@newtboy
i know man and got respect for your position.
have many friends who feel exactly the way you do.
so im not hating.

i have sacrificed much to hold fast to my conviction.
i deal mostly in cash or barter.
i do not and will never have a credit card,nor a bank account.
i drive "illegally" ,though it is rare,because i refuse to subscribe to mandatory insurance.or any form of insurance for that matter,mandatory or not.
i treat opiate addicts for free and give them a place to stay because the clinics (state run and corporate) have a zero tolerance policy.they pee dirty ONCE,for anything and they get booted.so i take them in.

this one,in particular,gets me into some serious trouble with the authorities at the local addiction a.k.a methadone pill-mill.they turn me in at least once a year.the baliffs at the courthouse know me by name.

i get in trouble at tax time because i dont file.my business is not income driven but rather "donation" driven.so...suck it county clerk!

i do work at a friends restaurant as a bartender/waiter and thats on the books,but thats mostly for my child support.

all this has been hard on my family,well,my boys mainly.while they were growing up i didnt have a lot of extra resources,but they turned out pretty damn good.

simply put(me?simple?ha!)
my faith dictates my politics.

It's sad the lengths a waiter has to go to get a decent tip nowadays.

It might seem crazy, wearing stripes and plaid
I instagram every meal I've had
All my used liquor bottles are on display
We can go to see a show but I'll make you pay

(Because I'm Tacky)
Wear my belt with suspenders and sandals with my socks
(Because I'm Tacky)
Got some new glitter ugs and lovely pink sequined crocs
(Because I'm Tacky)
Never let you forget some favor I did for you
(Because I'm Tacky)
If you're okay with that, then, you might just be tacky, too

I meet some chick, ask her this and that
Like are you pregnant girl, or just really fat? (What?)
Well, now I’m dropping names almost constantly
That's what Kanye West keeps telling me, here's why

(Because I'm Tacky)
Wear my Ed Hardy shirt with fluorescent orange pants
(Because I'm Tacky)
Got my new resume it's printed in Comic Sans
(Because I'm Tacky)
Think it’s fun threatening waiters with a bad Yelp review
(Because I'm Tacky)
If you think that's just fine, then, you're probably tacky, too

Bring me shame, can't nothing
Bring me shame, can never know why
Bring me shame, can't nothing
Bring me shame, I said
Bring me shame, can't nothing
Bring me shame, it's pointless to try
Bring me shame, can't nothing
Bring me shame, I said

(Because I'm Tacky)
43 Bumper Stickers and a "YOLO" license plate
(Because I'm Tacky)
Bring along my coupon book whenever I'm on a date
(Because I'm Tacky)
Practice my twerking moves in line at the DMV
(Because I'm Tacky)
Took the whole bowl of restaurant mints. Hey, it said they're free
(Because I'm Tacky)
I get drunk at the bank
And take off my shirt, at least
(Because I'm Tacky)
I would live-tweet a funeral, take selfies with the deceased
(Because I'm Tacky)
If I’m bitten by a zombie, I’m probably not telling you
(Because I'm Tacky)
If you don't think that's bad, guess what, then you're tacky, too

Love the waiter who instantly took off running, presumably to get a replacement bottle.

*dead


Oh,
Well imagine,
As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,
And I can't help but to hear,
No, I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words:
"What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter,
"And, yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore."

I chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality.
I chime in,
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of...

Well in fact,
Well I'll look at it this way,
I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast
So, pour the champagne
Oh! Well in fact,
Well I'll look at it this way,
I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast,
So, pour the champagne, pour the champagne

I chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality.
I chime in,
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality again.

I chime in,
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality.
I chime in,
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality again.

@Fairbs
that actually was being criminally done when i worked in miami.a few waiters had been busted using a "swiper" which captured your info.if i remember correctly (this was in the 90's) the swiper would hold hundreds of accounts.they would then sell the nimbers (by "swiping" and rinse and repeat.

i remember being extremely offended at the time because there is an implied trust between a customer and the waiter.people gave me their cards all the time,essentially handing me what could possibly be thousands of dollars in credit.i found the whole idea of what they were doing despicable.

One flaw I can see is an unscrupulous waiter could card swipe your info and then go to the next card swipe that etc... Thereby capturing all of your various cards quickly.

Pretty cool technology. Wish I would have thought of it dagnabbit.

That's nice.

Federal minimum wage is $7.25, so unless those waiters are working on an Indian reservation, they aren't making just $2.13 an hour.

If you can afford to go out and eat you surely can afford to tip your waiters and waitresses well. -rant

...and good song btw.

Me: Yes, I'd like to order the strawberry balloon for dessert.
Waiter: Right away. That will be right up in about 14 hours.

Was in a little cafe in Koyasan, Japan a few years back with the family. The waiter brought out a plate of fried potatoes saying it was 'service' (free) We tucked in, grateful for the extra snack, only to hear behind us, a couple of older locals saying, "Gee those foreigners love their fried potatoes". We chuckled to ourselves. We'd actually ordered the Japanese style dim sums.

waiter, a plate of congo rats for @Lann, please! on me

So... why was he holding a mic while working as a waiter?

It's Morris code.




Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waiter.

>> ^Fletch:

>> ^MrFisk:
Waitresses never tip the kitchen.

My first job ever was as a busboy/dishwasher at a French restaurant. Waiters and waitresses all tipped the kitchen. Not a lot, but an extra ten, fifteen bucks a night was pretty awesome when I was 15.


I worked as a busboy at a casino buffet for a short time in between jobs (worst job ever btw). I guess because it was a buffet or a casino or both, but the waitresses had to pool tips and share a percentage with the other staff. Waitresses there also made minimum wage like everyone else, unlike at restaurants that pay lower wages to waitresses.