Well dip me in owl-shit and call me a porcupine....

There's always next year, RS.

Why don't you go have a few fish tacos and some tequila....



In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
god im so mad I could rape a chicken

In reply to this comment by rougy:
Wow, the um...New York Jets are playing the, um...Something Something Chargers tomorrow.

Have the container ships from China arrived yet with the kleenex?

Wow, look at all the votes on this one, looks like I am just on an unlucky streak - Awe-well, Congrats!

In reply to this comment by gwiz665:
Not really my usual MO either, but I thought: the world could use some more misogyny!

In reply to this comment by Sagemind:
Ya, go for it, I had no luck with votes (after24hrs) on it and it wasn't my style of post so I moved on. Maybe you can do better! Good Luck!

In reply to this comment by gwiz665:
I think this was hilarious.. In fact, I think I'm gonna try to get it sifted.

edit: There we go http://www.videosift.com/video/Sluts-spilled-neighborhood-stink-of-perfume-and-tequila

In reply to this comment by Sagemind:
*discard

Ya, go for it, I had no luck with votes (after24hrs) on it and it wasn't my style of post so I moved on. Maybe you can do better! Good Luck!

In reply to this comment by gwiz665:
I think this was hilarious.. In fact, I think I'm gonna try to get it sifted.

edit: There we go http://www.videosift.com/video/Sluts-spilled-neighborhood-stink-of-perfume-and-tequila

In reply to this comment by Sagemind:
*discard

Customer: "Did you feel something?"

Rougy: "No. Hey, bartender, tequila please."

(bar starts to collapse)

Customer: "Holy shit!"

Rougy: "I know! My tequila! My tequila!"

"Believe it or not, I have fond memories of Miller beer..."

I'll pray for you.

Funny, but I was just thinking about how people have their preferences. I was talking to a girl the other day and I told her that I liked "herb." She seemed to like me at first, but suddenly cooled down after I said that. I can't remember what she said, but she basically equated pot smokers with losers.

I was trying to think of an analogy between the weed and how different people like different types of alcohol.

I can drink vodka all day, never feel drunk, and fall of my barstool suddenly shitfaced. Can't stand the smell of bourbon whiskey, but I love scotch. Scotch makes me like to argue. Tequila makes me like to laugh and dance. Beer is just a stand-by. Don't hate wine, but I don't really understand it--I'm just not the kind of guy who will ever spend a lot of money on a bottle of wine.

And by the by...the number 13 has been tragically maligned for far too long.

http://lyrics.wikia.com/Crash_Test_Dummies:I_Think_I%27ll_Disappear_Now

Running into you like this without warning
is like catching a sniff of tequila in the morning
But I'll try, I'll try to keep my food down
That's quite an after-taste that you've left
now that you're not around
You can just pretend we're not in the same room
Well, alright, I'll just mosey to the bathroom
You flew by like a summer vacation
And you left me with TV-movies and a messy kitchen
I think I'll disappear now, slip out sideways
Just for awhile - but until then I'll stay in and sleep late, excuse me
I'll buy a fast car, I'll drive fast from here
There's a beach I haven't seen since last year -
It's far, but I like night drives:
It just makes it nicer when I do arrive
Aren't you going to miss me?
Aren't you going to even say one thing to me anymore?
Well, you can bet that I'll forget how it was then:
All the drives to your farm for the weekend
But I've seen the swimsuit magazines
And I've smelled tequila first thing in the morning....

I see what you're saying Westy, but that's not what he was paying for when he ponied up for his monthly insurance premiums. If this were a public option then we could all debate whether a nursing facility was adequate. As it is, we pay for private health insurance with the understanding that we will be able to maintain our current standard of living in the case of catastrophic health problems.

Insurance companies account for this type of thing when determining your premiums. They have entire departments dedicated to calculating actuary tables and such to ensure they profit even given the 1 in a million patient like Ian Pearl. So dropping Mr. Pearl's coverage is pure profit for the company. Guardian Insurance will meet their expected profit margins while meeting Mr. Pearl's health care needs. They'll profit even MORE by dropping him.

I hope this reply made sense. Tequila is a hell of a drug.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'Jimmy, Kimmel, Michael, Moore, caitalism, unemployment, Chavez, Venice, speech, tequilla' to 'Jimmy Kimmel, Michael Moore, caitalism, unemployment, Chavez, Venice, speech, tequila' - edited by gwiz665

I clap for you!

Title should be, "Russians, Tequila and White Trash: The Rise and Fall of Britney Spears"

I don't know where to start.

First off it's the offering/receiving of money for sex that's the crime. Not having sex. How do undercover female cops bust johns over there? Do they have to get penetrated? He admitted he offered to pay for sex and the skank obviously agreed because her "britches" were down too. I think that cop needs to be talked to.

Second .. A HUNDRED dollars?! I don't know what value I'd place on her but it's somewhere between a shot of tequila and a free ride home.

