Cross Fit by Jesus (CrossFit parody)

Exercising with a Holy Cross strapped to your back: The NEW Cross Fit. With our patented 100% mahogany Holy Cross, all you have to do is strap it to your back and the cross does the rest!
Yogisays...

Great. I tried Crossfit and I thought it was actually quite cool for a bit. However I had specific goals and Crossfits main problem is its unwillingness to adapt.

Here's the idea, you go in and you're given a notebook to track your progress (at the place I went to at least). You tell them your goals and write them down, then you record the workouts you do and the time you do them in ect.

Time: They time how fast you can go through various workouts which seems fine. Until you are doing things badly because you are trying to speed through them, and there's not a lot of reason to try and be FASTER every time. It makes sense to me to limit a workout to say 20 mins, it does not to try and beat your time of doing the same workout by 30 seconds or so. It just leads to sloppy reps and injuries.

Goals: Your goals btw don't matter. It's just a bunch of "I wanna be fitter" usually. My goals were very specific though because they had to do with my chosen profession (soccer referee) and the fact that I really don't care how much I can lift or what I look like.

Looks: They try to make this about fitness, it's all about being able to do MORE WORK. Being fit is it's own reward and being an athlete throughout life is what's cool. On this idea they refuse to have mirrors. I remember having mirrors growing up having Tae Kwon Do classes. Why were their mirrors? So you can look at what you are doing and adjust your form accordingly, they're a great took. The same goes for high school in weightlifting. You can look at yourself lift in the mirror and adjust how you are doing it. Instead they have people there correcting your form, often I found doing a bad job of it and in my case even debating with each other how I ,with heavy weights on my shoulders, should be lifting things. Yeah they don't want you admiring your body or something, the principle is stupid because SOME PEOPLE are there just for vanity and they have mirrors at home. I am there so I can do these things right like I know how, a mirror helps me with that.

Crossfit is a good idea, but I would like it to be less like the rigid religion I found and more flexible to what those paying would like. I'm not paying to join a cult, it's a club of fitness and I can do more leg lifts while you're using the kettlebells.

So who's gonna help me start a gym that'll be an answer to those Crossfit gyms. That are a bit less intense and a bit more focussed on making the gym fun and productive on your terms rather than theirs? Kickstart It!

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