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>> ^csnel3:

I was lured here by the cornfield tag.


fixed. How someone thinks that is corn.. well it is Saturday night chip chip cherrio

Tags for this video have been changed from 'happy, dog, cornfield' to 'happy, dog, wheat field, wheat, jumping, leaping' - edited by BoneRemake

I was lured here by the cornfield tag.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'hip hop, will oldham, tractor, rural, south' to 'Galifianakis, kayne west, farmland, farm, will oldham, parody, hip hop, cornfield, cows' - edited by BoneRemake

IT'S DECORATIVE
GOURD SEASON, MOTHERFUCKERS.
BY COLIN NISSAN

- - - -

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I'm about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it's gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There's a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I'm going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, "Aren't those gourds straining your neck?" And I'm just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, "It's fall, fuckfaces. You're either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you're not."

Carving orange pumpkins sounds like a pretty fitting way to ring in the season. You know what else does? Performing an all-gourd reenactment of an episode of Diff'rent Strokes—specifically the one when Arnold and Dudley experience a disturbing brush with sexual molestation. Well, this shit just got real, didn't it? Felonies and gourds have one very important commonality: they're both extremely fucking real. Sorry if that's upsetting, but I'm not doing you any favors by shielding you from this anymore.

The next thing I'm going to do is carve one of the longer gourds into a perfect replica of the Mayflower as a shout-out to our Pilgrim forefathers. Then I'm going to do lines of blow off its hull with a hooker. Why? Because it's not summer, it's not winter, and it's not spring. Grab a calendar and pull your fucking heads out of your asses; it's fall, fuckers.

Have you ever been in an Italian deli with salamis hanging from their ceiling? Well then you're going to fucking love my house. Just look where you're walking or you'll get KO'd by the gauntlet of misshapen, zucchini-descendant bastards swinging from above. And when you do, you're going to hear a very loud, very stereotypical Italian laugh coming from me. Consider yourself warned.

For now, all I plan to do is to throw on a flannel shirt, some tattered overalls, and a floppy fucking hat and stand in the middle of a cornfield for a few days. The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer.

Welcome to autumn, fuckheads!

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/10/20nissan.html

My name is Laura. I have a little boy named Brennan who is just over a month old. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years come November. We work fast!

I have a wonderful kitty named Gojira who is part lynx and has a very squishy nub tail--everyone asks when he lost the rest of his tail, but he never had a long tail to begin with! He's the light of my life and I consider him my first born son. Yeah, I know. I'm cat lady material. I also have a part husky, part boxer dog named Stanley Cup. Yes, we are hockey fans! My boyfriend has limited the amount of pets I can have or else I'd fill the house with reptiles and rescued animals. I had an opossum who killed himself. He crawled into the back of my mini-fridge. I've also had a raccoon. I've had a chipmunk. I've had bunnies, snakes, guinea pigs, hamsters, geckos, lizards of many creeds and colors, birds, you name it! I've tried to save so many birds and rodents who my parent's cats mangled. I feed all the stray animals in my neighborhood, including coyotes, to the chagrin of my neighbors. >:]

I love love LOVE to read.

I live in Indianapolis, Indiana. Not a bad town by any means. Just boring. But clean! I live on the far east side at the edge of the town, where cornfields and countryside begin.

I have a deep, abiding love of video games. I play WoW, although my raid members are upset with me because I haven't logged on since my son was born. Hard to commit when you have a little human completely dependent on you.

I work for my mother, who owns an insurance agency. I do everything I can to keep her organized.

I can't think of anything else to add, so that sums it up!

1. I like bandwagons.
2. Sang in a cathedral boychoir for several years .
2.5 Was never molested.
3. Ran/run sound for numerous plays, live shows, and recordings.
4. Got bored and dropped out of college.
5. Shelved books in a library for a few years.
6. My pops used to own a recording studio and currently owns his own music store.
7. Never broken a bone or needed stitches.
8. Worked as a telemarketer for 6 months despite rarely ever selling anything.
9. Found lots of pot (etc.) hookups working as a telemarketer.
10. My house is filled with instruments that I don't play enough.
11. I've driven 8 cars into the ground.
12. Worked as a pizza guy and again found lots of hookups.
13. Play here and there with an improv band with a revolving cast.
14. Was once caught doing naughty things in a park.
15. Had a rat tail when I was 7.
16. Had a mullet when I was 13.
17. Had my hand slammed in the hatch of an 80's Honda Civic when I was a kid.
18. Believed in Santa till I realized he used the exact same wrapping paper as my parents.
19. Built a few awesome cornfield hideouts.
20. Lost my glasses in the snow one winter only to find them 3 months later unharmed.
21. Had my entire CD collection stolen, twice.
22. Listen to NPR all the time, though have never donated.
23. Terrible bowler.
24. Dreamed of being an architect and drew house and building designs in notebooks for years.
25. Went to caucus for Kucinich, but instead sat for Obama in Iowa after no one else showed up.

Cheers for that K He's gone into hiding. Totally distraught that i'd got to 100 before him, he unfortunately took the cutting himself a little too far this time. As far as I last knew, he was rocking in a cornfield 4 miles out of Lincoln, talking to a cow who he called "mom", debating the power of a female sifter in a male sifting world. Dark times...

Not bad, and I like Steve McQueen... but something feels wrong about a guy ploughing through cornfield to build a road for a muscle car.

Still, upvote nonetheless.

Vote you back into the cornfield day....

they are still there MG...wish'em into the cornfield..

..looks like a buncha cows in a feed lot....what kind of zoo keeps rodents??? Imagine these guys the size of Volkswagons, traveling en-masse across Kansas, ravaging cornfields like locusts......it could happen.

no absolute time, no absolute space

it's all there in the cosmic cornfields i tell you..SHIT my hands have turned into trees!