Hello my dear. My roller derby baby. My thinks too much Cleopatra.

It is imperative that you be happy.

I guess...nobody sent you the memorandum.

Well, here I am...again...making up for the screwed up priorities of the world....

To remind you...how wonderful you are.

And how, with every sunrise that you see, I can breath more easily.

Ah! Relax. She's still here.

The world hasn't ended yet.

This is pretty good, though not as awesome as this one from McSweeny's: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/3/4gavaler.html

Man at a video store is trying to rent The Day After Tomorrow, Before Sunset, Seven, After Hours, 48 Hours, Ten, and Before Sunrise

Hilarity ensues.

I prefer http://www.videosift.com/video/Eagles-Tequila-Sunrise-live

I always hate when the sun comes out and ruins the sunrise.

I've been to all those places and then some. The wife and kid are going to Japan to see the wife's family this week and staying for some 3 weeks. I was to go, but had to cancel due to work obligations. I am rather upset about it actually.

If you get a chance. Go. Miyajima is very beautiful. If you time it right, you can see some amayzing 'No' plays. Go up the big hill there to see the monkeys. I spent a night in the area. It is worth it. Easy access to Hiroshima across the water. See the war museum (a humbling experience). Try Hiroshima style Okonomiyaki for lunch. Great stuff.

Fuji was also a wonderful trip. I spent 4 days at a Ryokan. Amazing traditional food. Bathhouse, and everywhere in was views of the mountain. From the room, the bathhouse, everywhere. Expensive, but worth every single darn penny. Also went up Fuji for some CRAZY panoramas. You do not have to go to the top to get amazing views. Easy to get a bus ride up to about the half way mark. Great for the young or old, or those who cannot hike the mountain. Shelter and services are there. Don't be fooled. It is a HUGE mountain you will be above the cloud line most likely. See the sunrise. It is something to not be missed. Scream banzai as the sun rises (leave the old WW2 movie prejudices behind.. shouting banzai has nothing to do with dive bombing).

Other places to see. Kyoto (temples, Maiko dance), Himeji (amazing castle), Nara (giant Buddha, temples, and wandering deer). If you can.. go west towards Beppu and Nagasaki. The Kyushu area has the best natural hot spas. Nagasaki has great seafood and fusion with Chinese and Dutch influences. The war museum is also a must stop. Learn a bit about the US and Australian POW's interned in a camp there that were killed by the 'bomb', which we in the west simply do not learn about in school.

Learn a bit of the language, absorb the culture. Have fun. It is easier to get around Japan than you realize. Most major train lines and roads in the larger cities have English lettering to help tourists.

Food isn't that expensive, and bargain hotels can be found easily enough. Even better if you know a local to tour you around!

"I'm not very good at singing songs"

No, but you sure could write some beautiful poetry:

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch

You must first invent the universe

Space is filled with a network of wormholes

You might emerge somewhere else in space

Some when-else in time

The sky calls to us

If we do not destroy ourselves

We will one day venture to the stars

A still more glorious dawn awaits

Not a sunrise, but a galaxy rise

A morning filled with 400 billion suns

The rising of the milky way

The Cosmos is full beyond measure of elegant truths

Of exquisite interrelationships

Of the awesome machinery of nature

I believe our future depends powerfully

On how well we understand this cosmos

In which we float like a mote of dust

In the morning sky

But the brain does much more than just recollect

It inter-compares, it synthesizes, it analyzes

it generates abstractions

The simplest thought like the concept of the number one

Has an elaborate logical underpinning

The brain has it's own language

For testing the structure and consistency of the world

[Hawking]

For thousands of years

People have wondered about the universe

Did it stretch out forever

Or was there a limit

From the big bang to black holes

From dark matter to a possible big crunch

Our image of the universe today

Is full of strange sounding ideas

[Sagan]

How lucky we are to live in this time

The first moment in human history

When we are in fact visiting other worlds

The surface of the earth is the shore of the cosmic ocean

Recently we've waded a little way out

And the water seems inviting

Hah! Thanks for the homage, youngster...*way to flex your cognitive core!

