*promote the return of the King!

I only counted one ending in The Return of the King. They even put "THE END" up on screen. There was definitely only one ending.

>> ^jmzero:

I agree with Jack, Return of the King needed about a half hour cut off the end (or, alternatively, they needed to cleanse the shire).


TBF, more the fault of the books than the movies.

I agree with Jack, Return of the King needed about a half hour cut off the end (or, alternatively, they needed to cleanse the shire).

Also, it's important to check out the Youtube comments and the video uploader's description. If you did that, you'd know his non-dying performances outweigh his dying performances. Someone did all that work and now you don't need to: http://www.compleatseanbean.com/deathbycow.html

HE DIES IN:
Airborne - bye bye Toombs
Caravaggio - Rannuccio gets his throat slashed
Clarissa - Lovelace is skewered by Sean Pertwee
Don't Say a Word - Patrick Koster is buried alive
Equilibrium - Death by Poetry - Partridge is blasted away by Christian Bale while reading Yeats
Essex Boys - Jason Locke meets a nasty end in a Range Rover
Far North - Loki is frozen. Naked. In the snow. A chilling end if there ever was one.
The Field - the infamous Death by Cow - Tadgh falls over a cliff, pursued by a herd of stampeding cows
GoldenEye - Alec Trevelyan falls a long way down and is crushed by a satellite dish thing
Henry VIII - Robert Aske meets a gruesome end
The Island - Death by Clone. Merrick is shot in the throat by a nasty grabber thingy with a sharp
hook and a cable that gets wrapped around his neck, and while he's struggling with Lincoln
Six-Echo, the catwalk they're on collapses, and Merrick ends up dangling by the neck. Currently
the most creative dispatch of Sean's career. Definitely well hung.
The Lord of the Rings (The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King) - Death
by Orc. Boromir. Arrows. Need I say more?
Lorna Doone - Carver Doone drowns
Outlaw - Dead Dead Dead. Was there ever any question? Dead.
Patriot Games - Sean Miller is beaten up, boathooked and finally blown up by Harrison Ford
Scarlett - Lord Fenton is dispatched
Tell Me That You Love Me - Gabriel Lewis is stabbed by Laura. Or he stabs himself. We're not
quite sure about this one, actually.
The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion - Death by summoning a god's avatar. Martin Septim (the son of the Emperor, aka The Lost Heir) meets his X-Box end when he attempts to save the world.
The Hitcher - Surely you jest. You need to ask? (There were two different versions filmed. He dies
in both of them.)
War Requiem - The German Soldier dies, but returns in the afterlife


HE LIVES IN:
(Leo Tolstoy's) Anna Karenina
A Woman's Guide to Adultery
The Big Empty
The Bill
Black Beauty
Bravo Two Zero
Exploits at West Poley
Extremely Dangerous
Faceless
The Fifteen Streets
Flightplan
Fool's Gold
How to Get Ahead in Advertising
In the Border Country
Inspector Morse: Absolute Conviction
Jacob
Lady Chatterley
The Loser
My Kingdom for a Horse
National Treasure (But only because of a rewrite. In an early version
of the the script Ian Howe got eaten by alligators in the subways of
New York. Really. Honest. I wouldn't lie to you. I wouldn't.)
North Country
Percy Jackson (Zeus is more or less an immortal so death seems a bit
redundant, really...)
The Practice
Pride
Prince
Punters
Ronin
Samson & Delilah
Sharpe (14 films)
Sharpe's Challenge
Shopping
Silent Hill
Small Zones
Stormy Monday
Tom & Thomas
Troubles
The Canterbury Tales - The Nun's Priest's Tale
The Dark
The True Bride
The Vicar of Dibley
Troy
Wedded
When Saturday Comes
Windprints
Winter Flight

Major Theatrical Performances:
Macbeth ... Yes. He dies. And gets his head impaled on a spike.
Romeo & Juliet... What do you think?
Fair Maid of the West ... Spencer doesn't die!

>> ^ChaosEngine:

>> ^criticalthud:
does anyone else think peter jackson made a soggy mess out of LOTR?

