Not to be confused with Biggus Dickus.

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Many thanks Now stwike him centuwion! Vewwy woughly!

OK, first of all, since when is a Sift Roast a charity event? I mean, for fuck's sakes, this guy is so pathetic, making fun of people named Biggus Dickus is more challenging. Besides, I'm fairly certain we'll have exceed the total sum of all his lifetime verbal conversations ("Hi..." "Piss off!" x 237) in this thread by noon tomorrow.

I mean, the hardest thing is to decide where to start.

This man is so utterly lonely he tries to pass himself off as a geek, and fails spectacularly. I mean, how does one fail at GEEK, the one label losers like me and you all around the world use to comfort ourselves that there might be a community somewhere that accepts and appreciates us?
For one, he's boasting how he's at the computer all round the clock as if it's some WoW achievement (if it is, I say it's discriminatory, as it effectively singles out people with no lives). Take a look at his hobbies (#23) - I mean, wow, it takes some serious effort to exclusively come up with ones you only do on a computer. And come on, he added a fucking ® to both Photoshop© and Adobe™ (same exotic symbol twice in a row, loser), because everybody cares about indicating trademarks on the Series Of Tubes. It's serious business!

His 'picture', if one is blasphemous enough of photography by calling it that:
Apart from the fact that he might as well be Jessica Alba (we'll never know, his shaky camera skills are effing l33t), it's additionally cropped to show off pixelation and camera noise, there's a shitload of unnecessary blur and even a fucking lens flare effect for goodness' sakes! And did I mention how hip it is to take photos of yourself in outstretched hands? LONELYPHAIL15, man. By the way, when you say you wouldn't like to be Fart-Man, I urge you reconsider. There's advantages - you'd be more likely to score ladies than you are now, for one. Also, cops/people on the street might mistake you for an entertainer or a mascot every once in a while.

And I don't mean to nit-pick here, but what the hell is this guy doing here anyway? Obviously, he's implying that out of the 33 boring videos he's sifted (I suggest you go downvote all of them so that he doesn't get his hopes up), he's yet to enjoy any of them, as this remains his ultimate goal (#30). He mentions another, "self-entertainment", which is followed by "lol". Congratulations on achieving that second goal on such short notice. Although I do immensely pity karkarlee if you're equally easy to satisfy in other areas.

Finally,
>> ^karkarlee:
^ 32. What made you pick Obsidianfire as a username?
I mean look at it: obsidian fire. Imagine black fire, that's fucking awesome emo.

Here's an image of black fire for you. Since it's obviously the most awesomest thing ever for you, I hope you experience your very first orgasm over it. Then you might actually not feel too guilty while reassuring karkarlee for the hundredth time that you're very experienced in this secksing business.

Other roasters: here's your dessert.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'monty, python, biggus, dickus' to 'monty, python, biggus, dickus, incontinentia buttocks' - edited by swampgirl

I see nothing amusing about the name Biggus Dickus.