Lyrics in case you want to sing along

Run them jewels fast, run them, run them jewels fast
Run them, run them, r-run them, run them, fuck the slow mo

Fashion slave, you protestin' to get in a fuckin' look book
Everything I scribble's like The Anarchist Cookbook
(Look good, posing in a centerfold of Crook Book)
Black on black on black with a ski mask, that is my crook look
How you like my stylin', bruh? Ain't nobody stylin', bruh
'Bout to turn this mothafucka up like Riker's Island, bruh
Where my thuggers and my cripples and my blooders and my brothers?
When you niggas gon' unite and kill the police, mothafuckas?
Or take over a jail, give those COs hell
The burnin' of the sulfur, God damn I love the smell
Blankets and pillow torchin', where the fuck the warden?
And when you find him, we don't kill him, we just waterboard him
We killin' 'em for freedom cause they tortured us for boredom
And even if some good ones die, fuck it, the Lord'll sort 'em

We out of order, your honor, you're out of order
This whole court is unimportant, you fuckers are walkin' corpses
I'm a flip wig synonym, livin' within distortion
I'll bite into a cyanide molar before you whores win
I'm a New Yorkian, I fuck for the jump
I wear my Yankee so tilted I actually walk with a hunch
Look at Mikey, I think he likey, we are sinister sons
(Aye, we the type to beat the preacher with a grin and a gun)

Run them jewels fast, run them, run them jewels fast
Run them, run them, r-run them, r-run them, run them, r-run them
Run them jewels fast, run them, run them jewels fast
Run them, run them, r-run them, r-run them, run them, r-run them

A wise man once said, ("We all dead, fuck it")
Just spit it disgusting youngin', and hold your nuts while you're gunnin'
I listened, tatted a sentence on my dick last summer
Now I'll never get that phrase off my brain, it's no wonder
I'm here to buy hearts, I got hundreds, honey
The cheaper the parts, the better buy for the money
I'm trained in vagina whisperin', glistenin'
Waitin' for their christenin', I know the neighbors can't help but listen in
A dirty boy who come down on a side of dissonance
I can't even relax without sirens off in the distances
Not shittin' you, little buddy, this fuckin' island's a prison
The only solace I have is the act of conjugal visitin'

My solitary condition's preventin' conjugal visits
Go mane and missin' my misses, they keepin' me from my children
Conditions create a villain, the villain is givin' vision
The vision becomes a vow to seek vengeance on all the vicious
Liars and politicians, profiteers of the prisons
The forehead engravers, enslavers of men and women
Includin' members of clergy that rule on you through religion
(So strippin' kids to the nude and then tell 'em God'll forgive 'em)

Run them jewels fast, run them, run them jewels fast
Run them, run them, r-run them, r-run them, run them, r-run them
Run them jewels fast, run them, run them jewels fast
Run them, run them, r-run them, r-run them, run them, r-run them

It's De La on the cut, liftin' 6 on your stitchy crew
I'm miles ahead of you, you can sip my bitches brew
My battle status is burnin' mansions from Dallas to Malibu
Check my résumé, your residence is residue
Call her a skin job and my honey dip'll backflip for you
You playin', God your eye sockets, she gon' rip in two
We sick of bleedin' out a trace, spray a victim, you
Done dyin', Phillip AK Dickin' you
With clips in the bottom, we dippin' from Gotham
Yes eclipsed by the shadows, a dark dance to the coffin
I'm a fellow with melanin, suspect of a felony
Ripped like Rakim Allah, feds is checkin' my melody
Yes aggressively tested we'll bump stretchers and penalties
Dump cases with face and the cop pleas when we seizing a pump
With reason to dump on you global grand dragons
Still pilin' fast, plus Afghani toe taggin'
Now they trackin' me and we bustin' back, see
The only thing that close quicker than our caskets be the factories

Run them jewels fast, run them, run them jewels fast
Run them, run them, r-run them, r-run them, run them, r-run them
Run them jewels fast, run them, run them jewels fast
Run them, run them, r-run them, r-run them, run them, r-run them

Congratulations! Your video, 2009 Chevy Malibu vs 1959 Bel Air Crash Test, has reached the #1 spot in the current Top 15 New Videos listing. This is a very difficult thing to accomplish but you managed to pull it off. For your contribution you have been awarded 2 Power Points.

This achievement has earned you your "Golden One" Level 4 Badge!

Seems to be a couple of dupes of this. This one is still alive:
https://videosift.com/video/1959-Bel-Air-vs-2009-Malibu-crash-test

And this one, the oldest, is dead:
https://videosift.com/video/SMASH-Crash-test-1959-Chevy-Bel-Air

Your video, 2009 Chevy Malibu vs 1959 Bel Air Crash Test, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

The closest test I know of is this 2009 Chevy Malibu vs a 1959 Chevy Bel Air. Spoiler, it doesn't go so well for the old car.

