So, because one guy, Noah, sucked hard as a proselytizer, God murdered everyone else?
It must have been his failing since his message was so true and undeniable, yet it was denied and ignored, right? Why not just kill him and prove the message by miracle? Better, why not make everyone KNOW, not guess or believe, he exists and go from there. Using unverified middle men to spread your message is just plain stupid when you don't have to, and downright evil when you then torture those who don't accept it from those con men.

Like I said, complete incessant obedient subservience and worship of himself and his son under threat of eternal torture for any found lacking. That's narcissistic insecurity with absolute power, not love. Edit:part of love is accepting or at least tolerating disagreement, even disagreeable behaviour, and murdering people you find unsavory is not tolerance, sending them to hell is far closer to hate than love.
You don't threaten people into "loving" you out of love. (and worshiping out of fear isn't love)
You don't murder millions because you love them, even when they're being naughty.

I believe in a guy named Jesus, he could walk on water when it freezes, and turn water into wine using his vineyard, but his mom was no virgin and his dad was a human being. Am I good?

Jesus turned water into wine, only the god of movie explosions Michael Bay can turn a water barrel into a massive explosion.

That is not a fact until you have EVIDENCE for it, until then, it's a claim.

In general, the requirement for evidence is inversely proportional to the probability of the claim. If I say the sky is blue, most people don't need evidence of that because it fits with their world experience. If I say I'm the second coming of Christ, I damn well better start turning water into wine to prove my case.

Your CLAIM is that no white male police officer has ever been convicted of murdering a black male in America's entire history. I'm willing to accept that it's possible, but I'm not willing to take it as a fact until you can provide a reputable source.

And no, it's nothing like big foot or the loch ness monster. Criminal convictions are a matter of public record.

As it happens, I can't find any records of a police officer being convicted of murder (although there are several for manslaughter).

Doesn't make your childish behaviour any better though.

>> ^shinyblurry:
Having a glass of wine is not abusing drugs. It is a sin to be drunk, it is also a sin to drink to get buzzed, but it is not a sin to have a glass of wine with Jesus at the last supper.

Ahem.

>> ^shinyblurry:
A Christian does not use drugs receationally

Having a glass of wine with dinner is "using drugs recreationally". Alcohol is a drug. If you're drinking wine, you're not doing it for medicinal or nutritional purposes, so you're using it recreationally.

When Jesus turned the water into wine, why didn't he just tell the people to drink water?

Answer: because only an asshole would serve water to his guests at a party.

The wonderful process by which yeast turns sugar into alcohol is one of the few arguments I'll accept that if there is a god, he might not be totally indifferent to us.

Conspiracy theories are like religion. There is absolutely NOTHING you can say to someone that wears a tin-foil hat to disprove what they believe. Even when faced with evidence to the contrary, they just believe it is part of a massive "cover-up" that is so laughably impractical and illogical it rivals turning water into wine...

Jesus and Robin Hood and Socrates, and any other popular figures from more than a couple of centuries ago, have their existence/non existence blurred with legends, stories and all sorts of stupid demented bullshit to the point where no one really knows what the story is. Anyone who claims to is lying.

You take the good stuff and kind of hope they were like that. Christianity is the selective filtering of some ancient stories from an uneducated diseased fearful superstitious population of people who rarely lived past 35, warped to suit the morality and power structure of a succession of morally dubious civilisations in which the ones with the big hats claiming to know more about what 'god' thinks are invariably FAR more like the self righteous fat ruling class who had Jeebs nailed up. If that actually happened. I mean , if Jeebs was real enough to drive a nail through - they certainly nailed up thousands in that time.

I mean what about the pope/nuns/monks/water into wine etc etc? That's not in the bible. People add, and remove, whatever they want to suit their purpose. They don't seem to be afraid of retribution for it, so either they have a HUGE ego (god will agree with me!) or they don't really believe in any of that shit. The pope sure as hell doesn't, or he'd clean up the Vatican bank sharpish.

Shiny may be bonkers but at least he's not wearing a silly hat in a golden city tricked from the poor and desperate, shouting at Africans that the fantasy god he has violently imposed on them will hate them for using Jonnies to stop Aids.



>> ^hpqp:

Well considering that the Jeebs is probably a fictional character altogether , it's not surprising that there is differences between the ways different authors imagined him to be.

Agreed. But it's equally possible these folks are biblically illiterate and therefore don't get the joke.

>> ^nanrod:

Would have been better if he actually looked like Jesus instead of some guy in a bad wig.

>> ^mizila:

>> ^honkeytonk73:
The ability to send a robotic spaceship to collect scientific data billions of miles from Earth is insignificant, next to the magical powers of Jesus. Water to wine... see if Nasa can do that!

What do you mean, "see if Nasa can do that!" ?? First you have to show me Jesus doing that.


The ability to detect the helio-pause is insignificant, next to the power of invisible magical sky beings....... your lack of faith is disturbing .....

>> ^honkeytonk73:

The ability to send a robotic spaceship to collect scientific data billions of miles from Earth is insignificant, next to the magical powers of Jesus. Water to wine... see if Nasa can do that!


What do you mean, "see if Nasa can do that!" ?? First you have to show me Jesus doing that.

>> ^honkeytonk73:

The ability to send a robotic spaceship to collect scientific data billions of miles from Earth is insignificant, next to the magical powers of Jesus. Water to wine... see if Nasa can do that!


Careful dude, ShinyBlurry will want to mate with you.



After a respectful engagement and devout nuptial ceremony, of course.

The ability to send a robotic spaceship to collect scientific data billions of miles from Earth is insignificant, next to the magical powers of Jesus. Water to wine... see if Nasa can do that!

If I could drum as well as this guy does, I damn well better get some upvotes because that would be like turning water into wine.

Jesus, I am overjoyed to meet you face to face.
You've been getting quite a name all around the place.
Healing cripples, raising from the dead.
And now I understand you're God,
At least, that's what you've said.
So, you are the Christ, you're the great Jesus Christ.
Prove to me that you're divine; change my water into wine.
That's all you need do, then I'll know it's all true.
Come on, King of the Jews.
Jesus, you just won't believe the hit you've made around here.
You are all we talk about, the wonder of the year.
Oh what a pity if it's all a lie.
Still, I'm sure that you can rock the cynics if you tried.
So, you are the Christ, you're the great Jesus Christ.
Prove to me that you're no fool; walk across my swimming pool.
If you do that for me, then I'll let you go free.
Come on, King of the Jews.
I only ask what I'd ask any superstar.
What is it that you have got that puts you where you are.
I am waiting, yes I'm a captive fan.
I'm dying to be shown that you are not just any man.
So, if you are the Christ, yes the great Jesus Christ
Feed my household with this bread.
You can do it on your head.
Or has something gone wrong. Jesus, why do you take so long?
Oh come on, King of the Jews.
Hey! Aren't you scared of me Christ?
Mr. Wonderful Christ?
You're a joke. You're not the Lord.
You are nothing but a fraud.
Take him away.
He's got nothing to say!
Get out you King of the,
Get out King of the,
Oh get out you King of the Jews!
Get out of here!
Get out of here you,
Get out of my life.

Where is this magic lady who brings forth beer from nothingness and doesn't charge for it? She could give Jesus and the whole water-to-wine thing a run for his money.

Jesus was looking a little woozy after falling off the cross.

This would be an appropriate place for a joke about healing himself or turning too much water into wine.
But that might be considered offensive, so I'll refrain.