Rumors over Gwyneth Paltrow being punched in the face in the new Iron Man movie have piqued fans' interest. Analysts say the new movie could outperform original if Gwyneth gets slapped in the face just right.

posted by EDD 1 decade 4 years 7 months 2 weeks ago • 2,465 views

Congress hopes the Pornographic Media Concealment Act will ensure a lasting, respectable legacy for our nation, unmarred by the massive quantities of filthy porn we regularly consume. (From The Onion)

posted by Zifnab 1 decade 4 years 7 months 3 weeks ago • 2,428 views

Nostalgic Sox fans will be delighted by the re-antiquated Fenway Park complete with splintered bleachers and obstructed views.

posted by Zifnab 1 decade 4 years 8 months ago • 1,345 views

Tulane University researchers say Quigley is now able to experience the crippling fear of impending death previously only accessible to humans. (From The Onion)

posted by Zifnab 1 decade 4 years 8 months ago • 2,499 views

Stouffers says the suicide prevention tips are available on all single serving microwavable dinners whether you enjoy veal parmigiana alone or beef stroganoff alone.

posted by Zifnab 1 decade 4 years 8 months 1 week ago • 1,790 views

ONN: Keeping reports of children's deaths classy since 1873.

posted by EDD 1 decade 4 years 8 months 3 weeks ago • 2,380 views • 3:02

In other news, 9 out of 10 experts agree on something they all learned from the same professional journal.

posted by TheFreak 1 decade 4 years 8 months 3 weeks ago • 303 views

How Will The End Of Print Journalism Affect Old Loons Who Hoard Newspapers?

posted by geo321 1 decade 4 years 9 months ago • 1,172 views • 2:09

"The incident was caused by a feedback problem that made it appear that the president's voice was out of time with the movement of his lips", the White House statement said.

posted by EDD 1 decade 4 years 9 months ago • 2,002 views

Rep. Cummings (D-VA) vows to ignore the haters and rise above the drama during the filming of his new reality series.

posted by Zifnab 1 decade 4 years 9 months 1 week ago • 1,226 views

"Mr Von Triers ability to work with such disparate Danish themes such as rape, incest and inherently evil nature of society make him a national treasure", Ghita Hjalmar, the Northern-European country's... continue reading

posted by EDD 1 decade 4 years 9 months 1 week ago • 2,733 views

New Law Would Ban Marriages Between People Who Don't Love Each Other

posted by geo321 1 decade 4 years 9 months 2 weeks ago • 1,366 views • 2:42

Senior NASA analysts weigh in on the scientific method for the plan, complete with a 3D rendering of the potential female approach trajectory.

posted by EDD 1 decade 4 years 9 months 3 weeks ago • 5,341 views

Computer experts say individuals with upcoming bachelor parties or afterwork get-togethers are especially vulnerable to cyber attacks resulting in fraudulent late-night purchases.

posted by Zifnab 1 decade 4 years 9 months 3 weeks ago • 1,428 views

Melissa Donley, author and cat relationship expert, visits Today NOW! with some tips for people in long term relationships with their cats.

posted by Zifnab 1 decade 4 years 9 months 4 weeks ago • 2,844 views

Rep. Bruce Durant proposes a bill protecting anyone who who may have had a little too much to drink at a White House event and called Michelle Obama a "beautiful queen."

posted by SlipperyPete 1 decade 4 years 10 months ago • 1,877 views • 1:49

Chris Lukawski, a longtime devotee of the Packers and beer, is confident his battered liver and family can handle another NFL season of unrestrained alcohol consumption.

posted by Zifnab 1 decade 4 years 10 months ago • 1,320 views