I know that whenever I contemplate suicide, I look down at my penis and think, "No, this is too good to waste."

Isildur wears it while escaping his ambush by orcs, and does indeed turn invisible before it slips off his finger. Unfortunately the argument is available that he, like the hobbits, has every reason to value stealth in that moment. It's notable that both he and Frodo are made aware (in Frodo's case by Galadriel) that the ring's real strength is beyond them.

Bombadil wears it briefly as well, of course, and doesn't vanish. But he's a pain in the ass. Others might say it's because he's an ainu, duh. Or shut up, he's a deliberate anomaly. I'd claim, not with a tremendous amount of canonical justification it has to be said, that it's because he's all physical; a personification of middle-earth and even the ring can't shove him into the shadow world.

Invisibility isn't a power of the One Ring so much as a side-effect. It shifts mortal wearers a little into the spirit world, so they fade from view in the physical. Sauron doesn't disappear when he wears the ring because he already exists in both worlds and he can see other wearers for the same reason. It's not widely discussed, but this should also be true of other maiar; Gandalf, Saruman and Durin's Bane; and 'high' elves who've been to Valinor: Galadriel and Glorfindel would all also be unaffected by ringvisibility. It's this walking the threshold between worlds that's also responsible for the extended lifespan of mortal ringbearers and why Frodo can see the ringwraiths and they can see him.

The elemental character of the Three, I think, shouldn't be overstated. All of the rings, the One, the Three, the Seven and the Nine are very much alike. They were all made by or under the tutelage of the same creator to the same basic recipe, with independent elven flourishes rather than fundamental differences in the case of the Three. The One has to resonate (musical metaphors are always appropriate for Tolkien's magic) with the others in order to work on them, and that's Sauron's mistake: he is ultimately trapped and destroyed by his ring just as the dwarves and men were by theirs.

Wow, Teddy's a real asshole.

If humans disappeared then nothing. An empty world with nothing happening and no-one to see it. A void sphere expanding out from our solar system at the speed of light with the last of our transmissions, in every direction and forever.

Unless and until sophonce appears again. Then the lights come on and the universe can see itself.

It's because God is sexually aroused by the birth of AIDS-infected babies.

Every time I see your username I hear this song.

STÖRTEBEKER!

These two ideas go hand-in-hand. It's very nice for us to sit around and swap stories of our experiences with psychedelics, but we have to recognise that we have enemies who want to steal these experiences from us. You can't on the one hand believe that drugs are fine and people should take them if they want to and on the other say, "oh hey, here's this guy who thinks everyone who uses drugs should be kidnapped and locked in a box for years; that cool - live and let live." Is that thinking really something we can even recognise as human? I don't, and we have a right to defend ourselves from it, by say, stringing its advocates up from the nearest tree. So what do we call something subhuman that deserves to be lynched?

You're notice I'm not so much of a one for universal love and brotherhood.

It's absolutely insane not to want to experiment a little with your consciousness and perceptions. It's crazy. Your mind is what you are; why would anyone insist on locking themselves into one way of thinking for their whole lives?

Ultimately the best way to expand your mind in a cumulative way is reading. You get to experience the world through thousands of other people's eyes, more than eyes - brains. It's great, but presumably nothing beats psychedelics for a quick dose of perspective.

Unfortunately we live in a world of niggers who want to ban everything.

I think your triumphalism is somewhat unseemly.

You are a demented fascist.

I think it's noble to do whatever little you can to oppose the brutal half-century long occupation, humiliation, starvation and assassination of your people, yes.

Israel is an illegal occupying power in international law, that's a fact. It constantly violates practically every obligation that occupation incurs in international law; it engages in collective punishment, it regularly seizes and destroys private property, it laughingly fails to provide for the safety and welfare of the population under its control, it settles occupied territory with its civilians, it forcibly relocates Palestinian civilians, it routinely ignores the UN's attempts to restrain these and other illegal behaviours, these are facts.

Israel is engaged in terrorism in Gaza and elsewhere, and has been for decades - fact.

He bled a lot less in this one than he usually does.

I gave my mum a little sheet of packing foam for this purpose. It works. I've been meaning to wire it onto her mic somehow so she doesn't have to hold it up all the time like a dummy, but you know, the comfort of others is a low priority.

Notwithstanding that you weren't looking for a reply, I ought at least to acknowledge my debt to you for correcting my spelling. It's always gratifying to see the lower orders of humanity display sudden and unlooked-for hints of intelligence - just like watching a monkey light a cigar.

I won't bore you with my inexplicably punctuated "opinions", knowing that "facts" and "rational thought" are always anathema to such as you. Only take my thanks in the spirit of fellowship and understanding with which they are intended.

*discard