True Facts About The Tapir - zefrank has been added as a related post - related requested by Trancecoach.

*related=http://videosift.com/video/True-Facts-About-The-Tapir-zefrank

That tapir swatted gnats off his back with his schlong-Never saw that one on the telly....

Tapir don't care. Tapir don't give a shit.

Two more fun facts about Tapirs (and yes, these are scientifically accurate):
1) Tapirs can spray urine for several meters and are notorious for urinating on people.
2) Tapirs are usually quite docile, but have a viscous bite which can easily do enough damage to kill a human.

Seriously, what was God thinking when he made the Tapir? I think he lost some sort of bet...

Glad they go it all on tapir for everyone to see.

This is way better than that "Tapir rapes Lara Logan" vid.

This video delivered all of my RDI of happy tapir...

I already knew that. Marine biology in high school. Barnacles are stuck to the rocks so they have long prehensile penises that can go off exploring for other barnacles.

>> ^Opus_Moderandi:
>> ^Drachen_Jager:
He's wrong about Tapirs. They may have the largest penis/body size ratio of any MAMMAL but barnicles have them beat hands down for ANIMALS.
"Barnacles have the largest penis to body size ratio of the animal kingdom" - Wikipedia

Why would you investigate that?

>> ^Drachen_Jager:
He's wrong about Tapirs. They may have the largest penis/body size ratio of any MAMMAL but barnicles have them beat hands down for ANIMALS.
"Barnacles have the largest penis to body size ratio of the animal kingdom" - Wikipedia


Why would you investigate that?

He's wrong about Tapirs. They may have the largest penis/body size ratio of any MAMMAL but barnicles have them beat hands down for ANIMALS.

"Barnacles have the largest penis to body size ratio of the animal kingdom" - Wikipedia

Don't forget that American Indians (or the "Lamanites," as they are called in the Book of Mormon) were also cursed by God, but once they convert to Mormonism their skin will become white and delightsome.

And don't forget that the American Indians/Lamanites rode horses as early as 600 BC, even though horses didn't exist in pre-Columbian America. To explain this fallacy the Mormons have tried to claim that the "horses" they rode must have actually been tapirs. The Indian warriors riding their tapir steeds must have looked something like this.

a newborn Tapir.

The following dissertation on the eye is lifted from Chapter VI, Volume 2 of The Quest for Right, a 7-book series on origins based on physical science:

Difficulties of the Theory. Although the eye is chosen as the category to be entertained, the investigation could have chosen any one of a hundred other theories promoted in On the Origin of Species. The relative point is that, if the eye had evolved through fine graduations or modifications, the proof must lie with numerous intermediate fossilized specimens which could be laid down in a gradual continuum so as to show the development of the eye from its first appearance as a tiny break or opening in the bones of the skull to the development of a full blown socket or orbit. Nothing else will suffice, as the fossil record is all inclusive.

Darwin penned: “LONG before having arrived at this part of my work, a crowd of difficulties will have occurred to the reader. Some of them are so grave that to this day I can never reflect on them without being staggered; but, to the best of my judgment, the greater number are only apparent, and those that are real are not, I think, fatal to my theory.” In other words, if one is to believe in evolution, he/she has to disregard the facts; specifically, the indisputable assertion that all species are well defined in the fossil record.

Darwin continued: “These difficulties and objections may be classed under the following heads [that is, distinct topics or categories]: …why, if species have descended from other species by insensibly fine gradations, do we not everywhere see innumerable transitional forms [in the fossil record]? Why is not all nature in confusion instead of the species being, as we see them, well defined? …In looking for the gradations by which an organ in any species has been perfected [for example, the eye], we ought to look exclusively to its lineal ancestors [found only in the fossil record]; but this is scarcely ever possible, and we are forced in each case to look to species of the same group, that is to the collateral [parallel] descendants from the same original parent-form, in order to see what gradations are possible, and for the chance of some gradations having been transmitted from the earlier stages of descent, in an unaltered or little altered condition.”

Unable to find a transitional species; for instance, discovering a tiny break in the skull of any one of the several thousand species, which transitioned through minute variations to a full blown socket for the eye, Darwin looked to parallel descendents: a horse descending from a tapir, etc.

