Tags for this video have been changed from 'trickery in more ways than one, TGI Fridays, viral, cocktails, drinks' to 'trickery in more ways than one, TGI Fridays, viral, cocktails, drinks, bartender' - edited by Zifnab

A neutrino walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?" The neutrino replies, "No thanks, just passing through."

^ A neutron walks into a bar and says "how much for a drink?" The bartender says "For you? No charge."

A virus walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "hey, we don't server viruses here!" The virus replaces the bartender and says "now we do".

>> ^rottenseed:

>> ^Fusionaut:
Celine Dion walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender says "You look like a fucking horse...stupid cunt"

>> ^Fusionaut:

Celine Dion walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"


Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender says "You look like a fucking horse...stupid cunt"

>> ^dag:


A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?"
The horse answers - "I'm an alcoholic and my wife left me."
Thank you.


>> ^Fusionaut:

Celine Dion walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"

>> ^gwiz665:

Pony said to Eagle, "I am very mad at Coyote, will you yell at him for me?"
Eagle said to pony, "Why can you not yell yourself"
Pony replied, "Because I am a little horse."

>> ^residue:

When does a horse talk?


Whinny wants to..

>> ^Stingray:

This is a bunch of horse sift.

Celine Dion walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

I'm with you. Because they've got those equine faces, you just can't tell what they're thinking. Dogs and cats are suitably anthropomorphic in facial shape. On that note, I'd like to offer my favorite horse joke:

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?"
The horse answers - "I'm an alcoholic and my wife left me."

Thank you.


>> ^Lann:

I don't trust horses. narrows eyes

"Bartender I'll have a whiskey please."

"Comin right up..

-- and good evening to you folks, what can I get you while I'm at it?"

...

BOP A DOODLE BIP A BOP A BANG A DIDDLE BOODLE DOODLE ...

"Out-- OOOOUTT!"

Sheeeeeeeeeit.

>> ^Ornthoron:

So this is the roast? Sorry I'm late, but it doesn't seem like I missed much. @<a rel="nofollow" href="http://wtf.videosift.com/member/thinker247" title="member since September 15th, 2007" class="profilelink">thinker247 tried to give us some material with that interview, but it seems he botched it thoroughly since nobody uses it. And MrFish didn't exactly help out with his uninspired answers. The only funny comment I've seen here was @<a rel="nofollow" href="http://troll.videosift.com" title="member since July 4th, 2007" class="profilelink"><strong style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">blankfist's (You have no idea how much it pains me to admit that), and he had to go back as far as a siftquisition almost 3 years back to find worthwhile material.
But I'm not one to shirk from responsibility, so I'll try to wring some lemming juice out of this brothel floor cleaning rag of an interview:
"4. What is your profession?
I’m a non-traditional student. Non-traditional means older (I put Van Wilder to shame). I will graduate with a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln at the end of the year. I plan to write good stuff somewhere, although I may go into public relations first.
I’m also a bartender, although I was laid off last month. I’ve worked in a dance club and a nice hotel.
I used to be a cook."
I've seen MrFish's type at my university. There are basically two types who pursue bachelor degrees after they've turned 30. One type is the eternal slacker, who gets too distracted by alcohol, drugs or video games to pass any courses, and the other type is the men and women with a mid-life crisis. This latter group typically choose some useless subject that "expands their horizon", like art history or philosophy.
I'm torn as to what group MrFish might belong to. His history of being laid off from low-tier jobs suggests the former, but journalism is a field that reeks of pretentiousness, so I think I have to go with the latter category. I know of no other people that overvalue there own importance as much as journalists. You really think you can do a difference in the world from Nebraska? With merely a bachelor degree? You could at least have chosen something useful for the children of tomorrow, like molecular biology or condensed matter physics. But of course, achieving even a bachelor degree in those subjects requires both hard work and intelligence.
You'll likely now try to prove you have both these qualities by using unnecessary long time to write a long and poignant retort to all the half-insults in this roast. This, you tell yourself, will show everyone how good you are with words and why you were destined from the start to become a Daily Nebraskan contributor. What you don't realize is that nobody else really cares, and that what you will come to consider the epitome of your oevre will likely only be read by yourself.

So this is the roast? Sorry I'm late, but it doesn't seem like I missed much. @thinker247 tried to give us some material with that interview, but it seems he botched it thoroughly since nobody uses it. And MrFish didn't exactly help out with his uninspired answers. The only funny comment I've seen here was @blankfist's (You have no idea how much it pains me to admit that), and he had to go back as far as a siftquisition almost 3 years back to find worthwhile material.

But I'm not one to shirk from responsibility, so I'll try to wring some lemming juice out of this brothel floor cleaning rag of an interview:

"4. What is your profession?
I’m a non-traditional student. Non-traditional means older (I put Van Wilder to shame). I will graduate with a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln at the end of the year. I plan to write good stuff somewhere, although I may go into public relations first.
I’m also a bartender, although I was laid off last month. I’ve worked in a dance club and a nice hotel.
I used to be a cook."

I've seen MrFish's type at my university. There are basically two types who pursue bachelor degrees after they've turned 30. One type is the eternal slacker, who gets too distracted by alcohol, drugs or video games to pass any courses, and the other type is the men and women with a mid-life crisis. This latter group typically choose some useless subject that "expands their horizon", like art history or philosophy.

I'm torn as to what group MrFish might belong to. His history of being laid off from low-tier jobs suggests the former, but journalism is a field that reeks of pretentiousness, so I think I have to go with the latter category. I know of no other people that overvalue there own importance as much as journalists. You really think you can do a difference in the world from Nebraska? With merely a bachelor degree? You could at least have chosen something useful for the children of tomorrow, like molecular biology or condensed matter physics. But of course, achieving even a bachelor degree in those subjects requires both hard work and intelligence.

You'll likely now try to prove you have both these qualities by using unnecessary long time to write a long and poignant retort to all the half-insults in this roast. This, you tell yourself, will show everyone how good you are with words and why you were destined from the start to become a Daily Nebraskan contributor. What you don't realize is that nobody else really cares, and that what you will come to consider the epitome of your oevre will likely only be read by yourself.

I lost my job as a bartender two weeks ago because of new management. I'm also a full-time student studying journalism. I liked selling booze but I loathed the corporate bullshit. I'm looking for internships and jobs in my field.

Really? Are we being that naïve? I know many waiters/waitresses/bartenders. They report nowhere near what they make in tips. This is one of the upsides of the job. When you deal in cash, you get to screw the government.>> ^nanrod:

Both in the US and here in Western Canada (all of Canada of course) tips and gratuities are taxable income and it is the responsibility of the recipient to keep track of how much they receive and report them on their tax returns. Consequently the government is not getting shafted out of income taxes by waiters/waitresses any more than by any other occupation.>> ^Sagemind:

1). The government is getting shafted on the income tax (someone call the IRS)

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"