Newt, you don't know the half of it. The reason they need a bail-out? Two words, my friend: stock buybacks.

Back in '16, good ol' AA was ~$20 BILLION in debt. Yes, their DEBT was larger than the GDP of some nations. Bad situation, right? What to do, what to do -- HEY! I got it! Let's spend NINE FUCKING BILLION on stock buybacks. In doing so, they turned $5b in reserve cash into $550 million. Trump himself couldn't have fucked this up worse if he tried.

It gets worse. Here, I will quote from Forbes:

"The numbers boggle the mind. American Airlines spent nearly three times its current value on stock buybacks over the last six years."

It gets even worse from there.

Over the last ten years, AA spent ~$13b on stock buybacks. You know what their free cash flow was over the same 10-year period?

-$7,935 million.

That's not a typo. Their free cash flow, unique among all major airlines, is NEGATIVE. The number on their -negative- cash flow is greater than the -positive- cash flows of Jet Blue and Alaska combined.

Guess where that money went?

Shareholders? Nope.
Employees? Nope.
Improvements to the business as a whole? Nuh-uh.

If you guessed "The CEO's pocket", you win a $4 Snickers bar. If you also suspect that any bailout will end up in the same place, I'm throwing in a free Baby Ruth or an Abbazabba (your choice).

That's right: your tax-paying American ass is going to bail out these cocksuckers not to save jobs -- no fucking chance in Hell that's going to happen -- but to make Doug fucking Parker, an asshole of utterly legendary proportions who made $11.5 MILLION in 2019 thanks to those buybacks, even fucking richer.

There's not enough Prep-H in the world to compensate for that level of ass-fucking. And you WILL smile when you're getting raped, otherwise it's getting stuffed in your mouth afterwards.

(BTW: when they started this financial cocksuckery, AA was ~$60 a share. On Friday, it closed just below $13. Dough Parker still made money. The funds, including pension funds, who invested in AA @ $60? Not so much.)

She just dropped a baby ruth, it's no big deal.

Good thing Chunk only gave him a Baby Ruth.

[edit] Really? This comment got a downvote?

Anyone else expecting to hear "Baby Ruth!" a'la Goonies around 2:54 in?

I'd add more definition to the two logs; right now, it looks like your trying to hock two Baby Ruths. Give them a few of the sphincter squeeze marks. That, or replace them with the classic danish-shaped Cool-Whipped version. People will get the #2 reference.

I can't believe I'm actually offering artistic advice on how to draw shit better.

Pardon my intolerance


I hate McGuyver like I hate jazz and kittens. And don't mistake my humor, just because you don't get it, eater of Baby Ruth.

Hey, the woman in this clip is the Baby Ruth Girl from Caddyshack.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'the goonies baby ruth steven speilberg corey feldman' to 'the goonies, baby ruth, steven speilberg, corey feldman' - edited by MarineGunrock

Baby Ruth has more peanuts that are more readily accessible. Brilliant squirrels! Makes me want to set up something in my yard to toy with the suckers I have. I own two Dachshunds and they keep the guys off the lawn but there is now a whole perimeter around our yard that the squirrels can travel. Through the trees, up to the roof, over to the porch, on to other trees and into another yard or around again in back. Neatly avoiding our puppies...

He's not so intelligent... he picked a Baby Ruth over a Snickers!