Tags for this video have been changed from 'police, brutality, monkey, piss, homie, mexican' to 'police, brutality, monkey, piss, homie, mexican, martin monetti, shandy cobane' - edited by burdturgler

the lyrics in the description are wrong:

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable,
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table,
David Hume could out-consume,
Schopenhauer and Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say could stick it away,
Half a crate of whiskey everyday.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And René DesCartes was a drunken fart
"I drink, therefore I am."

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker
but a bugger when he's pissed.

You know, choggie, I think I appreciate karaidl’s wit just as much as you, because I’m a bit of a clown myself and therefore I take notice of the finer points of Mr. K’s intricate humorous stylings. And you know what else? YOU can be a funny bastard too at times. I think I understand many of your tangential, virtually indecipherable remarks, but even if I don’t I still recognize the talent that lies behind them.

Now that I’m done with the blowjobs I’ll say this: Kindly shut your fucking piehole. This is a ROAST, and at ROASTS people often say the most obscene, shocking, and tasteless things to shame the roastee, and through this process we humiliate ourselves too because we’ve all said such debased things. In other words we all wallow in the muck, and have a good laugh in the process. You know, because it’s a FUCKING ROAST. Sorry if this isn’t your cup of tea, love; I guess we can’t all live up to your lofty standards of skewering.

Rottenseed: This karaidl bloke is up for proper roasting today.
Me: By Jove, we’ll give him what for. A sound thrashing, indeed.
Rottenseed: It will be a jolly good time. I might even make a scandalous reference to the Prime Minister!
Me: Gadzooks! That will be a sticky wicket! An oblique reference to the buskers at Piccadilly Circus would be a toff more shandy, savvy?

Yes, that is what a proper roast should be like. On Uranus.

Spare us the ongoing critiques. We all like karaidl, and have all turned out to show him our appreciation. We’re doing our best to make this enjoyable, while you seem to be doing your best to piss on all of us for trying. If I wanted ceaseless criticism I’d have never left Catholic school. Enough already. I ain’t in the mood for this shit right now, and most likely I won’t be in the mood for it later either.

Should I try for a complete list?

choking the chicken
quickest way to the bell end
just head up the dirt track
lost the time? lost a watch?
spanking the ass
dog in water? poodle in a tub? smells like wet dog?
spit roast
cream pie
tradesmen
paint it red? paint the wall red?
teabagging
hand shandy
boar with sword?
docking manuever
head
beef curtains
ball in the corner pocket
stinky
69
dirty sanchez
Ron Jeremy
meat sandwich
rusty trombone
wads of tissue

Help me with any I messed up and I'll correct my post.