Who vids this goddamn flying rat mackin' a sammer instead of running in there, booting it like fucking Thor going for the point after, then tear-assin' back out before the goddamn thing hires Alfred Hitchcock's ghost to film a sequel to The Birds starring 50 kilos of seagull shit running down your face?

Warren Fucking Buffet, that's who.

Fox video? Well THERE'S an automatic up-vote. Also, I would have shot that bird with a 10,000 gigajoule ion cannon.

It's those flocking birds again

Since we live in the matrix, obviously the birds, arms, and guitars were all added digitally.
There is no bird.
There is no guitar.
There is only METAL!

Well I think the guitars are real but there's no such thing as birds so they were added digitally.

We all have valid opinions worth discussing and should be given equal airtime.

Or these birds as the Brits refer to when talking about the ladies

It's hard to teach birds to play guitar with their elusive hidden arms, but it can be done. These are faked, but you can still believe that somewhere are some REAL metal birds who can do it old style!

I think the guitars were added into the video digitally. The birds weren't actually holding them and playing them with their arms.

Y'know what? Seriously, fuck seagulls. I fucking hate seagulls. Y'know why? They're total cunts. You know why they're cunts? Because they're cunts. Seagulls are God's answer to "why do children get cancer?" God says, "Because fuck you, that's why! Here's a seagull, you asshole."
"Ohh, but they ate all the locusts and saved Salt Lake City!" people say. Fuck them, too. The only thing good that ever came outta SLC is Steve Young and he ended his career flat on his back and the Niners have sucked ever since. Except for Kap; we'll give 'em one for Kap. We totally woulda won that game if the other team hadn't been better. They can go fuck themselves, too.
Ok, check this out: I was walking on the beach near Pescadaro and eating this awesome fucking carne asada taco I got at the super-secret Mexican place in the gas station and it was fucking amazingly good. This is the kinda taco that if it was pussy, you'd marry it and not give a shit when it fucked your best friend and ran off to Vegas with all your money. Seriously, it was that good. And I'm eatin' this goddamn glorious taco and feeling like I'm on top of the world and all is right with the universe. Then a motherfucking seagull all Stuka-moves me and snatches my taco! I'm all, "DUDE!! That's hella my taco, BITCH!", but then I remembered that birds don't speak English so I was like "Fuck!"
Seriously, 'tho, that was totally a good taco and shit.
Fuck seagulls.

A bird to the face would be an interesting dynamic. Worse yet, a space laser!

Sorry to be the little grey raincloud on this Hate The Hedges party, but you might want to understand the implications of what just happened

Y'know that fund that's getting all attention, Melvin Capital? Yeah, fuck them, right? Fuckin' shorters all shortin' and shit -- they played, they paid!

There's a reason they were bailed out and with all due haste.

Here's the issue: they were VERY good at the shorting game. So good that they actually had to turn away business. They made money like horses makes shit. When clients couldn't get in at Melvin, they went elsewhere. That opened the door to a lot of other firms basically mirroring exactly what MC was doing, which included shorting the fuck outta GME.

Fuck those guys too, right? It's their money, so why should I care?

Let's go back a few year, shall we, to the glorious chapter in finance and economics that was the 2008 Crash. Remember when Paulson lost his shit because he realized that in about 36 hours, the basic system called Western Capitalism was going to shit the bed; the bedroom; the whole house and pretty much every surface above the ocean within a planetary radius? This is sorta like that. Only worse.

The thing about short squeezes is that the losses can be infinite, and that's exactly why WallStreetBets did what they did. They knew if they bought and held -- diamond hands -- the stock would have to rise as the shorters had to cover their bets. Melvin Capital and a shit-ton of other, smaller firms had to do that and ran out of liquidity long before GME was even at $50. For every share of stock they shorted, they need to cough up another share at a higher value -- and they HAD to actually have the higher-priced share.

And here's where things get VERY ugly.

Shorting GME was such a sure thing that a huge number of shorts were placed. In fact, more shares of GME were shorted than actually existed. Oops. But hey, SURE THING, BABY and what's the worst that can happen?

Yeeeah, y'see where this is going now?

So these firms, not only are they broke, they don't have the shares, either. They need to come up with shares, pronto, at any price, because contractual obligations are a motherfucker in the finance world. But again, more shorts than there are shares and the people who have the shares, WSB and 4chan's /biz/, aren't letting them go. The longer they hold, the higher the price will go as short after short faces having to cough up the shares they borrowed.

A lot of people are about to lose a LOT of money -- the kinda losses that have so many zeros attached that looking at the number bores the eyes.

Back to 2008: the reason the whole world almost started Mad Max LARPing back then is that a narrow number of highly-important financial institutions were a wee bit thin on liquidity because they were having to pay it out by the boatload. That's bad. What would be better is if risk were more distributed, and how could that little plan POSSIBLY go wrong? Maybe a Black Swan event involving a huge amount of money that needs to be paid out by all of them due to this annoying bird.

That's where we are now, but no one even remotely knows what that figure is going to be. Again, (potentially) infinite losses multiplied by 150% times the number of shares actually available, multiplied by the dogshit risk factor on the loans and the leveraged payouts -- your best case scenario might be a loss of about $500 billion. Someone has to come up with that money, be it the Fed or other banks/investors, but that latter group has to come up with the money themselves, which is generally accomplished by selling profitable holdings. We all know what happens when a lot of people have to sell, right?

I always wanted to live in interesting times, thus proving what an utter fuckwit I am.

Depending on the dance, the hoops can be used to mimic animals or birds or hunting or many other things, and according to the video the tradition dates back thousands of years. The other part of the video shows a more up to date take on the hoop dance and hip-hop.

Just my luck I'd be right in the path of descending jetliner with bird stuffed engines making an emergency water landing. At least I'd still be wearing my mask.