An open letter to my roommate.
Fuck you. Why can't you be like our other roommate? Your laptop is ALWAYS on and it's ALWAYS playing a sports cast of some sort. And if your laptop is on, so it your tv, which is on ESPN. Do you REALLY need to watch two different sports casts at the same time? Even when your tv is off you still listen to your sportscast on your laptop. Sure, that's not so bad. But why the fuck did you spend $150 on headphones just to never fucking use them? I don't have a problem with you watching tv at 11 at night. I'm still up. I don't even have a problem with you watching it at midnight, because I'm usually still up. But when it's 2 in the fucking morning, it is COMPLETELY unacceptable to turn that fucking thing on when it's clear that your other roommates are trying to sleep. We're both in bed. We're not on our computers.
HAVE SOME FUCKING RESPECT AND SHUT THAT SHIT OFF. It's not even the fact that it's on is so bad. It's that you listen to it as if you lost your fucking hearing aid.
Then there's your showers. I understand that a man has needs. I understand that when you're fat and ugly and you live in the barracks the only way of satisfying those needs is to relieve yourself in the shower. But do you have to do it every single time you take a shower? I don't even know if that's what you do when your in there, but what the fuck else could you POSSIBLY be doing during your 30+ minute showers. Yes, I timed you, because it happens every day. You DO realize that you have two other roommates that like to stay hydrated, right? We don't want to have to wait for 15 minutes to piss because you take longer showers than should be allowed by law.
Oh, and pick up your damn feet. We don't want to hear you drag them in your shower shoes making all that damn noise.
Sincerely,
Your pissed off roommate.
P.S. I'm going to give you about five more minutes to shut that fucking thing off before I throw it out the window. It's 2:45 in the morning.
[Edit]
It was three in the morning and I asked him "You going to bed soon?" to which he replied "nope" WTF!?
Oh, and let it be known that even with the sound down, the light from the tv is still flooding the room. Keep in mind that I live in the barracks, so it's three guys in a 12x12 room.
HAVE SOME FUCKING RESPECT AND SHUT THAT SHIT OFF. It's not even the fact that it's on is so bad. It's that you listen to it as if you lost your fucking hearing aid.
Then there's your showers. I understand that a man has needs. I understand that when you're fat and ugly and you live in the barracks the only way of satisfying those needs is to relieve yourself in the shower. But do you have to do it every single time you take a shower? I don't even know if that's what you do when your in there, but what the fuck else could you POSSIBLY be doing during your 30+ minute showers. Yes, I timed you, because it happens every day. You DO realize that you have two other roommates that like to stay hydrated, right? We don't want to have to wait for 15 minutes to piss because you take longer showers than should be allowed by law.
Oh, and pick up your damn feet. We don't want to hear you drag them in your shower shoes making all that damn noise.
Sincerely,
Your pissed off roommate.
P.S. I'm going to give you about five more minutes to shut that fucking thing off before I throw it out the window. It's 2:45 in the morning.
[Edit]
It was three in the morning and I asked him "You going to bed soon?" to which he replied "nope" WTF!?
Oh, and let it be known that even with the sound down, the light from the tv is still flooding the room. Keep in mind that I live in the barracks, so it's three guys in a 12x12 room.
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