I married into an Asian family that run restaurants, are professional bakers, and wow, even the bad cooks can kick my ass in the kitchen. No one I've spoken to in her family has a problem with Panda Express style food ON OCCASION because the horse it's really high but it's so much more comfortable just enjoying food. Go eat a goddamn big mac, but before you take your first bite SAY OUT LOUD, "I'm just a dumb slut living on the planet earth. Eat fuck and shit motherfucker" and then eat the frelling burger. Frack you. It's good, bitch. Just stop lying to yourself, you food slut

And drink a Pabst. Hey. Asshole! Yeah YOU. Not me i know me bad but u worse so you, this I say: Go buy a 6 pack of non-lite budweiser, smoke some shitty weed out of an apple, and proclaim to the sky and no one in particular -- FUCK MY TRADITIONS AND FUCK MY AFFILIATIONS -- I will eat anything that my SLUT taste buds will enjoy. My brain may proclaim "But people and science says" -- SCIENCE and PEOPLE aren't your taste buds, bud(ette). Stop thinking what can create competition and power, the red queen effect its EVERYWHERE. When you think you're making conscious choices about your perception of food matter reacting with your taste buds, in reality your brain is making complex judgements on the world around it, cut throat and always seeking gain. You will seem to just "know" your tastes. Liar. You're competing with your surroundings. Points within time and space colliding and reacting. You don't know the difference between a tastey butt hole and the centerfold back cover of a Mad magazine.

Ok, but, don't always not think. Sometimes you must think and get vaccines and stuff. Do that. Eat orange chicken. Smoke weed. Drink a steel reserve once a month. Then go to a grocery store, buy a bunch of meat and vegetables, and FUCKING COOK BITCH. That's really the only lesson.

This is incorrect.
The correct way to cook the best bacon you will ever eat is as follows:


on a gas charcoal grill, place a few strips of bacon on the edge of the grill, as far as possible from the flames.

If the bacon is too close to the flames, the dripping fat will catch fire and burn the bacon. This is bad.

Cook the bacon for 15-20 minutes, keeping the grill covered for most of the time. check it every so often to make sure there are not flare ups. Flip the bacon at least once.

When the bacon is evenly brownish, it is done.




Alternatively, on a gas grill, place bacon on the warming rack above the food you are cooking. the bacon fat rendered out will drip on to the food below and impart it's magical piggy flavors into the other food.
This takes a lot longer, and there is increased chances for flare-ups, especially if the grill is not full of food. You need to keep an eye on this.