http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/offbeat/handbag-heroine-granny-fights-off-sledgehammer-jewelry-store-robbers-ncxdc-020811

Apparently she thought that there was a fight not a robbery, and waded in to stop what she thought was a beating. Then she got really mad when she found out it was a robbery in broad daylight and all these people on the street stood around and just watched.

Sledgehammers. They were swinging sledgehammers. I would have watched, too.

The easy fix involves electromagnets in the floors? Can't say I'm surprised this is still a problem then.

Bolt + Table + Floor = Problem Solved. The chairs would still move around, but they'd hit into the tables like Plinko chips, and that would be even more fun to watch.>> ^Yogi:

This is such an easy fix...electro magnets under the floor with metal bottom'd tables and chairs. Have an emergency bottom that triggers the magnets. Sure you might get some people pinned with their cheap jewelry but at least they won't roll around.

>> ^Yogi:
This is such an easy fix...electro magnets under the floor with metal bottom'd tables and chairs. Have an emergency bottom that triggers the magnets. Sure you might get some people pinned with their cheap jewelry but at least they won't roll around.


Easier fix, the duty officer stops banging the female servers and turns the ship INTO the waves.

This is such an easy fix...electro magnets under the floor with metal bottom'd tables and chairs. Have an emergency bottom that triggers the magnets. Sure you might get some people pinned with their cheap jewelry but at least they won't roll around.

Thanks! Now, where's my complementary sifttalk post?!

In reply to this comment by gwiz665:
Congrats on the ruby! You deserve some jewelry.

Congrats on the ruby! You deserve some jewelry.

Haha, some black guys that caters to rednecks and rightwing GOP mouthbreathers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGfFSZ2kcRg

He looks to do anything for money. His website is very "white" worded, like a parody, almost like a Borat.

Internet personality “Jiggaboo Jones” of Las Vegas, who gave his real name yesterday as Nipsey Washington, said the Feb. 15 event drew about 250 people, including Filipinos, whites and African-Americans. He would not say where the party was held.....
...
Invitations posted on Facebook labeled the event the “Compton Cook Out” and included a photograph of Washington, a profane, self-styled comic. He said he has appeared at similar house parties in the San Diego area since 2005.

He said some partygoers at the recent event smeared black makeup on their faces and ate watermelon. Others donned baggy pants and gold-colored jewelry as part of a “ghetto” theme.

[redacted]

My wife and I didn't want to spend a ton of money on wedding jewelry, so we decided to go with Moissanite. Took her rings to a jeweler a few years ago to have them professionally cleaned, and they used an electronic diamond detector to confirm they were real. Imagine my surprise when we were told that they cleared as being real. When I told the jeweler they weren't diamonds, she couldn't believe it. I wonder if their scanner was a piece of junk, or if they really are that difficult to tell.

>> ^imstellar28:
Three men walk into a bar. Two go and find a seat while the other heads to the bar to buy the first round. As he approaches the barman, the barman can't help but notice how well-to-do this man looks. He is covered head to toe in the finest garments and jewelry, he is even wearing a crown, a monocle, and carrying a scepter. In short, all the trappings of a cartoon billionaire. As the bar man is pulling the pints he remarks to the gentlemen: "I hope you don't think I'm prying, but, I couldn't help but notice you seem pretty well off. How, may I ask did you come into such a fortune?"
the man replies:" Well, me and my friends over there found a genie in a beer bottle outside, and he granted us each a wish"
barman:"So, I take it you wished to be the richest man in the world"
The man puts one finger on his nose, and points at the barman with the other hand, as you would in a game of charades
barman:" Not a bad choice at all if i do say so"
The man nods politely, pays for the round and goes over to his friends
After a while, the second man goes up to the bar. This man is notable only insofar as he can barely be seen for all the beautiful woman draped around him, seemingly caressing every available inch of his body. He orders another round which the barman dutifully pulls. As he finishes off the last pint he can't help but comment: "I hope you don't mind me asking but, you are a friend of that wealthy gentlemen over there aren't you?"
"I am indeed" murmurs the man from beneath the pile of beauties.
"And you wished to be the most attractive man in the world"
"Pretty much, yeah"
"Excellent choice sir, enjoy your round" says the barman with the kind of knowing smile you tend to see on people vicariously appreciating the implied sexual exploits of a stranger. So he shuffles back to the table and him and his friends have their drinks. Not long later the third man approaches the bar and asks for another round. The barman cannot help but notice this man has an orange for a head. But he carries on pulling the pints in silence, until he cannot contain himself any longer and asks
"You found the genie too right?"
"That's correct" replies the man with an orange for a head.
"And what did you wish for, if you don't mind me asking?"
"I wished to have an orange for a head"


That's so funny I forgot to laugh!

