I don't even know where to start replying to your many comments. Do you seriously want me to justify my claim that religion should promote tolerance and reason with scripture? I could do it, but it would take me hours to explain all of doctrine to you. I have indeed both read and studied The Bible on my own, in over five religious courses and one secular, and in two courses at the university level. I am traveling to Jerusalem in January to further study The Old and New Testaments. I am not one of those people who think that you can prove anything about The Bible by quoting a few scriptures. I have no desire to argue with a person who makes points that I have already made (as if I disagree with you about them), and who answers with essays that don't even seem to be a direct rebuttal for me, but for all of Christianity. It annoys me when people assume things about what I believe, and it further annoys me when you say things like, "That is the problem. Everybody gets to interpret scripture how they want to," and then proceed to interpret The Bible as you want, in order to make a point. You can't dismiss biblical interpretation as arbitrary and then make definitive statements about how it supports slavery, torture, forcing women to marry their brothers-in-law, etc. That's just ridiculous.

I hope that I don't sound too hostile. I have a very fiery temperament, but I assure you that it's all in good fun and that I do appreciate your comments and enjoy heated discussions. I think that you are an intelligent person and that you made good points, but what am I supposed to do with that quagmire that you gave me, honestly? I don't have that kind of time nor stamina.

Would be nice if someone edited this together with the scene earlier in the episode when the guys find out Quagmire didn't know about internet porn.

*edit
like here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NhTRhOd1WQ

Successfully processed your "amazon" invocation - view all Amazonized posts here

I'm an enigma wrapped in a creep wrapped in a chronic masturbator.

In reply to this comment by Phooz:
I love how gwiz665 is talking about growing more and more left handed and his profile pick is of Dr. Orpheus giving the crazy eyes with his left hand in a conspicuous position. Just made me laugh out loud!

>> ^deathcow:
I use a trackball, but for my hands still the mouse.


Sounds painfull.

>> ^brycewi19:
You know you can switch your mouse to your left hand, too.


Ahhhh, but I would lose the precision pointer navigation required during... ahem... my sessions, as does gwiz.

Your video, Family Guy - Quagmire discovers Internet Porn, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

>> ^bmacs27:
Ok... I'm a graduate student advised by a member of the national academy of sciences. You don't need to talk to me about belief without evidence. You assumed my belief.
What you may or may not understand about science is the concept of a prior probability. Any confirmation of a hypothesis involves first the assignment of a prior probability to that hypothesis. That's simply Bayes rule. That is, some hypotheses are more tenable than others prior to the collection of data. All I'm saying is that I'm more open to a "conspiracy theory" of the sort that involves a small number of actors, or willful inaction on the part of someone like Dick Cheney. Such a hypothesis is much more likely, and more deserving of testing, than hypotheses about magic shows that somehow duped thousands of witnesses. Ignoring that fact is as much a religion as persistent belief in detonation squads. Do I need to remind you of how the gulf of Tonkin incident dragged us into a quagmire in Vietnam?
Dick Cheney absolutely had the say as to whether or not that plane gets shot down, as he was the highest ranking official in Washington. He was in the presidential emergency operations bunker at the time. He could have made the call, and didn't. Frankly, because of him, our enemies world wide know that they can hit the epicenter of our military operations. No amount of water boarding or genital electrocution is going to reinstate the security compromised by that one fact.


If you really believe this nonsense, I can't have a real conversation with you. You really believe that Dick Cheney, knowing in advance (either on the day or having been part of the grand conspiracy) that Flight 77 was going to hit the Pentagon, sat back and did nothing, in order to further his political ends? How would you go about proving a hypothesis like that? Or is this just something you will believe no matter what because it is essentially unprovable?

Ok... I'm a graduate student advised by a member of the national academy of sciences. You don't need to talk to me about belief without evidence. You assumed my belief.

What you may or may not understand about science is the concept of a prior probability. Any confirmation of a hypothesis involves first the assignment of a prior probability to that hypothesis. That's simply Bayes rule. That is, some hypotheses are more tenable than others prior to the collection of data. All I'm saying is that I'm more open to a "conspiracy theory" of the sort that involves a small number of actors, or willful inaction on the part of someone like Dick Cheney. Such a hypothesis is much more likely, and more deserving of testing, than hypotheses about magic shows that somehow duped thousands of witnesses. Ignoring that fact is as much a religion as persistent belief in detonation squads. Do I need to remind you of how the gulf of Tonkin incident dragged us into a quagmire in Vietnam?

Dick Cheney absolutely had the say as to whether or not that plane gets shot down, as he was the highest ranking official in Washington. He was in the presidential emergency operations bunker at the time. He could have made the call, and didn't. Frankly, because of him, our enemies world wide know that they can hit the epicenter of our military operations. No amount of water boarding or genital electrocution is going to reinstate the security compromised by that one fact.

Open letter to people who think American could succeed in an invasion and occupation of the Dominion of Canada.



Dear loser,

I'd love to see America, launch an attack on Canada, and hold our vast country, which is flipping really cold for most of the year. Canadian Soldiers are well trained modern day combat troops. They train for winter warfare / survival. American soldier huddling in -45 degrees below.