Congratulations! Your comment on Man Captures Mountain Side Collapsing in Malibu has just received enough votes from the community to earn you 1 Power Point. Thank you for your quality contribution to VideoSift.

Congratulations! Your video, Man Captures Mountain Side Collapsing in Malibu, has reached the #1 spot in the current Top 15 New Videos listing. This is a very difficult thing to accomplish but you managed to pull it off. For your contribution you have been awarded 2 Power Points.

This achievement has earned you your "Golden One" Level 4 Badge!

Your video, Man Captures Mountain Side Collapsing in Malibu, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

This achievement has earned you your "Pop Star" Level 3 Badge!

Sure, but I drive a Bronco with a full roll cage....not a bel air. I would crush that bel air too, and the Malibu. Bronco's are tough enough to do both, they have a thick full tube frame and heavy metal body, not a weakened C-channel or less covered in plastic. Mine has a >300lb industrial steel bumper as well.
My other car is a 73 CJ-5, also with full roll cage and with 4 point seat belts, that is tall enough to drive right over both of those cars or, if not, turn them into convertibles. ;-)

So yeah, I still think I'll do WAY better in a crash than an average new car.

http://videosift.com/video/1959-Bel-Air-vs-2009-Malibu-crash-test

Crumple-zones (and other safety engineering) can be the difference between life and death.

And most crash tests (and star ratings) aren't for highway speeds.
http://www.iihs.org/iihs/ratings/ratings-info/frontal-crash-tests
so 40 mph and 35 mph. If you go up to 55,65,75 mph the difference in kinetic energy is exponentially higher (K=0.5mv^2)

there might have been a mythbusters episode about this...can't remember the result though.

Actually, this is true, but it's also only one of the recall items that GM has issued Recalls for this year.

"It recalled 8,208 of its 2014 cars on May 7, for example, because they might have rear brakes on the front wheels."

"GM says it has informed regulators about two more recalls imminent but not yet announced. The latest batch includes safety belt, air bag, transmission and electrical issues in a range of midsize sedans, full-size crossovers and SUVs, and pickups."


GM's U.S. recalls this year

Below are General Motors' recall of vehicles in the U.S. since Jan. 1

Date, no. of U.S. vehicles, models affected, recall defect

- Jan. 13: 324,970 of the 2014 Chevrolet Silverado and 2014 GMC Sierra for overheated exhaust parts

- Feb. 7 and 25: 1,367,146 of the 2005-07 Chevrolet Cobalt, 2006-07 Chevrolet HHR, 2005-07 Pontiac G5, 2006-07 Pontiac Solstice, 2003-07 Saturn ION, 2007 Saturn Sky, 2007 Opel GT, 2007 Daewoo G2X for ignition switch

- Feb 20: 355 of the 2014 Buick Enclave, LaCrosse, Regal and Verano; 2014 Chevrolet Cruze, Impala, Malibu and Travers; 2014 GMC Acadia for transmission shift cable adjuster

- March 17: 63,903 of the 2013-14 Cadillac XTS for brake vacuum booster

- March 17: 303,013 of the 2009 Chevrolet Express and GMC Savana for airbag

- March 17: 1,178,407 of the 2008-13 Buick Enclave, 2008-13 Chevrolet Traverse, 2008-13 GMC Acadia, 2008-10 Saturn Outlook for airbag

- March 17: 656 of the Cadillac ELR for electronic brake control

- March 28: 823,788 of the 2008-11 Chevrolet HHR, 2008-10 Chevrolet Cobalt, 2008-10 Pontiac G5, 2008-10 Pontiac Solstice, 2008-10 Saturn Sky, 2008-10 Opel GT, 2008-09 Daewoo G2X for ignition switch

- March 28: 174,046 of the 2013-14 Chevrolet Cruze for front axle shaft

- March 28: 489, 936 of the 2014 Chevrolet Silverado, 2014 GMC Sierra, 2015 Chevrolet Tahoe and Suburban, 2014 GMC Yukon and Yukon XL for oil cooler fitting.