Well, to be fair the source material is a bit soggy to start with. Don't get me wrong, I love the books, but they do have a lot of padding (Tom Bombadil, the battle of the Shire) that the movies wisely cut. Also the pacing in the movies is better. PJ was clever in moving the encounter with Shelob to the third movie as Sam and Frodo really don't have a lot do in book six.
As for the film version, it had moments of absolute brilliance. Theodren's speech before the battle of pellanor fields still gives me goosebumps. I watched Return of the King at an outdoor cinema and half the audience stood up and cheered at that scene.


yeah you're right. lots of singing too..
hard for any movie to live up to such colossal and subjective expectations. but fuck me sideways if staring into frodo's eyes for the gazillionth time wasn't somewhat suckingly annoying. ahh...i'm such a nitpicky dick

>> ^criticalthud:

does anyone else think peter jackson made a soggy mess out of LOTR?


Well, to be fair the source material is a bit soggy to start with. Don't get me wrong, I love the books, but they do have a lot of padding (Tom Bombadil, the battle of the Shire) that the movies wisely cut. Also the pacing in the movies is better. PJ was clever in moving the encounter with Shelob to the third movie as Sam and Frodo really don't have a lot do in book six.

As for the film version, it had moments of absolute brilliance. Theodren's speech before the battle of pellanor fields still gives me goosebumps. I watched Return of the King at an outdoor cinema and half the audience stood up and cheered at that scene.

Shelley Duvall and the Mouth of Sauron from the deleted scenes of The Return of the King... separated at birth? You decide!

>> ^schlub:

>> ^ant:
>> ^schlub:
Completely un-funny.

Agreed. Why didn't you downvote?

Haven't earned the million or so points necessary to be able to downvote so I hope people will up-vote my "i don't like it" comments


Interesting and weird. When you do get that access, then downvote.

>> ^ant:

>> ^schlub:
Completely un-funny.

Agreed. Why didn't you downvote?


Haven't earned the million or so points necessary to be able to downvote so I hope people will up-vote my "i don't like it" comments

>> ^schlub:

Completely un-funny.


Agreed. Why didn't you downvote?

>> ^schlub:

Completely un-funny.


http://videosift.com/video/Yeah-well-that-s-just-like-your-opinion-man

this guy reminds me of MLK from The Boondocks" Return of the King episode:

Martin Luther King:
Is this it?
This is what I got all those ass-whoopings for?
I had a dream once.
It was a dream that little black boys and little black girls would drink from the river of prosperity, freed from the thirst of oppression.
But lo and behold, some four decades later, what have I found but a bunch of trifling, shiftless, good-for-nothing niggers?
And I know some of you don't want to hear me say that word.
It's the ugliest word in the English language, but that's what I see now: niggers.
And you don't want to be a nigger, 'cause niggers are living contradictions!
Niggers are full of unfulfilled ambitions!
Niggers wax and wane, niggers love to complain!
Niggers love to hear themselves talk but hate to explain!
Niggers love being another man's judge and jury!
Niggers procrastinate until it's time to worry!
Niggers love to be late, niggers hate to hurry!
Black Entertainment Television is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life!
Usher, "Michael Jackson" is *not* a genre of music!
And now I'd like to talk about "Soul Plane".
I've seen what's around the corner, I've seen what's over the horizon, and I promise you, you niggers won't have nothing to celebrate.
And no, I won't get there with you.
I'm going to Canada.

I'm gonna promote this very soon.. it's awesome!
From the youtube desciption:
FILMS:

00:00 Little shop of horrors
00:14 The Thing
00:16 Jurassic Park/ Poltergeist/ King Kong (1933)/ The return of the Jedi/ Aliens (Cameron)
00:17 Alien (Scott)
00:19 Jaws
00:20 King Kong (1933)
00:22 Ghostbusters
00:24 Godzilla, King of the Monsters (1956)
00:26 The Fellowship of the Ring
00:27 Anaconda
00:28 An American werewolf in London
00:29 Clash of the Titans
00:31 Beowulf
00:32 Ghostbusters
00:34 Dragonslayer
00:36 Predator
00:38 Alien (Scott)
00:40 Dune
00:42 Gremlins
00:44 The Fellowship of the Ring
00:46 Pan's Labyrinth
00:47 Clash of the Titans
00:49 Aliens (Cameron)
00:51 Beetlejuice
00:53 King Kong (1933)
00:55 Jurassic Park
00:56 Godzilla, King of the Monsters (1956)
00:59 Jurassic Park
00:59-01:00 Critters
01:01 Dragonslayer
01:03 Willow
01:05 Them!
01:07 Starship Troopers
01:08 Men in Black
01:09 Arachnophobia
01:10 Jaws
01:11 Tremors
01:12 The Empire strikes back
01:13 Beowulf
01:14 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
01:15 The Return of the Jedi
01:16 Dragonslayer
01:18 Gremlins
01:20 The Host
01:21 Ghostbusters
01:22 Bram Stoker's Dracula
01:23 Gremlins 2
01:24 King Kong (2005)
01:25 Tremors
01:26 Aliens (Cameron)
01:27 The Empire strikes back
01:27 Clash of the Titans
01:28 Hellboy
01:29 Lake Placid
01:30 The Fellowship of the Ring
01:31 An American werewolf in London
01:32 Alien (Scott)
01:33 From Dusk till Dawn
01:34 Krull
01:35 Jason and the Argonauts
01:36 Little Shop of Horrors
01:37 The Army of Darkness
01:38 The Fellowship of the Ring
01:39 Time Machine
01:40 The Attack of the Clones
01:41 Howard the Duck
01:43 End of days
01:44 Aliens (Cameron)
01:45 The Attack of the Clones
01:46 Jurassic Park
01:47 Clash of the Titans
01:48 The Relic
01:49 Pitch Black
01:49 Resident Evil
01:50 The Princess Bride
01:51 Beetlejuice
01:52 Jurassic Park
01:52 Ghostbusters
01:53 Evolution
01:54 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
01:55 Gremlins 2
01:55 Ewok adventure
01:56 Ghostbusters
01:57 Anaconda
01:58 Creature from the Black Lagoon
01:58 Starship Troopers
01:59 The Return of the King
02:00 The Fellowship of the Ring
02:01 The Blob (1988)
02:02 King Kong (2005)
02:03 Deep rising
02:04 Mimic
02:05 Little Shop of Horrors
02:06 Mars Attacks!
02:07 King Kong (2005)
02:08 Cloverfield
02:09 20000 leagues under the sea (1954)
02:10 Aliens (Cameron)
02:11 Beetlejuice
02:11 Anaconda
02:12 Bram Stoker's Dracula
02:12 Doom
02:13 Independence Day
02:14 Jeepers Creepers 2
02:14 Lake Placid
02:15 Clash of the Titans
02:15 An American werewolf in London
02:16 Cat people
02:17 Evil Dead 2
02:17 The Thing
02:18 The Fly (1986)
02:19 The Blob (1988)
02:20 The Thing
02:21 Legend
02:22 The Twilight Zone
02:23 Aliens (Cameron)
02:24 The Twilight Zone
02:24 Evil Dead II
02:25 The Descent
02:26 Poltergeist
02:27 Aliens (Cameron)
02:28 Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
02:29 Beowulf
02:29 Jaws
02:30 The Return of the King
02:30 Deep Rising
02:31 The Faculty
02:32 The Host
02:33 Anaconda
02:36 Evolution
02:38 Cloverfield
02:40 Godzilla
02:41 The Two Towers
02:42 Cloverfield
02:43 Beowulf
02:45 King Kong (1933)
02:46 Howard the Duck
02:48 The Host
02:49 Jaws
02:51 The Return of the Jedi
02:53 Jurassic Park
02:55 Men in Black
02:56 Willow
02:58 King Kong (2005)
02:59 Deep Rising
03:01 Anaconda
03:02 Little Shop of Horros
03:05 Cloverfield

No wonder Peter Jackson chose a funnel spider as the basis for how Shelob would look and act in The Return of the King. That thing is just freaky.