Nothing.

I'm not doing jack.



I am going to sit here and catch up on my LJ friends, peruse videos, wander around the house and maybe eat more food. I'm not, emphatically NOT cleaning anything today. Especially not the vacuum cleaner. It can sit there with dog hairs spewing out the sides for all I care. I'm not emptying the damned thing. Because if I empty the damned thing, then I'll look at the nice clean reservoir and think "well isn't that nice and clean.... when I next vacuum nothing will spew out of the thing and I can get rid of the dog smell..." then I commence to USING the damned vacuum cleaner like an idiot and fill up the reservoir again with dog hair but it's too stupid to just vacuum a 6x6 foot area, I mean you can't just vacuum a small patch and leave the rest to nastiness can you? of course you can't, or I can't anyway, and then the next thing you know I'm vacuuming up the whole freakin house, including areas I normally don't vacuum but once a year (*snort*) like a possessed woman because even though I am vacuuming like a nut I actually don't WANT to be vacuuming at all but it's like the damned thing slides into my body and takes over tripping every single "CLEAN WOMAN, CLEAN!" neuron in my brain and then I'm fargin exhausted from toting that damned cleaner all over this ginormous house and realizing that I haven't done ANY other cleaning because flippin vacuuming is like a black hole of cleaning and without fail not even an hour after I've vacuumed either the dog yaks on the carpet, someone spills something sticky or I just happen to notice MORE animal hairs all over the place because I didn't empty out the reservoir early enough and the damned cleaner wasn't sucking up the hair like I expect it to and thus I must ONCE AGAIN clean out the reservoir and even though I'm cursing my fookin OCD self and saying "just get that one spot, don't go nutso" something in my brain goes haywire and I'm kneeling on the floor scrutinizing the fuggin carpet fibers as if there's some magical way of actually getting all those animal hairs out for good and then waddya know the damned dog is scratching at some minor itch and there's gorram animal hair FOR FLOGGING REAL everywhere now and I look up at the vacuum cleaner that is sitting there with its reservoir full again and I'm thinking that damned cleaner is laughing at me, or else the dog is and I'm about to pull my hair out and I remember something else that I haven't cleaned in ages like the underside of the aquarium stand and oh it's just too damned embarrassing to keep going and I give up and go upstairs to have some more coffee, do you think I should have another cup of coffee? and then I realize it's already 4-foggy-o'clock and the kids will be home, traipsing all manner of outside effluvia all over the house and if I have half a brain I will just go get the baby who is now screaming her head off and go sit in the nursing chair and forget about cleaning anyway.



So, I'm not cleaning anything.

Especially not that damned vacuum cleaner reservoir.