American Soldier: "Hey guys, the unarmored humvee won't start!"
Dude: "Do you have a block heater? It's fucking cold outside."
American Soldier: "What the fuck is a block heater?"
Other Dude: "The thing our military couldn't afford to equip all our vehicles with before they sent us to fight here!"
American Soldier: "Mutha fucking economy!"
Other American Soldier: "Who leaked our massive military renovation of all our vehicles to be able to function in combat situations in a winter weather environment that we couldn't complete in time before we had to sell this war to the idiot public on the prevailing social and political winds??"
First Dude: "Probably someone working on the project that has friends who ARE CANADIAN!"

You couldn't even put protective blast shielding on your vehicles before you ran off to fight in a country that you knew might dissolve into a massive underground campaign of anonymous and sudden violence in close urban combat settings.

By the time that you attempted and failed to route our forces, as you have failed to route men with AK's out of hills in Afghanistan, although you have a much larger force stationed there than we currently have offered to assist you for some idiotic reason and sacrifice our blood for your former political policy, as well as trying to occupy a land mass second only to Russia, with harsh, inhospitable terrain, and a populace utterly hostile, betrayed, and proud people who would, don't get me wrong, some would, but depending on the severity of your attack and occupation of civilian centers, would not help you in any way, as nobody would work, and you would have to pacify all the young men that I know would resist such a thing.

Your country would have lost the domestic, foreign, and political capital to continue to wage war on an obviously peaceful, well liked nation of the world community. Germans, Japanese people, Brits, French dudes, South Americans, North Americans, and people who play on XBox Live would fucking hate you from every corner of the globe. It would be seen as a monumental error in human history, where two well build and structured, peaceful, healthy, and productive nations on this fucked up rock collide and utterly destroy each other. Your nation rich, but divided left and right to the point of riot and civil war, and ours waiting for you to leave and realize that a move such as war would constitute the birth of a new fascist state in the US of A, where occupation and domination are acceptable means of preserving your standard of living.

You think that the left wing half of the country would ever support a war like this? It's unthinkable. You'd destroy and destabilize what is your main trading partner, and sow chaos on the North American continent. With your military withdrawing from Iraq, and losing in Afghanistan, and with your bleak economy, you would become overstretched, your economy may fail, and you lose the ability to defend the territory you destabilized from an advancing Russia, intent on claiming your abandoned natural resources that we deny you access to through arson, sabotage, destruction of oil producing facilities (we could always drill for more in Alberta after everyone leaves our country). You would be forced to patrol and defend disputed territory from Russia, who would, by attacking Canada, promise the local populations freedom in exchange for support, and then conquer Canada themselves. Naturally American acquisition of a short fly over the bearing sea, and a boon of natural resources by force of arms would be seen as a provocative attempt to gain enough oil and space for a staging are to launch and destroy Russian forces while not risking American cities as strategic targets for Russian counterattack.

To operate our facilities, you would need to import skilled labor from the US to fill those positions, unless you hold us at gunpoint and order us to work. You presumably believe that controlling us would be easy after you kill our families and at LEAST take from us our loved ones serving in the military. Outrage and dissent would be rampant for a freedom stolen is a rage born. Name one country that you maintain physical and dictatorial sway over on this globe, with American administrators, and American military personnel patrolling the streets? can you? Iraq, the country you are leaving? Afghanistan, another quagmire for the American empire?

Another thing, While you stay in our cities, please feel free to find yourselves at home with our McDonalds, 7-11's, Suburban Houses, and mounds of Americanized consumer junk that you shovel down our throats. I'm sure the treasure's gathered will be worth it. I'm sure gaining more retail space and warehouses, more empty houses, more mouths to feed and policing our cities, and all those good things that come along with occupation would be worth it. Might provide some jobs though, eh?

Blockade:

America puts a blockade on Canada. Canada withers economically without US assistance. Canada eventually caves.

a: False.

America withers as Canada denies access to drinking water and electricity to large portions of the US, leaving millions of people high and dry in the dark.


"Alliance":
America forms a "security" pact with "Canada", something of a new world order conspiracy theory.

a: Either Or

America is ripped apart internally by Left Wing, and dissent over such a blatant display of the highly unpopular One World Government idea. America could also pull it off, given the state that television has left the brains of all the citizens in both our countries.




Peace

Thanks for that promote! Nothing quite like getting out of a quagmire via breath mints. This Ong-Bak one lines up nicely as well http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8XIGAhVjDk

>> ^kronosposeidon:
Ah, I have a soft spot in my heart for Mentos parodies. Just ask around here if you don't believe me.
promote meme

Obama announces a quagmire in Afghanistan.

Shoe stores must be abundant in the middle east!

tee hee, they called themselves a super power, they got in a quagmire with iraq for those with a short memory (a lot more costly than our war). It is interesting to see the nationalism they have more than our European friends. For us in the USA, we have a profound sense of individualism and "can do" attitude, and it seems they do as well. Can drive a people to do great things if pointed in the right cultural direction.

This was before he was making massive profits from the companies providing the lines of supply for a long drawn out war - Quagmire of Profit maybe


oh and before he was replaced with the reptilian shape shifter...

This video has been declared a duplicate; transferring votes to the original video and killing this dupe - dupeof declared by jwray.