Lastly .. prostitution should be legalized imo. No, not hookers gone wild in the streets, but regulated, isolated and safe.

Even squirrels need something to wash down the tequila.

"Surf, turf, and the tequila sunrise scheme...."

I've always liked Ze.

He's got some real classics on his site.

A lot of niggaz stepped up to the bad man
Chest bucked out with your head wide open
Hopin, to spot, a chip in this frame
I lived and died by the burnin flame
of the OK Corral, Cowboy style
From the Quarters on down to Colorado's
Big niggaz from uptown, ridin into Tahoe's
Saloon settin, kids is walkin round
drinkin whiskey and scotch, strictly out of shotglasses
Lookin screwfaced at the next nigga who passes
There's women in garter belts and ciggarettes
And on the side there's the price game
Niggaz is playin the price game
Indian Red, was bangin niggaz in the head
With his man Apache Joe, they take your money off the floor
They side-bettin for a better, they makin cheddar
That tribal shit is work ya sound the wompom drums
Cause my Indian man'sll break your great dick, UHH
Walk in the New York terrority
On the back of a tree, there's a picture of me
It says I'm lawless, flawless, a hustler plus gun rustler
Wanted in Carolina, for sellin some of New York's finer
Marshal Cooper say he want me, Marshal Cooper gotta get me
Marshal Cooper say beat me, Marshal Cooper better wet me
I gather alla y'all, all of my trusted men
All of my baddest niggaz, niggaz that's quickest with the triggers
There's distrubin news on the wire
That my dome piece is done sent to piece out for hire
I ain't goin down over no money exchange
You late for say I, who reigns as King of the Range?
In this land of wildness
Yo you better pack your vest
In the streets there's nothin but crime
So you best to watch your behind...
Meanwhile saloon settin is back to full swing
Bar's gettin money people doin they thing
There's strictly Boss Players with this kid named Minnesota
As women start to fill up, turn the notch on the grill up
And add mo' stakes to the house banks for gamblers
Half-pipes to scramblers, and free for Wild Cowboys
You never bring decoys if you wanna make real nouse
The bigger the stick, the bigger the fire
I never hit a man in the back, a coward acts like that
Lay out my black hat cause I feel like the bad man
Who on the rise, the D's to Manhattan
Let's walk the thirty paces on the Now Rule races
Oh it's the Marshal Cooper, and I love how he doin this
Women sayin don't get hurt, and I ain't plannin on it
Ten steps taken as I hit the blam factor
His dick to act up, was death the benefactor
Leave him twitchin in the dirt like Cousin Harold from the Menace
I'm in this to win this on the great wide trail
I'm ten times as bad as John Wayne, could ever be
Plus I'm down with the Indian, and need high to get the shit again
I'm responsible for that body in the alley
I'll Louisiana Purchase that ass with with Remi's spurs
and hard shots of Tequila, where the dancin girls
Let's get right as the story unfurls
Piano man keep playin, keep them keys bangin
Single man get three graves there's gonna be a hangin
Now this right here ain't for the youth to see
A grown man assed out swingin from a tree
In this land of wildness
Yo you better pack your vest
In the streets there's nothin but crime
So you best to watch your behind
Joe Tex was the biggest hombre from the projects
Had all the work locked down, so he thought
But he drank and got loose lipped, let a lot of news slip
Stripped of his game and got his self murdered
Thoughts of him are passin like the buffalo
Got his self rocked in the ninety-six brand new Acura
Niggaz said it was lightning BLAOW blew out the back mirror
Hah, youknowhatI'msayin? Dig, check it out
They say that Cowboys never die they just ride off into the sun
A little tale from Sadat X of how the WORLD was won
Check it out, remember this
Gun-slingers, dead-ringers with presidents
Is found tied with no explanation of how they died
Yo the great Sadat X, the High Plains Drifter
No question
In this land of wildness
Yo you better pack a vest
In the streets there's nothin but crime
So you best to watch your behind

Tequila Bombs!

>> ^rougy:
It is a hard thing to say, but yes, I need drugs sometimes.
Sometimes I need a beer. Sometimes I need a shot of tequila or scotch. Sometimes I just need a little buzz. Sometimes I want to tie one on and get a little crazy.
Weed especially helps me and I need that. It picks me up and gives my world a different perspective. It puts me into the groove and everything I do, whether it's writing poetry, drawing cartoons, or washing the dishes, becomes a little more magical. And I hate having to sneak around to find it.
LSD, shrooms, ex, yeah, I need those sometimes, too. I need to get away and get out. I need a peek into the other side.

Weed does tend to enhance your natural talents and abilities. I remember when I used to smoke daily. I'd pack a bowl before going into a calculus exam. It really lets you "see" things that may not be apparent. Once you're in that groove you're unstoppable. Unfortunately it can lead to complacency and general laziness (at least in me). I'm kind of glad I quit, but it'd be nice to have that ability on occasion. Plus I miss how music sounds while I'm on it, the best ever...maybe with the exception of LSD but you're pretty much useless on that.