If you're not familiar with the game... try it on www.kingdomofloathing.com. It is free, filled with geeky references, surrealistic humor, haikus and general silliness.



You're fighting an erudite gremlin

This gremlin appears to have gone through some sort of genetic mutation that dramatically increased its intelligence. Sadly, the mutation did nothing for its looks -- it's still a slimy, mottled-green thing with a mouthful of fangs. It looks up at you, croaks "I...wanna...." and then begins speaking in a perfectly enunciated, mellifluous baritone. "I want to talk about what's going on in this junkyard," it says. "It seems that you are intent on engaging in some sort of altercation with me. While I am normally a pacifist, intellectual creature, I must confess that on some level I would really like to eviscerate, decapitate, and quite possibly defenestrate you."

You get the jump on it.

You stab wildly with your batblade. Your form is sloppy, but fortunately stabbing isn't really an exact science. You manage to deal 328 damage. SPLAT! BOINK! ZOT! SPLAT! WHACK! SMACK! WHAMMO! BONK! BOOF! KAPOW!

Iggy Pop delivers a horrorshow tolchok to your opponent's gulliver, doing 5 damage.

Iggy Pop can't think of a nasty trick to pull, so settles for kicking it square in its most sensitive area -- that's right, its ego -- and does 5 damage.

You win the fight!

You gain 46 Meat
Iggy Pop holds out the plastic pumpkin bucket, hoping for extra goodies.

You gain 11 Strongness.
You gain 20 Enchantedness.
You gain 17 Smarm.