By Darwin’s own admission, geologists had not been unable to uncover a transitional species: “Amongst existing Vertebrata, we find but a small amount of gradation in the structure of the eye, and from fossil species we can learn nothing on this head [the subject of the evolution of the eye]. In this great class we should probably have to descend far beneath the lowest known fossiliferous [containing fossils] stratum to discover the earlier stages, by which the eye has been perfected…

He [the reader] who will go thus far, if he find on finishing this treatise that large bodies of facts, otherwise inexplicable, can be explained by the theory of descent, ought not to hesitate to go further, and to admit that a structure even as perfect as the eye of an eagle might be formed by natural selection, although in this case he does not know any of the transitional grades [as supported by the fossil record]. His reason ought to conquer his imagination [that is, belief in a Creator]; though I have felt the difficulty far too keenly to be surprised at any degree of hesitation in extending the principle of natural selection to such startling lengths.

If it could be demonstrated that any complex organ existed, which could not possibly have been formed by numerous, successive, slight modifications, my theory would absolutely break down. But I can find out no such case...”

It is a fact that Darwin attempted to overcome legitimate objections to his theory by doing a song and dance; that is, an elaborate explanation intended to mislead the reader and throw him/her off the path of the truth. For instance, instead of Darwin elaborating on how the eye could have been perfected while leaving no trace in the fossil record, he immediately began rambling about: the larva of the dragon-fly, the fish Cobites, fish with gills, swimbladder in fishes, branchiae and dorsal scales of Annelids, wings and wing-covers of insects, Pedunculated cirripedes, Balanidae or sessile cirripedes, neuter insects, rays, electric organs in fish, tail of the giraffe, the tail as the organ of locomotion in most aquatic animals, green woodpeckers, trailing bamboo, naked head on the skin of a vulture, savages, webbed feet of the upland goose, seal, sting of the bee, etc. The introduction of trivia, thrown up to block a difficult question, was a familiar song and dance routine throughout The Origin.

Darwin depended on the fact that, after taking two dozen or so detours of unrelated, yet, interesting tidbits of information the reader will have forgotten the head or category at hand. Said tidbits were also introduced in an attempt to prove that his wisdom could be trusted even above that of the Creator. And lest you have forgotten the head category at hand, it is mainly this: numerous intermediate fossil specimens must be discovered and laid down in a gradual continuum so as to show the development of the eye from its first appearance as a tiny break or opening in the bones of the skull to the development of a full blown socket or orbit. Anything less would be unacceptable.

In Chapter X: On The Geological Succession of Organic Beings, Darwin attempted to justify the lack of “numberless transitional links” found in the “same great formation.” The naturalist lamented that the lack of missing links to prove his theory was owing to an “extremely imperfect” fossil record:

1. that only a small portion of the globe has been geologically explored with care;
2. that only certain classes of organic beings have been largely preserved in a fossil state;
3. that the number both of specimens and of species, preserved in our museums, is absolutely as nothing compared with the incalculable number of generations which must have passed away even during a single formation.”

Not desiring to be outmaneuvered by the Creator, Darwin attempted to interplay other theories to shore up his theory of evolution. For example, he called upon the important part that migration must have played as the various species escaped supposedly "oscillating continents" which arose from the depths of the sea only to sink again. In Darwin’s mind, vast continents bobbed up in down in the oceans, sinking and, thus, causing mass migrations and covering any transitional links with sediment. The drowned continents then bobbed back to the top to start the process all over again. In a final attempt at one-upmanship, Darwin supposed that the damaging missing links, which must number in the billions, may "lie buried under the ocean." Why else could they not be found in the fossil record to support his theory?

An arrogant Darwin showed his true colors when he suggested that the reader ought to strive to cast down a belief in a Creator and accept his theory even if there was no proof. Darwin had done just that; he had cast God and religion from his mind, stating that “it was as difficult to cast down as "for a monkey to throw off its instinctive fear and hatred of a snake."

In summary, Darwin conceded that the fossil record of the time, the ultimate guide by which the theory of protracted graduation was to be judged, was adverse to his concept, but not without just cause: it was simply the result of an "imperfect," or incomplete, record. Darwin used the term “imperfect” as a crutch over a dozen times—one grows weary of reading it. Darwin's only hope of vindication was that one day intermediate links would be discovered.

Note: Every fossilized skull that has ever been unearthed possessed sockets for the eyes; there is no exception. Any trip to a museum proves the point.