Maybe we missed the seventeen rednecks sitting behind the camera man? ROR.

"I was once a prosecutor. I am now a Senator. But I have always been a fan of movies. My cameo in the latest Batman movie, The Dark Knight, was priceless to me, but we can put real numbers on the value of that production to the economy. The Dark Knight shot for 65 days in Chicago, pouring almost $36 million into the local economy. Seventeen million dollars went to nearly 800 local vendors that were critical to the production of the movie. For example, one local lumber supplier employing 40 people played a central role in the set construction that helped transform Chicago into the mythical “Gotham City.” In order to fulfill the production needs of the film, the lumber company worked closely with 15 other Illinois-based companies. Those 15 suppliers employed an additional 350 workers." from http://leahy.senate.gov/press/200807/072408a.html ...

Here's a round up of everyone's fromage submissions, last chance to upvote if you've missed something. I'll be announcing the winners in about 15 hours or so, bloody time zones...

Laura

http://www.videosift.com/video/Ashford-Simpson-Solid
http://www.videosift.com/video/Debbie-Gibson-Lost-In-Your-Eyes

alien_concept

http://www.videosift.com/video/Chesney-Hawkes-The-One-And-Only
http://www.videosift.com/video/Kylie-Minogue-And-Jason-Donovan-Especially-For-You

Thylan

http://www.videosift.com/video/Bryan-Adams-Heaven
http://www.videosift.com/video/Lighthouse-Family-Lifted
http://www.videosift.com/video/Simply-Red-Fairground
http://www.videosift.com/video/2-Unlimited-No-limit

dystopianfuturetoday

http://www.videosift.com/video/Shatner-sings-Mr-Tambourine-Man
http://www.videosift.com/video/Mathew-Wilder-Break-My-Stride-Unlive-on-Solid-Gold
http://www.videosift.com/video/Brecker-Brothers-Some-Skunk-Funk
http://www.videosift.com/video/Sykotic-Sinfony-Manic-Depresso
http://www.videosift.com/video/Debbie-Deb-Look-Out-Weekend

mintbbb

http://www.videosift.com/video/Michael-Bolton-How-Am-I-Supposed-To-Live-Without-Cheese
http://www.videosift.com/video/Princess-Stephanie-of-Monaco-Irresistable-1986
http://www.videosift.com/video/George-Michael-Careless-Whisper

firefly

http://www.videosift.com/video/Air-Supply-Making-Love-Out-Of-Nothing-At-All
http://www.videosift.com/video/More-superhero-cheese-Spidey-Meets-The-Yeti
http://www.videosift.com/video/The-Cyrkle-Red-Rubber-Ball
http://www.videosift.com/video/Peter-Cetera-The-Glory-of-Love
http://www.videosift.com/video/Theres-Got-To-Be-A-Morning-After
http://www.videosift.com/video/Have-You-Never-Been-Mellloooooww
http://www.videosift.com/video/Rockwell-Somebodys-Watching-Me-1
http://www.videosift.com/video/Lois-and-Superman-Can-You-Read-My-Mind

thinker247

http://www.videosift.com/video/Lois-and-Superman-Can-You-Read-My-Mind

Don_Juan

http://www.videosift.com/video/How-to-sew-on-a-button


kronosposeidon

http://www.videosift.com/video/Winger-Seventeen
http://www.videosift.com/video/Culture-Club-Do-You-Really-Want-To-Hurt-Me
http://www.videosift.com/video/Phil-Collins-One-More-Night
http://www.videosift.com/video/Dead-Or-Alive-Brand-New-Lover
http://www.videosift.com/video/Tiffany-I-Think-Were-Alone-Now

kulpims

http://www.videosift.com/video/Bele-Vrane-Hey-girl

Eklek

http://www.videosift.com/video/Steklovata-Novii-God-New-Year-1
http://www.videosift.com/video/Sandra-Maria-Magdalena-1985

Zonbie

http://www.videosift.com/video/Scooch-Flying-The-Flag-Of-CHEESE-For-You
http://www.videosift.com/video/David-hasselhoff-Our-First-Night-Together-Knight-Rider
http://www.videosift.com/video/David-Hasselhoff-Crazy-for-Cheeeese-You

MarineGunrock

http://www.videosift.com/video/Darth-Vader-Explains-Pythagorean-Theorem

Because of your Cheeeeeeeeesefest, I might need an alibi. Watch the news:

http://www.videosift.com/video/Sarah-Palins-daughter-pregnant

Then check out what I posted BEFORE the news broke:

http://www.videosift.com/video/Winger-Seventeen

As Bill Clinton would eloquently put it, I did not have sex with that woman.

No need for the dems to point and laugh. Everyone else will.

Here's the campaign's new theme song: http://www.videosift.com/video/Winger-Seventeen

As long as we're all pimping our wares:

http://www.videosift.com/video/Winger-Seventeen
http://www.videosift.com/video/Dead-Or-Alive-Brand-New-Lover
http://www.videosift.com/video/Culture-Club-Do-You-Really-Want-To-Hurt-Me
http://www.videosift.com/video/Phil-Collins-One-More-Night
http://www.videosift.com/video/Tiffany-I-Think-Were-Alone-No

NOBODY out-cheeses ME!

In light of the premature evacuation of our MC and Roastee, I will close this Roast at this 72-hour mark. It has been over seventeen hours since the last comment by a roaster, so I will assume no other roasters planned to speak.

Thank you to all the sifters that participated.


Rest in Peace, Roast IX.


We are now in Post Roast.

Sorry for the double post, but I wanted each joke to have its own rating.

