>> ^Retroboy:
Heh, calling that a "wife-beating joke" is a stretch. Wife-spanking joke, sure. There's a pretty huge difference.


It's not a huge difference.. More like a 2 and a half foot difference, it's a moderate difference.

>> ^chilaxe:
^If all else fails, try a wife-beating joke?


I dunno, I kinda liked his wife beating joke. Course, I also like husband beating jokes, as well. This isn't quite a husband beating joke, but I dedicate this to the ladies:

A married man was visiting his mistress when she requested that he shave his beard.

“Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.”

James replied, “My wife loves this beard, I couldn’t possibly do it, she’d kill me!”

“Oh, please?” the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice.

“Oh, really, I can’t,” he replies. “My wife loves this beard!”

The girlfriend asked once more, he sighs and finally gives in. That night, James crawls into bed with his wife while she’s sleeping.

The wife is awakened, feels his face and replies, “Oh, Michael, you shouldn’t be here, my husband will be home at any moment.”

He almost looked like a regular parakeet with a little wig and a funky coat.

Man, am I cynical.

How to deal with trolls?

1. Give them avatars of B-list celebrities, like David Spade or Steven Seagal, that way they can be easily identified.
2. Keep posting talks like this regularly, that way they'll come into the open to identify themselves by saying IT'S THE INTERNET. Any time someone even remotely suggests that we should treat each other with the tiniest bit of respect, they will immediately be incensed and start whining.
3. Make sure that no one can ever discuss or even allude to the Nazis EVER AGAIN, unless we are actually talking about REAL Nazis (you know, the ones who systematically exterminated millions of people during World War II). That way they'll have no arguments at all:

First they came for the racist trolls and CP, and we rejoiced. Then they banned the ad-hom personal attacks, and we rejoiced. Then they came for the threadjackers, pointless posts and anything that upset people, and the newer members rejoiced. Then they came for those who criticized the f-cking kitty dominoes bullshit videos, they came for those who downvoted three times in a row, they came for those who swore or misabused their powers.

Finally, all that was left was the power-hungry tattletales who took over videosift and their lameass videos that mostly suck.

my parakeet doesn't seem so impressive anymore

My sister was/is like a zookeeper. At one time she had two cats, a bunny, two ferrets, a dog, and a parakeet. What was funny is that she'd let the parakeet out and it would fly right down to the floor, right to where the cats were. And then that little bird would fuck with those cats. I mean it would be aggressive, hopping right up to them to squawk and nip at them. And those cats would always back down. It was hilarious to watch.

The moral of the story: Sometimes pussies are pussies.

I had a persian named Puddles that would run over to our parakeets and lay on them if they were unfortunate enough to land on the ground.

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*wtf. The canary and parakeet push it way over into LOL land. Poor, very confused cat.

We used to have a native parrot in the United States, but we expended, er, ate them all when the nation was young. That was the Carolina Parakeet, and these descendants of escaped pet-market birds are the only thing we have (these aren't the only species of transplant parrots here: I spent my college years being awakened by double yellow headed amazons from the Pasadena trees).

I would love it if quaker parrots lived near me, wild in the trees, and I would happily volunteer to help them if they needed to be relocated.

if i want to have my parakeet sit on my finger, i have to approach him from the right side, if i come from the left, he is terrified. if i come from the right, he is not afraid at all.

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Hooray for cocksox - if I wore underwear, these would be for me.

oh wait, they are swimmers. In Australia they call parakeets "budgys" and these kinds of swimsuits are called "budgy smugglers", here.

These are pretty good. I worked in a 911 center for about 7 years, and we always tried to save the "good" ones.

We had a woman call one night to report that she had lost a 'pair of keys' and wanted to know if someone might have turned them in. The guy who was taking the call thought she had lost a "parakeet" and was asking her what color it was and if she thought it had flown away. Confusion abounded.

Opps, here it is.. *discard
http://www.videosift.com/video/AJ-the-parakeet-is-smarter-than-your-pet

funny how the parakeet just stays there as if it's laughing at the cat.

Mmmmm, Parakeet under glass...