Top Eleven Motherfuckers You Would Raise From The Dead & Give Superhuman Powers to
A night of inspired debaucheries with two genius', laughing their asses silly....Now we need a similarly enthusiastic comic book artist, to work on storyboards for the epic that unfolds, on a planet that Superman would leave for MYTZLPLK's dimension, rather than get involved.....
Top Ten Motherfuckers You Would Raise From The Dead & Give Superhuman Powers to:
11. Walt Disney-while within range, of any living , non-human , he has the power to turn the unfortunate creature, into a random interpretation of the psyche of any number of humans, who happen to get in his way.
10. Ed Wood Jr.-A Power to cause any man, to heartily embrace his feminine side.
9.. Princess Di-
(The power to appear to any man that she is the most beautiful woman they had ever seen, while at the same time making his dick shrivel.
8.Mr .Rodgers-Ability to make anyone in his vicinity, comfortable with who they are, and the ability to see their own self worth, (but only once a day for thirty minutes).
7.Emperor Norton-while within range, the average person will find themselves immersed in an alternate reality, that is Emperor Norton’s paradigm.
6. Elvis Aaron Presley
Has the ability, to turn peanut butter and banana sandwiches...into bricks.
5.Nikola Tesla- Has the ability to generate unlimited power, with enough titties in his face, by spinning Thomas Edison in his grave, at rotational vectors approaching the speed of light…
4.Adolf Hitler and the power to restore foreskins….but only on his knees wearing a bunny suit.
3.Doc Holiday-Never runs out of ammo, nor is there loss of edge on his blade, and exudes an unlimited supply of coke and N2O, from any pore on his body...
2. Mark Twain-Sam Clemens-Ability to keep Doc holiday occupied, and otherwise distracted….
*.1. R.Buckminster Fuller-Will Realize his power when he comes up with a way to use Tesla’s corpse-generator, to get him the fuck off the planet for which he once saw unlimited human potential…..
* See Plan B
Top Ten Motherfuckers You Would Raise From The Dead & Give Superhuman Powers to:
11. Walt Disney-while within range, of any living , non-human , he has the power to turn the unfortunate creature, into a random interpretation of the psyche of any number of humans, who happen to get in his way.
10. Ed Wood Jr.-A Power to cause any man, to heartily embrace his feminine side.
9.. Princess Di-
(The power to appear to any man that she is the most beautiful woman they had ever seen, while at the same time making his dick shrivel.
8.Mr .Rodgers-Ability to make anyone in his vicinity, comfortable with who they are, and the ability to see their own self worth, (but only once a day for thirty minutes).
7.Emperor Norton-while within range, the average person will find themselves immersed in an alternate reality, that is Emperor Norton’s paradigm.
6. Elvis Aaron Presley
Has the ability, to turn peanut butter and banana sandwiches...into bricks.
5.Nikola Tesla- Has the ability to generate unlimited power, with enough titties in his face, by spinning Thomas Edison in his grave, at rotational vectors approaching the speed of light…
4.Adolf Hitler and the power to restore foreskins….but only on his knees wearing a bunny suit.
3.Doc Holiday-Never runs out of ammo, nor is there loss of edge on his blade, and exudes an unlimited supply of coke and N2O, from any pore on his body...
2. Mark Twain-Sam Clemens-Ability to keep Doc holiday occupied, and otherwise distracted….
*.1. R.Buckminster Fuller-Will Realize his power when he comes up with a way to use Tesla’s corpse-generator, to get him the fuck off the planet for which he once saw unlimited human potential…..
* See Plan B
13 Comments
choggieWould love to see if this produces any inspiration along the same lines....who would YOU raise form the dead and give superhuman powers to??? Hmmmm.....?
jonnyEdgar Allen Poe - ability to counteract any individual's fear with one reading of any of his works. (The Black Cat works on small groups, The Pit and the Pendulum works on large groups.)
kulpimsthere's a bunch of people I'd like to raise from the dead to kick some ass in this decadent times. tough m'fuckers, like George Carlin, Bruce Lee or Stanley Kubrick (counteracts blankfist's ass-gravy)
choggiemeh....
twiddlesVlad Dracula would have the ability to turn blood into oil (or is it oil into blood?) after getting totally drunk and invading the wrong country.
dagComment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)
JFK, MLK and Lucille Ball.
OK, maybe not the last one so much.
kulpimsJesus (with added powers of televangelism, turning pepsi to cocain and frying the infidels with his awesome farts)
rasch187Emperor Norton needs to be raised from the dead. The world needs him more than ever before.
davidraineI've always been a fan of Albert Einstein, personally. He would be awarded the power to make anything take forever to happen, happen in the blink of an eye, or any length in between. Bonus power: Grants the ability to succeed in one subject by failing at all others.
Let's bring back Arthur Conan Doyle as well. He would not actually have any super powers, but everything he did would seem impossible until he explained it, after which it would all seem obvious.
davidraineNote: Speaking of Samuel Clemens, writing that last comment reminded me of him. I was about to write "all seem very obvious" there at the end, but then I remembered Mark Twain's words:
"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."
bluecliffAlexander Dumas - the ability to turn French fries into pommes frites (and vice versa)
Random 18th century intellectual - the ability to turn grammar into sunshine
Jorge Luis Borges - the power summarize the (w)hole of existence through a short work of fiction which you kinda like but aren't crazy about
Woodrow Wilson - the ability to turn an English speaking audience into a German speaking audience (and vice versa)
Oh, and FDR, no powers, just want to punch the bastard in the face
dystopianfuturetoday^I'd raise FDR too, with the power to get our country back on track and piss off neoconservatives.
Hunter S. Thompson, with the power to take as many drugs as he likes without painful side effects in hopes that he'd write more books and die of natural causes.
swampgirl*quality Choggie
How about resurrect William Shakespeare and give him the super power make people instantly speak in style of the dialogue of his plays.
Discuss...
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