A New York banker is working diligently at First National when a blonde woman walks in and applies for a $5000 loan.

"What do you need the money for?" the banker asks her.

"I'm leaving for California tomorrow, and I'll be on vacation for two weeks," she replies.

"Tomorrow?" The banker questions. "I don't know if we can do that -- After all, we need time to run a credit check on you."

"Oh, don't worry about that," she replies cheerfully. "My Lexus is parked in the lot; I'll put that up for collateral."

The banker, realizing the value of her car well exceeds the amount of the loan, agrees to the deal and the woman goes on her way. Her Lexus is taken to a secure lot where the bank staff keeps a close eye on it, parking it in the shade and even giving it a throurough wash to keep it clean. In two weeks the woman returns as promised, repaying the loan plus interest, totalling $5017.41.

"Thank you for your business," the banker says. "Our staff will bring your car around in a few minutes, but in the meantime, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead," the woman replies.

"While you were away, we went ahead and ran a credit check on you anyways. To our surprise, we found that you had a couple million dollars in assets and are generally very well off. So why did you need a five-thousand dollar loan from us?"

"Where else in New York does two weeks parking cost only seventeen dollars and forty-one cents?"

Actually, EIA is only for deaths before procreation. After all, if somebody does something moronic and dies, but they have seventeen children to pass on their retard genes, it's not EIA. And if a childless person does something moronic and lives, they still have the ability to pass on their genes, unless the EIA in question removes their sex organs.

Also, stupidity is actually a positive attribute for evolution, since stupid people are more likely to have many children, at a younger age, than intelligent people. Especially when you go a few generations into the future. In regards to survival of the fittest, "fittest" in this case means "fit to pass on genes for survival of the lineage."

So this is not EIA at all. Unless the act of twisting the camera caused the childless cameraman to herniate his sex organs into oblivion.

this piece has jumps of seventeen keys (more than two octaves) played as runs and trills of sixteenth notes, the upper note of which is that bell-like sound you hear. the video doesn't do justice to the astounding speed, dexterity, and accuracy his right hand has in making those jumps consistently and quickly. at 1:40 there's a third note added in between the jump.

Sixteen military wives
Thirty-two softly focused brightly colored eyes
Staring at the natural tan
of thirty-two gently clenching wrinkled little hands
Seventeen company men
Out of which only twelve will make it back again
Sergeant sends a letter to five
Military wives, whose tears drip down through ten little eyes

Cheer them on to their rivals
Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so
It's so!

And the anchorperson on TV goes...
La de da de da

Fifteen celebrity minds
Leading their fifteen sordid wretched checkered lives
Will they find the solution in time
Using their fifteen pristine moderate liberal minds?

Eighteen academy chairs
Out of which only seven really even care
Doling out the garland to five
Celebrity minds, they're humbly taken by surprise

Cheer them on to their rivals
Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so
It's so!

And the anchorperson on TV goes...
La de da de da de-dadedade-da
La de da de da de-dadedade-da

Fourteen cannibal kings
Wondering blithely what the dinner bell will bring
Fifteen celebrity minds
Served on a leafy bed OF sixteen military wives

Cheer them on to their rivals
Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so
It's so!

And the anchorperson on TV goes...
La de da de da de-dadedade-da
La de da de da de-dadedade-da

Sixteen military wives
Thirty-two softly focused brightly colored eyes
Staring at the natural tan
of thirty-two gently clenching wrinkled little hands
Seventeen company men
Out of which only twelve will make it back again
Sergeant sends a letter to five
Military wives, whose tears drip down through ten little eyes

Cheer them on to their rivals
Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so
It's so!

And the anchorperson on TV goes...
La de da de da

Fifteen celebrity minds
Leading their fifteen sordid wretched checkered lives
Will they find the solution in time
Using their fifteen pristine moderate liberal minds?

Eighteen academy chairs
Out of which only seven really even care
Doling out the garland to five
Celebrity minds, they're humbly taken by surprise

Cheer them on to their rivals
Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so
It's so!

And the anchorperson on TV goes...
La de da de da de-dadedade-da
La de da de da de-dadedade-da

Fourteen cannibal kings
Wondering blithely what the dinner bell will bring
Fifteen celebrity minds
Served on a leafy bed OF sixteen military wives

Cheer them on to their rivals
Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so
It's so!

And the anchorperson on TV goes...
La de da de da de-dadedade-da
La de da de da de-dadedade-da

OMG! what an ideot that man... tantrik called on SANGO (THE gods of thunder).Within the 7 market days,he will send thunder to him and distroy his family and leanage.from 2day,he is cursed and will start getting bad OMENS , ACCIDENTS , ILL HEALTHS.....and various plagues named in the SEVENTEEN BOOKS OF KARATAKA.

TANTRIKS WORK WITH BLACK MAGIC AND SO DO I.DON'T THINK I ENTER THE INTERNET DOING THIS ORDINARILY.YOU ATEISTS HAVE OVERSTEPED YOUR BOUNDARYS BY LAUGHING AT HIGH MAGICIANS.BY THE TIME I TENDER YOUR CASE TO THE CHIEF PRIEST,YOU WILL ALL REGRET EVER BEING BORN.

YOU ARE DOOMED FOREVER."EMI NI MO SO BE,O DE MA SEBE.LAIKPE LAI JINA.".OLORUN MU BABA E LENI YI."

Nothing personal, DFT, but I hated this vid the first seventeen times it was sifted, and I still hate it now. Downvoted.

That's hilarious! I wish I'd seen this before you had to requeue seventeen thousand times.