If it was only easy...
Ok so I'm a pretty shy person in public despite my work with the police and EMS I really don't have much in the way of an outgoing personality. I'm not one to ask out a girl unless I have known her for awhile and then the frienship/relationship boundary is a devil to overcome. This is about as outgoing as I get (a trip with friends to Atlantic City, I'm on the right)
However today I was thinking to myself why can't single girls (or guys) have something to show for it. I mean married women have rings, what's so hard from adding a single or taken finger? It's so hard to tell with girls lately if they have rings on from a boyfriend or just to dress up. I'm not saying let's label everyone with a big "HEY I'M SINGLE" tattoo on their forehead but there has to be something. Granted this brings up the question of "well I don't want everyone hitting on me" and I know when I don't want to be bothered I put my ring on my left hand and let it be known.
I would just like sometimes to be able to read through the signals. For example, yesterday I was at Applebees and this REALLY cute hostess gave me some cute looks and was flirting. I'm not going to go "hey so umm are you single" and embarass myself in public like that. Or today I was at CVS grabbing some stuff and again the same thing happened. Am I alone here or what?
Yes yes I know, short answer: Grow some balls.
Long answer: It's not that easy and I don't want to come off as a complete jerkwad.
14 Comments
Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)
You're right- that is something missing from Western culture. In Hawaii, don't they wear a flower on a particular side to indicate marriage status?
Also- I've heard that Hindus only wear the bindi - (red forehead dot) if they are married.
Why don't you come up with something Snipe- we'll start the ball rolling here. How about inside-out ball caps.
lol I like that, I just think it's odd that married women have the culture of displaying marriage while people just in a relationship don't. I mean since it's a right hand ring finger for marriage why isn't there a finger for someone who is, say in a strong relationship? I know when I was dating in Bermuda my g/f would wear my ring on her left hand ring finger.
I say wear a Celtic knot or something and make that the rule. Maybe something more manly for guys, ya know like a tattoo
But you need a haircut and your shirt needs ironing...it's obvious you don't have a wife!
Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)
LOL ^ good point - visual cues to singledom can be that subtle.
Dag, I do believe that is the case in Hawai'i.
And thesnipe - You mean you don't actually have long white hair? I'm shocked!
@mlx touche, you don't really recognize it unless you look back at the subtle hints.
@MG LOL, well at this point if I dyed my hair white and iron...er...nevermind
...to the waitress; 'so, you seem really cool, do you live around here? would you want to see a movie or something sometime?'
Subtle, non-creepy eye-contact and non-aggressive body-language should help you come across as not-a-crazy-person, thus increasing your chances. Some people will even argue that you can say, "Not to come on too strong or anything, but would you want to see a movie...", which might act to break tension or be more comfortable to say... sort of addressing the 'elephant in the room'.
Even if you're shot-down, hey, everyone gets shot down, and often. just take that shit in strides and learn from the experience!
... avoid bullshitting and hackneyed pickup lines like the plague. They only work on drunks and the immature.
and towards broadcasting singleness... not everybody follows the same subtle rules.
How about this... everyone who is single don't zip up anything, just buttons them. Pants, some dresses, backpacks, purses, wallets, ... zip up the least you can. And wear/carry a lot of things that use zippers. That'll mean you're single.
Bamdrew, agreed, honestly it's something I need to get used to. All my ex girlfriends I have known as friends for awhile before dating. So to me asking someone out even subtly and graciously gives me the creeps because I don't want that cliche of the guy in the bar you see using pickup lines that you could just go over and punch in the face for making men in general look like jerks.
As for the zip up idea, I like it haha beats the hell out of Dags upside-down caps
Your not alone. I could have written your above statement.
Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)
I recommend Ricky's smooth technique.
Thanks Eric, it's good to know I'm not the only one
actually, snipe, many women are more attracted to someone who IS already involved. They see it like a challenge, so if they win they prove they are better then the other one.
try wearing a marriage ring
lol I was saying "marriage knife", dear Wheel of Time....
lol looris, actually I do have a ring I switch from my small finger to my index when I don't want to be bothered, it hasn't worked the opposite way but I'll give it a shot.
Marriage knife, lol nice term!
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