The Official Roast of karaidl!
Bienvenida, siftalites, to the third randomly scheduled “Sift-lebrity Roast”. For an undecided length of time, we will slow roast karaidl underground like the dirty swine he wishes he were.
Before we start, I think I should point out some subjects he is sensitive about and should be avoided:
1. His strong sexual affinity for morbidly obese black men. (they call him “kebab” at the neighborhood barbecues)
2. His extreme allergy to vaginas. He can’t look at them, can’t smell them, he can’t even think about them without going completely flacid…he’s currently undergoing treatment so this issue is a little “touchy” for him
Other than that he’s fair game.
Since, I don’t want to leave you all in the dark here is some background on the roastee:
Karaidl was born “mid-kick” from the mangled womb of the star performer in a popular transsexual cancan dance group in Vegas. Being 63 years of age at the time of his birth and with his father being feral goat tied to the back of a 87’ chevy pickup, his mother found money hard to come by so karaidl’s childhood was no walk in the park. He was raised on a diet of stepped-on peanut shells and half eaten deli pickles left behind by patrons of the bed & breakfast his mother ran from their one bedroom apartment. He never knew why she got to sleep in the same bedroom as the guests while he had to sleep on the piss-soaked carpet in the living room.
Through all of this adversity, karaidl has kept a great outlook on life. He has now conquered tasks that one might deem impossible for him. Tasks like tying his own shoes, brushing his teeth with a toothbrush instead of a pillow and he's making great progress in his struggle to distinguish the difference between the color “blue” and the sound of a bus. What I respect him for the most out of anything is the love he has for his family and extended family. He's especially close, and a major influence, to his mentally challenged niece. He actually asked me to link you all to a picture of her
Despite his colorful past and slow emotional development, Karaidl has always found time to bore us with his dumb conspiracy theories and other amphigory. So let’s all bust his balls despite the fact they have yet to drop.
Before we start, I think I should point out some subjects he is sensitive about and should be avoided:
1. His strong sexual affinity for morbidly obese black men. (they call him “kebab” at the neighborhood barbecues)
2. His extreme allergy to vaginas. He can’t look at them, can’t smell them, he can’t even think about them without going completely flacid…he’s currently undergoing treatment so this issue is a little “touchy” for him
Other than that he’s fair game.
Since, I don’t want to leave you all in the dark here is some background on the roastee:
Karaidl was born “mid-kick” from the mangled womb of the star performer in a popular transsexual cancan dance group in Vegas. Being 63 years of age at the time of his birth and with his father being feral goat tied to the back of a 87’ chevy pickup, his mother found money hard to come by so karaidl’s childhood was no walk in the park. He was raised on a diet of stepped-on peanut shells and half eaten deli pickles left behind by patrons of the bed & breakfast his mother ran from their one bedroom apartment. He never knew why she got to sleep in the same bedroom as the guests while he had to sleep on the piss-soaked carpet in the living room.
Through all of this adversity, karaidl has kept a great outlook on life. He has now conquered tasks that one might deem impossible for him. Tasks like tying his own shoes, brushing his teeth with a toothbrush instead of a pillow and he's making great progress in his struggle to distinguish the difference between the color “blue” and the sound of a bus. What I respect him for the most out of anything is the love he has for his family and extended family. He's especially close, and a major influence, to his mentally challenged niece. He actually asked me to link you all to a picture of her
Despite his colorful past and slow emotional development, Karaidl has always found time to bore us with his dumb conspiracy theories and other amphigory. So let’s all bust his balls despite the fact they have yet to drop.
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