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Russell Howard - Messages In Children's Stories

messenger says...

I remember realizing how awful some nursery rhymes and kids songs were. Like the Three Little Kittens. They lost their mittens, as children do. That's life with kids. But they lose dessert privileges. And to compound it, the fact they were lucky enough to find their mittens suddenly erases their previous wickedness and they get to have dessert again. If that wasn't enough of a giveaway, it was first published in the U.S. in a book called, "New Nursery Songs for All Good Children"

And "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" has the same issue. Children who are unhappy are being bad and won't get presents. It doesn't say, children who don't steal, or who don't bully, or anything vaguely moral. No, it's whether you cry and pout or not that determines whether you get a little tin horn or a little toy drum. In fact, a strict reading of the lyrics shows this behaviour doesn't even determine whether you've been naughty or nice this year, but whether you in fact are naughty or nice inherently.

These two were written by failed parents, clearly.

My Cat Is Afraid of the Vacuum Cleaner...

Kid Says He Met God and Jesus In Heaven

Aphex Toddler

Aphex Toddler

Aphex Toddler

Aphex Toddler

Little Girl Beat Box

Little Girl Beat Box

Little Girl Beat Box

Little Girl Beat Box

Cute little girl beatboxing

Cute little girl beatboxing

IDM Kid

IDM Kid



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