*scifi *future *cinema *woohoo style parody

I don't really know who she is, but she's so outrageously stupid that it almost seems like a Stephen Colbert style parody.

1. Baptized Catholic.

2. Named after a relative who was killed in the Civil War, fighting for the North.

3. Ronald McDonald was my godfather.

4. Was in many musicals, commercials, radio spots, TV shows as a kid and had a small but visible part in a well known feature film. Notable non-imdb-able credit: You can hear me singing and laughing with other kids during the credits to Poltergeist. Shannon Doherty and Chad Allen were two of my childhood friends (no, I don't keep in touch).

5. Was elected president of my elementary school. My only presidential duty was to raise the flag every morning, which I passed off to my veep.

6. Used to write 'Weird Al' style parody songs. Unfortunately, the tape on which I recorded all of these songs was lost long ago.

7. Have wide feet.

8. My first car was a used 1988 Toyota truck which I kept until 2007. It was twice broken into and thrice stolen.

9. Studied percussion and composition at USC.

10. Was in the Disneyland Christmas Toy Soldier band for two holiday seasons.

11. Did not try drugs or alcohol until I was 20.

12. Used to sell my sperm for extra income.

13. Though atheist since high school, I've twice participated in a nude pagan ritual with strippers on an isolated beach under a full moon.

14. Sleep disorders. I get night terror when I'm extremely stressed. I also occasionally sleepwalk, talk in my sleep and get sleep paralysis.

15. Hiked to the top of Half-Dome in Yosemite twice.

16. Own a fully signed Mr. Bungle New Years 2000 poster.

17. Play Theremin.

18. I've performed at Carnagie Hall, Disney Hall, The Dorothy Chandler Pavillion, among other famous venues.

19. Went to the Cannes Film Festival in 2003 with a film that I scored.

20. Scored my first (and hopefully not last) commercial feature film in 2007.

21. Played in the pit for over 100 musicals. (wonder if I've worked with guessandcheck?)

22. Haven't had cable or shopped at a Wal*Mart in a decade.

23. If I had billions of dollars, I would design video games and theme parks.

24. VS is the only online community I've ever become a part of.

25. Six inches, but girthy.

*woohoo style *parody. Go *geek cake!

It was also rather *dark in a good way.