*bizzaro analogies, way farther out than mine-:)$(:

In reply to this comment by thinker247:
It's a Miracle of Kurt Russell proportions, I tell ya...nothing to see here but a buncha loonies spitting fire all over the electric desert highway, anyway. Whaddya think about that, go figure...and as such ya got nothing more'n a cap'n's chance in Hell, no matter. Bringin'im all the way back from the dead like Lazarus on a Texas sunrise!

It's a Miracle of Kurt Russell proportions, I tell ya...nothing to see here but a buncha loonies spitting fire all over the electric desert highway, anyway. Whaddya think about that, go figure...and as such ya got nothing more'n a cap'n's chance in Hell, no matter. Bringin'im all the way back from the dead like Lazarus on a Texas sunrise!

>> ^asynchronice:
Is skateboarding seriously illegal anywhere in San Francisco ? If so, that's ridiculous.


From the City and County of San Francisco Board of Supervisors' web site [emphasis mine]:

a) Prohibits skateboarding on any city street at any time, on any sidewalk in any business district at any time, and on any non-business district sidewalk commencing 30 minutes after sunset and ending 30 minutes before sunrise (Traffic Code, Section 100)

b) Prohibits skateboarding "in or about any public transit station (including an outdoor high-level boarding platform), streetcar, cable car, motor coach, trolley coach or other public transit vehicle, including, but not limited to, those stations or vehicles operated by the Bay Area Rapid Transit District" (Traffic Code, Section 128)

c) Prohibits skateboarding in Yerba Buena Gardens, the Japanese Tea Garden, the Arboretum, Conservatory Valley, where it is posted as prohibited, and in South Beach Park or Rincon Park unless otherwise permitted (Park Code Sections 3.05 and 11.02 and Port Code Sections 2.4 and 7.2).

d) Requires skateboarders at skating facilities owned or operated by the City and County to wear helmets, kneepads, and elbow pads (Park Code Section 4.17).

M'eh. The Iranian election was as predictable as the sunrise. The extremists who are in charge wanted "The Shrimp" re-elected and that's exactly what happened. Aslan can talk about diplomacy all he wants, but it is meaningless. Diplomacy with Iran has very little to do with whichever bozo gets the gig after their so-called 'elections'.

Proof positive in the pudding... Isreal. Netenyahu pretty much spiked any chance of a treaty with just ONE simple, reasonable little phrase... "Recognize Isreal as a Jewish state..." The hubub in the circles of 'diplomacy' is that such a pre-condition makes any hope of an agreement absolutely and unequivocally impossible. The only solution that will be accepted by the political world of the Middle East is the annihilation of Isreal as a state and the expulsion of all Jews from the region.

Now – how do you engage in ‘diplomacy’ with a position that is so extreme? Obama can make all the pointless speeches he wants, and a few eggheads like this guy might think he’s brilliant. They are all missing the point completely, which is sadly not atypical when this topic comes up. The point is that militant Islamists are the ones in charge and there is no possible way to successfully negotiate with a pack of half-insane, religious extremists whose only desired outcome is annihilation.

"Surf, turf, and the tequila sunrise scheme...."

I've always liked Ze.

He's got some real classics on his site.

♫ Who can take a sunrise - sprinkle it with douche...♪

Allright, here´s a long story for your entertainment and pleasure:

Two years ago I'm walking back from a friend´s place in Brooklyn.
When I'm under the Williamsburgh bridge I see two guys maybe 20 mts behind me. I didn't think it would be anything, like, just people on the street.
Still, a sixth sense makes me walk as fast as I can, which is not much due to a motorcycle disaster that happened exactly six months before that night, and there is a bunch of titanium here and there.

