/facepalm

I get the whole "let's come up with cool ideas to save the planet", but this is kinda stupid...

"Oh honey, can you get some celery from the fridge!"
/looks outside at hailstorm

If you want a damn root cellar, build a root cellar when you build your house...

So i'm doing a 10 day juice fast where i drink between 6 and 8 (16 oz) glasses of juice per day.

Each day i juice:
3-4 bunches of kale
3-4 apples
3-4 lemons
12-16 stalks of celery
6-8 carrots
Total daily calories 875-1250
and the great thing is im not hungry at all.

Hobbit Hole Breakfast: Two eggs fried right into the center of grilled Cheddar bun halves. Served with two strips of bacon and crispy hash browns topped with melted shredded Cheddar cheese and bacon.

Shire Sausage Skillet: Shire sausage with seasoned red-skinned potatoes, sautéed mushrooms and fire-roasted peppers and onions served on a sizzling skillet. Topped with shredded Cheddar cheese and two eggs.

Frodo's Pot Roast Skillet: Slow-cooked pot roast, herb-roasted carrots, celery, mushrooms and onions over broccoli and seasoned red-skinned potatoes served on a hot sizzling skillet. Topped with shredded Cheddar cheese and served with dinner bread.

The Ring Burger: A hand-pressed burger topped with Pepper Jack cheese, bacon, sautéed mushrooms and mayo on a grilled Cheddar cheese bun. Crowned with three crispy onion rings and served with lettuce, tomato, red onions, pickles and a side of wavy-cut French fries.

Gandalf's Gobble Melt: Tender sliced turkey breast and savory stuffing topped with melted Swiss cheese placed on grilled potato bread with a cranberry honey mustard spread. Served with your choice of side and gravy for dipping.

Dwarves' Turkey & Dressing Dinner: Tender sliced turkey breast, savory stuffing, gravy and cranberry sauce served with your choice of two sides and dinner bread. Feeds a band of Dwarves. Or one hungry human.....or Bear.

Lonely Mountain Treasure: Seed Cake French Toast cut into nine squares and served with a side of cream cheese icing for dipping.

Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies: Six bite-sized round red velvet Pancake Puppies® made with white chocolate chips and sprinkled with powdered sugar. Served with a side of cream cheese icing for dipping.

Bilbo's Berry Smoothie: Made with a delicious blend of raspberries, blueberries, pomegranate and nonfat yogurt.

Lone-Lands Campfire Cookie Milk Shake: A thick hand-dipped milk shake with a delicious blend of premium vanilla ice cream and s'mores cookie pieces topped with a dollop of whipped cream. Served with a little extra in the tin.

>> ^solecist:

how can i trust a man who keeps calling his middle finger his index finger? he's clearly mentally unstable. now if you excuse me, i am going to go cut celery MY way. that is, with reckless disregard for the safety of my appendages.


Yeah I see your point, but give the technique a try. I use to just hold celery in the palm of my hand and stab at it. I find that this way reduces hospital bills.

how can i trust a man who keeps calling his middle finger his index finger? he's clearly mentally unstable. now if you excuse me, i am going to go cut celery MY way. that is, with reckless disregard for the safety of my appendages.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'paul rudd, paul, rudd, computer, nude tayne, drinking coffee, work, Tim and Eric' to 'paul rudd, paul, rudd, computer, nude tayne, celery man, work, Tim and Eric' - edited by marinara

Don't be such a square, daddy-o, here have a stalk of only slightly dirty celery and be groovy.
>> ^BoneRemake:

HIppies piss me off.
These hippies not so much. but for fuck sakes, cut your hair and shave ya flippin love wrangler.

>> ^xxovercastxx:

>> ^Truckchase:
Why would anyone write a virus that targets less than a 5% desktop user base?
Because it would also target about 80% of all web servers?
Why tamper with kitchen faucets when you can poison the water supply?
talks

Absolutely! That's a different attack vector though; this vid is addressing client side desktop infection. (DDOS bot, "security" blackmail, etc.)

Edit: That said though, great point. It is odd that so much effort goes into client infection. It's unfortunate that default firewalling tech on any client isn't to a L7 packet inspection level yet. It would seem to make any client an easier target. mmmmm..._Computers

Tags for this video have been changed from 'Clery, buffalo wings, fnd films' to 'Celery, buffalo wings, fnd films' - edited by Trancecoach

Heh...it is Salary, though.
Otherwise he would be wearing a celery costume, not a business suit.

Celery man NOT Salary!!

Couch Cushion Stew

Ingredients
1/4 pound of cubed couch cushion
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
4 cups water
1 teaspoon dried rosemary
1 teaspoon dried parsley
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
3 large potatoes, peeled and cubed
4 carrots, cut into 1 inch pieces
4 stalks celery, cut into 1 inch pieces
1 large onion, chopped
2 teaspoons cornstarch
2 teaspoons cold water

Directions

1.In a large pot or dutch oven, cook couch cushion in oil over medium heat until gooey. Stir in rosemary, parsley and pepper. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat, cover and simmer 1 hour.
2.Stir potatoes, carrots, celery, and onion into the pot. Dissolve cornstarch in 2 teaspoons cold water and stir into stew. Cover and simmer 1 hour more.

How I keeps my turkey moist.

1. Put an orange, some carrot and celery sticks and an onion inside the cavity of the bird.
2. Rub the skin with butter. Cut a few small holes so the butter can get inside.
3. Cover the turkey with strips of bacon. (as a bonus, you get to eat the bacon when you are done, or put in into your green beans or stuffing)

This is one of those posts you click on to see WTF the fuss is about.

Related videos:

Jon Peters Buys a Volvo
Richard Hammond Likes Celery
Lara Logan Doesn't Trust Asians

>> ^Unsung_Hero:

Am I too late to make a penis reference joke or are they all used up?


My talent is that I can guess the distance from a woman's lips to the back of her throat using only a hammer. (The hammer is my penis.)