I was seeing that very last bit as "Dammit enough of you. You get the HELL in the house!". Otherwise he wouldn't have brought it all the way back across the road.

Spouse's cat, most likely. Unspayed and cranky. Hates him. Continually stares and growls at him. Shreds his slippers. Chews the corners of his briefcase after pissing on it. Tries to get underfoot when he's carrying in an armful of groceries. Yowls at nothing at 3AM. Dreams of putting a yarn tripline at the top of the stairs. Poops next to the litterbox whenever the spouse is away. Hides his car keys next to the radiator in hopes that the car remote starter will melt. Has been secretly training in a correspondence course in opposable thumbs so it can knife him to death in his sleep.

Yeah.

>> ^kymbos:

Guys, this is all fine, but can we quickly devolve into a redundant "he's really good / no he's not - I know singing better than you" thread?
Thanks.


<MilkmanDan> That was really good! He does sound a lot like Freddie Mercury, but I know Bohemian Rhapsody better than Somebody to Love, so this time I could actually be sure that it was him singing and not just lip-synch.

<MilkmanDon> You ignorant blowhard! My tomcat yowling at the moon at night sounds more like Freddie Mercury! And I'd know, I've been playing the milk-bottle xylophone since I was 4 years old!



How was that @kymbos?

Awww, thank you love, you're too kind!

In reply to this comment by mintbbb:
So cuuuuuuuuuute!
*quality! :

Tags for this video have been changed from 'cat, fight, yowl, hiss, glass' to 'cat, fight, yowl, hiss, glass, invisible, forcefield' - edited by sometimes

I've gone ahead and taken the liberty of transcribing the fifth '5 jokes in 5 seconds' joke. Enjoi:

The pope, a bear, a rabbi, a pirate, a diplomat, a midget, a woman in a coma, a pelican and your mom were all relaxing on an Eames chair after a furious fortnight of group hate sex when there was a sound at the door. "Knock-knock" went the sound emanating from the door.

Simultaneously, and without missing a beat, an answer broke like a desperate yowl from the throats of the orgiers: "Who's there?"

Like a shot from the butt gun of a pre-radicalized 1920's anarchist, came a response from beyond the door. "Banana."

Faster than a duck could rape a lizard in the mouth, our motley crew of freakazoids, safely ensconced in the luxury of their designer seatery, shook their heads and bleated as a unit, "Orange you glad we've already heard this joke and so shan't be participating (unless of course you are offering substantial financial remuneration)." There was no reply from the other side of the door, save this. One absolute rascal of a fart.

Automata are really interesting, and the French took the art to new heights. From wikipedia:
A new attitude towards automata is to be found in Descartes when he suggested that the bodies of animals are nothing more than complex machines - the bones, muscles and organs could be replaced with cogs, pistons and cams. Thus mechanism became the standard to which Nature and the organism was compared. Seventeenth-century France was the birthplace of those ingenious mechanical toys that were to become prototypes for the engines of the industrial revolution. Thus, in 1649, when Louis XIV was still a child, an artisan named Camus designed for him a miniature coach, and horses complete with footmen, page and a lady within the coach; all these figures exhibited a perfect movement. According to P. Labat, General de Gennes constructed, in 1688, in addition to machines for gunnery and navigation, a peacock that walked and ate. The Jesuit Athanasius Kircher produced many automatons to create jesuit shows, including a statue which spoke and listened via a speaking tube, a perpetual motion machine, or a cat piano which would drive spikes into the tails of cats which yowled to specified pitches, although he is not known to have actually constructed the instrument. He also wrote an early description of the magic lantern, in Ars Magna Lucis et Umbrae (1671).
The world's first successfully-built biomechanical automaton is considered to be The Flute Player, invented by the French engineer Jacques de Vaucanson in 1737. He also constructed a mechanical duck that could eat and defecate, seeming to endorse Cartesian ideas that animals are no more than machines of flesh.
In 1769, a chess-playing automaton called the Turk, created by Wolfgang von Kempelen, made the rounds of the courts of Europe, but in fact was a famous hoax, operated from inside by a hidden human operator.
Other Eighteenth Century automaton makers include the prolific Frenchman Pierre Jaquet-Droz (see Jaquet-Droz automata) and his contemporary Henri Maillardet. Maillardet, a Swiss mechanician, created an automaton capable of drawing four pictures and writing three poems. Maillardet's Automaton is now part of the collections at the Franklin Institute Science Museum in Philadelphia.