Angry Grandpa Has Some Advice For Charlie Sheen

Rough translation: ".... he's got a million dollars hanging in his house somewhere", (cameraman) "who's that?" "That fucking drug headed Sheen. He may be winning, but the motherfucker is losing teeth. Have you seen his goddamn face?.... (emulates baboon)... You talk about that Charlie Sheen drug that's going to melt your face and shit? Motherfucker, I'll tell you what you should do bitch, you try a Charlie green drug. Because with the Charlie green drug, your face is still going to melt, but your kids... you don't have to worry about them crying over your fucking body, because you haven't got one no goddamn more AHA AHA AHA AHAHHHH!!! (draws breath) You don't deserve them.

"I'm Charlie Sheen, I'm going to buy myself some goddamn drugs, I'm a crackhead motherfuck. You piece of shit. Them goddamn boys, they loved you, they showed you respect, they tried to, and what do you do you drughead motherfucker? You... (spazboings)... you disappoint them, you disappoint everybody, you sorry piece of shit. Fuckyoufuckyoufuck youuuuuu.

"The name of your show was Two and a Half Men, well those two twins, they're the fucking men and you are the goddamn half. You sorry piece of shit, they're more grown up and adult than you are, you crackhead motherfucker, you toothless bastard Get these goddamned computer people to get your goddamn picture and touch up your fucking teeth. If you're so goddamn embarrassed, go to a goddamn dentist, write a motherfucking cheque. I did and I haven't got the money. You can write those goddamn whores $30-40,000 cheques, why don't you write your dentist one for a goddamn thousand?

"Let me show you what you need to do you dumb motherfucker. Everybody is being nice to you old Charlie Sheen, but you've got problems. But I'm going to be nice to you too Charlie. Look out... motherfucking orajel. You take this shit (mmmm mm mmmm mm mmmm splurt) and you spit the motherfucker out, that's how you get rid of the nasty fucking breath you've got. We've got toothbrush, toothpaste. Do you know what these are? Can we say updownupdownsidesidebackback? "

I CAN'T DO ANYMORE, I'M LAUGHING TOO GODDAMN HARD...