As I approach the door on the place where I'm staying, a B&B called The Guest House, I'm faced with a dillema of which lock to try first, the multi-lock or the knob lock. As sometimes the multi is not locked, I go for the knob first. Doesnt work and the two guys corner me by the door.

They were both black, light skinned and nearly stereotypically dressed in oversized basketball clothes, one has a doorag and the other a unibrow.

The first one shows me a gun and say in a manner that is not encouraging:
"DONT TURN THIS INTO A HOMICIDE"
To which i reply
"YOU dont turn this into a homicide!"
He shouts "OPEN the door!"

As if I wasn't scared enough I get this feeling that once inside the situation would escalate. They would be in there, with a gun, no hurry, and could rape, kill, rob and who knows what. Plus if someone sees them getting in and call the police I'd be in a hostage situation.

So the guy shouts again OPEN THE DOOR
and stalling for time I reply "please don't hurt me", exaggerating a fear that was there anyway.
He takes the keys from my hands and tries to open the door himself. He doesn't manage.

He point the gun at me and now he is angry.
"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR NOW!!!!!"
To which my big mouth replies "you have the keys, man, just open the door!"
He tries a bit more, the other guy takes my wallet and phone from my pockets.
As I´m turned to the guy opening the door the other one hits me in the face so hard that I had a hard time eating for months.
I didn't see it coming so i couldn't even flinch, full hit.
As I get a hold of myself they are gone.

I stay five minutes without moving and then I get in.
I tried to see if there is anyone at home but no one answers. I call the house cat but the cat doesn't come. Some cat therapy would have been nice at that point. I go to my room and (luckily) only then I start suffering from delayed courage, and decide to go out. I changed my red shirt into a black one, put my wolverine coat, hand making in my pocket making a "menacing" volume and go out to search for discarded items. The logic is, if they see me out again with a volume in my pocket they would think I'm crazy and might have a gun. I soon realize the fragility of my logic, as well as my own and go back inside. I cant sleep. I sit in the bed until sunrise and sleep dressed for two hours.

Then I called the police. Police officers like to chitchat. "Oh, many stamps in your passport. you travel a lot. You travel Varig? I used to refuel varig airplanes before becoming a cop." After they leave I go to work. I repeat the route from the previous night and I find my phone. I cancelled the credit cards so pretty much I got beaten up for ten dollars.

Later that day the police calls and make me go to the precinct. I was surprised that they like to play good cop bad cop with the victim too.

angry cop: why you called this morning instead of last night!?
me: I had no phone and was really shaken by the experience! sorry!
Calm cop: it's ok, no big deal
angry cop: did you drink? Were you drinking?
me: I drank some wine but was fine!!!
calm cop: hey, thats fine.

And after that they hold me for hours while I look at mugshots on a computer screen that displays six pictures at a time, takes a minute to load the next six, and had a lot of repeated pictures. I Do not believe in anthropometry, but boy those people were ugly. I wonder if they were so ugly they couldn't get a job and resorted to crime. Or maybe good-looking criminals get arrested less often?

I ask the detective what were the chances of me actually being shot there.
He says: "well, we have around five fatal shootings a year in that neighborhood."
That´s probably what we have in a single DAY in Sao Paulo and I was never mugged there. On the other hand it means one fatal shooting every two months, so it could very well have been my turn.

The detective then says "I'd say you had a 50-50 chance of being shot. If you reacted and the gun was real (and wouldn't it be real, in THIS country?) they would likely shoot me. So I´m glad about the delayed courage and the delayed strategy of wrestling for the gun and kick the living shit out of them.

I have to say it was a bit humiliating being robbed in NY, like being a statistical oddity.

HA!  Your time will come, my friend.  Your time will come.


In reply to this comment by Edeot:
If it weren't for you I'd have the number one video right now.

I think it's best if you just get outta town before sunrise.

If it weren't for you I'd have the number one video right now.

I think it's best if you just get outta town before sunrise.