(betcha neva herd dat)

Three men walk into a bar. Two go and find a seat while the other heads to the bar to buy the first round. As he approaches the barman, the barman can't help but notice how well-to-do this man looks. He is covered head to toe in the finest garments and jewelry, he is even wearing a crown, a monocle, and carrying a scepter. In short, all the trappings of a cartoon billionaire. As the bar man is pulling the pints he remarks to the gentlemen: "I hope you don't think I'm prying, but, I couldn't help but notice you seem pretty well off. How, may I ask did you come into such a fortune?"

the man replies:" Well, me and my friends over there found a genie in a beer bottle outside, and he granted us each a wish"

barman:"So, I take it you wished to be the richest man in the world"

The man puts one finger on his nose, and points at the barman with the other hand, as you would in a game of charades

barman:" Not a bad choice at all if i do say so"

The man nods politely, pays for the round and goes over to his friends

After a while, the second man goes up to the bar. This man is notable only insofar as he can barely be seen for all the beautiful woman draped around him, seemingly caressing every available inch of his body. He orders another round which the barman dutifully pulls. As he finishes off the last pint he can't help but comment: "I hope you don't mind me asking but, you are a friend of that wealthy gentlemen over there aren't you?"

"I am indeed" murmurs the man from beneath the pile of beauties.

"And you wished to be the most attractive man in the world"

"Pretty much, yeah"

"Excellent choice sir, enjoy your round" says the barman with the kind of knowing smile you tend to see on people vicariously appreciating the implied sexual exploits of a stranger. So he shuffles back to the table and him and his friends have their drinks. Not long later the third man approaches the bar and asks for another round. The barman cannot help but notice this man has an orange for a head. But he carries on pulling the pints in silence, until he cannot contain himself any longer and asks

"You found the genie too right?"

"That's correct" replies the man with an orange for a head.

"And what did you wish for, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I wished to have an orange for a head"

When I first heard that we were making fun of a Brazilian, I thought we were going to point and laugh at dag's crotch. Unfortunately, we're just roasting some nobody from Sector 7G. Or should I say Xavier's School for Mutants?

His favorite memory is "snowboarding or the birth of my daughter." Is it really that hard to decide between the two? I'd love to see you on a game show, deciding between the million dollars or a mentally-retarded cat that urinates on itself and howls at the ceiling.

God, I can tell this roast is going to be drier than peggedbea's vagina.

Speaking of pussies, where is blankfist in all of this? Probably off making another shitty movie with Uwe Boll and Adam Sandler. He's gone Hollywood (a.k.a. on his knees under Steven Spielberg's desk).

But enough about the child rapist. I guess I should get back to Wolverine's flamboyantly gay cousin.

Let's talk about your obsession with Sifty. It's unhealthy, and we all know you're just trying to get a ruby or diamond. God, girls will do anything for jewelry.

Enough of this shit. I've mocked enough people, and I'm tired of thinking of insults for someone who doesn't have a completely fucked up life. So until gwiz is roasted, I'm out of here.

rottenseed: putting a new spin on "diamonds are a girl's best friends" since 2009 ©.

I guess what I'm getting at is, enjoy your new shiny new jewelry. baby jesus knows you've earned it *wink wink*

You know, an upper middle class white lady would probably get a better (more honest) deal from jewelers and pawn shops. Did she shop around skid row, or upper manhattan?

Poorer, dumber, and less attractive people may not even get consideration at pawn shops and jewelry stores. Even with consideration they would probably get as good a deal as Cash4Gold. When I was poor and in college, I used pawnshops, and have witnessed that industry rip off many people. Those types of business people can smell blood in the water and would make appropriate lowball offers.

On the site mentioned at the end, they sell, among other things, "quantum jewelry", both level 1 and level 3. Maybe level 2 is still too secret to sell.