- March 31: 1,340,447 of the 2004-06 Chevrolet Malibu and Malibu Maxx, 2004-06 Pontiac G6, 2004-07 Saturn Ion, 2008-09 Chevrolet Malibu, 2008-09 Pontiac G6, 2008-09 Saturn Aura, 2010 Cobalt, 2009-10 Chevrolet HHR for electric power steering

- April 9: 2,191,014 of the 2005-10 Chevrolet Cobalt, 2006-11 Chevrolet HHR, 2007-10 Pontiac G5, 2006-10 Pontiac Solstice, 2003-07 Saturn ION, 2007-10 Saturn Sky for ignition key cylinder

- April 24: 50,571 of the 2013 Cadillac SRX for acceleration lag

- April 19: 23,249 of the 2009-10 Pontiac Vibe (built by Toyota) for air bags

- April 24: 51 of the 2015 Chevrolet Silverado HD and 2014 GMC Sierra HD for diesel transfer pump

- April 29: 51,640 of the 2014 Chevrolet Traverse, 2014 GMC Acadia and 2014 Buick Enclave for inaccurate fuel gauge

- April 29: 56,214 of the 2007-08 Saturn Aura for shift cable

- May 7: 8,208 of the 2014 Chevrolet Malibu and 2104 Buick Lacrosse for brake rotors

- May 14: 111,889 of the 2005-07 Corvette for headlight low beams

- May 14: 19,225 of the 2014 Cadillac CTS for windshield wipers

- May 14: 140,067 of the 2014 Malibu for brake boost

- May 14: 2,440,524 of the 2004-12 Chevrolet Malibu, 2004-07 Malibu Maxx, 2005-10 Pontiac G6 and 2007-10 Saturn Aura for brake lamps

- May 14: 477 of the 2014 Chevrolet Silverado and 2015 Chevrolet Tahoe for steering tie-rod

- May 16: 1,402 of the 2015 Cadillac Escalade for passenger air bag

- May 19: 1,339,355 of the 2009-10 Saturn Outlook, 2009-14 Chevrolet Traverse, 2009-14 GMC Acadia and 2009-14 Buick Enclave for front seat belts

- May 19: 58 of the 2015 Chevrolet Silverado HD and 2015 GMC Sierra HD for loose fuse block

- May 19: 1,075,102 of the 2004-08 Chevrolet Malibu and 2005-08 Pontiac G6 for shift cable (expands April 29 Saturn Aura recall)

Total 18,666,842
( http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/cars/2014/05/20/gm-recalls-fine-goverment/9329481/ )

Young, sexy people that live in Malibu call it The 'Bu, because when you say the entire word, it takes time, and then you wouldn't be young anymore.

Some of the highlights:
• At one point, the show interviews one of Hugh Hefner‘s ex-girlfriends holding a Carl’s Jr. cheeseburger because the burger chain sponsored this hot steaming pile of disaster.

• Macy Gray (remember her?!?!?!) dropped by to give what seems like a completely stoned performance of that song that won her a Grammy 12 friggin’ years ago.

• On multiple occasions, Kennedy and/or the show’s producers ask on a hot mic whether the show is currently live (hint: it was) while liberally peppering in some profanity for the sake of it. The first few seconds of one return from commercial break began with Kennedy on-stage looking around confusedly while off-camera voices asked “Where’s my stage manager?” and declared: “Don’t fucking give me shit.”

• The control room couldn’t seem to figure out how to press the right buttons and so interviews were cut off mid-sentence, camera shots sometimes never changed, random Carl’s Jr. ads ran during the middle of broadcast, and a video of Jamie Kennedy at a comedy club took about 10 seconds to load.

• One random woman in the crowd figured out how to read teleprompter behind co-host Stu Stone and mimicked his read for an entire two minutes. Sheer brilliance.

• Some guy dropped a big ol’ “motherfucker” live on-air.

• Oh hey, Bone Thugs-n-Harmony (remember THEM?!?!?!?!) must’ve time-traveled from the 1990s to perform a few songs, seemingly missing the memo about “not cursing on air,” because… umm… they cursed. A lot.

• Kennedy channels the 2003 film that made him relevant for 10 whole minutes — Malibu’s Most Wanted — and tries his best at hitting on a drunk black woman: “You should go white, because it’ll keep your vagina very tight.”

• The show ends with a spontaneous fight on-stage behind the hosts… and then silence as the credits roll. Perfection.

http://www.mediaite.com/tv/kdoc-los-angeles-had-the-most-spectacularly-disastrous-new-years-special-in-the-history-of-television/

>> ^bmacs27:

Drug dealer? Surf instructor? How does he eat?


>> ^deedub81:

http://www.indecisionforever.c
om/blog/2012/04/03/one-of-a-kind-candidate-hamish-patterson-city-council-malibu-ca


He mentions in some of his other vids that he's a 42-year old construction worker. With no health insurance. Which is why he holds back when he shreds at the skate park.

(No, I didn't make that up. Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-5f28qLhn0&feature=relmfu )

In reply to this comment by deedub81:
http://www.indecisionforever.c
om/blog/2012/04/03/one-of-a-kind-candidate-hamish-patterson-city-council-malibu-ca

WHAT??? ... LOL [I see he's ditched the bowl cut] =o)