity.' I was going to follow up with 'Why did the Libertarian cross the road?' answer: "I don't know. I didn't ask."

Ah, that's news to me. I thought you were referring to him drinking a shot.
I be getting old.>> ^SlipperyPete:

>> ^kronosposeidon:
By the apparently informal nature of this gathering, he may well have imbibed an alcoholic beverage or two ahead of time. Not that he sounds inebriated in any way, but then maybe he can hold his liquor.
Hey bartender, I'll have what the astrophysicist is drinking.>> ^SlipperyPete:
In the thumbnail, it looks like he's lickin' a shot for science.
So, business as usual.


ahem...
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lick%20a%20shot

>> ^kronosposeidon:

By the apparently informal nature of this gathering, he may well have imbibed an alcoholic beverage or two ahead of time. Not that he sounds inebriated in any way, but then maybe he can hold his liquor.
Hey bartender, I'll have what the astrophysicist is drinking.>> ^SlipperyPete:
In the thumbnail, it looks like he's lickin' a shot for science.
So, business as usual.


ahem...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lick%20a%20shot

By the apparently informal nature of this gathering, he may well have imbibed an alcoholic beverage or two ahead of time. Not that he sounds inebriated in any way, but then maybe he can hold his liquor.

Hey bartender, I'll have what the astrophysicist is drinking.>> ^SlipperyPete:

In the thumbnail, it looks like he's lickin' a shot for science.
So, business as usual.

I heard a couple of these from my butler Wadsworth at my villa in Megaton, just before I shot him.

_________________

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here". The mushroom replies "Why not I'm a fun guy"

god i love this place.
but i have to say with choggie gone a bit of color just bleached out.
this is some tired ass bullshit.
this site when it first came out had a plethora of different people,ideas,emotions.
i mean talk about DIVERSE..i was mesmerized by this place...and choggie was a huge reason.
now look at it...
feels like twilight..the burnished sun fading over a bland landscape.
you think choggie is the reason so many left?
christ on a fucking stick...
are you serious? is that a serious statement?
ok..
try this.
go to posts two years ago.go ahead..i'll wait.
now..
go check the current top videos on this site.
see anything? notice anything?
it is becoming one big ball of sameness.
as if a giant vanilla cookie cutter was punching out the exact same material.
those people didnt leave because of choggie!
they left because this place started looking like a cheap version of the stepford wives.
they left because of the very thing we are talking about on this very post.
stupid and inane drama based on the most fragile and flimsy of all reasons:
"someone called me a name"
/facepalm...somebody just shoot me in the face.

because here is the cold hard truth kids.
this place was once a vibrant mecca for the most unique,obscure,challenging and original sites to visit.
populated by interesting people with interesting ideas and to watch the disagreements fly put a smile on my face that lasted for HOURS.
now it is slowly becoming an exercise in banality..
un-interesting and un-original.
so clap your hands together for that kids!
you just succeeded in killing originality!
the drama is even boring!
and that my friends..is the fucking cold hard truth..and you helped usher it in.

i dont have a problem with anyone here.
i understand dag had an agreement and had to do what he had to do.
i am not harboring a secret hatred for BT.
and i really should not have to even to explain this considering this is the internet and my feelings dont really matter in this situation but good-fucking-lord if i didnt people would start assuming i am out for revenge or gonna rampage or some other stupid shit.
that is...retarded.

choggie was banned per dag and his agreement...period.
choggie will..i assume..live another day and not commit ritual suicide.
but dont blame the ills of this site on the chogster.
look to your own behaviour before you blame another.

now THAT my friends..is what they call in the business A RANT.
please dont forget to tip your bartenders and waitresses..i'll be here all week!

>> ^cowboydan:

I saw him at Thurston Moore's show at Red 7 too >.> he was giving some 18 year old kid his phone number - I'd say it's safe to say he's a really down to earth guy.



Or very, very lonely.

>> ^choggie:

>> ^xxovercastxx:
Damn, Bill got old all the sudden.

no, you got old all of the sudden-


No, he got old all of A sudden

But was he a Jew?

No. Nobody said that.

But really. Was he a Jew?

It doesn't matter. Shut up.

No, I'm serious. If it was a Jew...

It wasn't a jew. He wasn't a jew.

Are you sure!

Yes, I'm sure. Sit down. Shut up.

Cause Jews do that all of the time!

Do what?

That!

That...what...what are you talking about?

You're a jew, aren't you rougy?

Piff! I wish....

So why do you protect them?

I'm not protecting them.

Your're one of them, aren't you?

Would you just...for fuck's sake...bartender?

Bartender!

Their loss.
>> ^blankfist:

>> ^gwiz665:
I loved him in Zombieland!

I'm pretty sure no one cares.

>> ^gwiz665:

I loved him in Zombieland!

I'm pretty sure no one cares.

>> ^xxovercastxx:

Damn, Bill got old all the sudden.


no, you got old all of the sudden-

Your video, Bill Murray Bartends at SXSW: Only serves people tequila, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'bill, murray, bartending, sxsw, tequila, tequila, tequila' to 'bill, murray, bartending, rza, gza, wu tang, sxsw, tequila, tequila, tequila' - edited by RhesusMonk