>> ^faceman:
Upvote for "you die a lot because the camera's being operated by 8 year old autistic child hooked up to an IV full of sherbert"


The main reason it took me a month to finish the game was I'd get fed up with the horrific camera movement and walk away for days. Note to the TR devs: Make the camera a fixed distance and have it not clip on object, end of problem! Is that so hard, it's been 9 games and you haven't figured that out yet?

Yahtzee may be right that Lara's jublees are the selling point for pubescent males, but I'm in my 30s, I got it because I like the games, and the Crystal Dynamics TR games have been the best of the series.

I know, it may make no sense. That is because I am not a true religious values voter. Thus, I have absolutely no morality and I am ultimately destined for Hell(tm). At this juncture it is pointless for me to refrain from making fun of religion. If I stop now, I am still going to Hell(tm)

If I am to suffer an eternity being tortured by the big cloven hoofed red-guy(tm) with horns and a pitch fork, I might as well go out in an intense blaze fueled by fiery brimstone, dragged tooth an nail by Beelzebub and his Quasit army into the depths of the nine hells. I suspect the Leprechauns living in the upper levels of the underworld just below my tulip patch will laugh... teary eyed... at me, as I swoop past them when the Earth opens to claim it's luscious, juicy prize.

After the first decade, both the tortured soul and the demons must become rather bored. Rather repetitive it must be to torture the same person over and over and over again. After a while it just becomes monotonous and not unlike working for the Department of Public Works. Nowhere as exciting as teaching 'Exorcism 101' at the Vatican, or 'How To Maintain 21 Virgins And Have Sex With Them Too' as taught at so many Madrassa around the Middle East.

I suspect Hell must be quite a heavily populated place. Especially with the Earth's population increasing to FAR beyond what it was 6000 years ago. A full 6.6 billion strong! Though as the entire universe is only 6000 years old, they most certainly must have planned ahead to reserve plenty of real estate. They will be fine I am certain. Considering the Earth's diameter is quite a large 12,756.1 km. As a result, we can further calculate the Earth's Volume, which is 1,097,509,500,000,000,000,000 cubic meters. Taking that into account we have PLENTY of fire and brimstone for ALL! Plenty of room in Hell(tm) I say! At least I won't be in cramped quarters. Plenty of room for a few US military bases, and a Pentecostal Church. Demons just LOVE speaking in tongues. Being forked and all, they are quite adept at the language.

Peace.


>> ^MarineGunrock:
No, I say it because just about every one of your comments has something to do with insulting Christians - even on videos that have nothing to do with religion.
In reply to this comment by honkeytonk73:
>> ^MarineGunrock:
You really are a hateful sumbitch.
In reply to this comment by honkeytonk73:
Voter disenfranchising in the name of JEEEESUS. All for the sake of maintaining 'values voter' superiority. Christian morality at it's finest I say.


I probably should not have singled out values voters as being solely Christian. I apologize as that is wholly not fair in the least. Though those not able to speak to invisible magical friends simply have no values, so apparently they cannot be taken into consideration.
I wouldn't call myself hateful (others may and have the right to do so). Rather, I consider myself to be equally unbound by any form of deistic superstition among the hundreds which currently exist and the greater number which has existed in the past.
To elaborate, for those who have interest:
Each superstition in their own right is -entirely- correct in that they are the 'one' true faith. Everyone is correct, as it makes perfect sense. It is also politically correct to roll over and agree that everyone is equally deluded. Life is simpler that way is it not?
So now... I will now go bathe in the Lake of Fire(tm) for my sins, wherever that may be. I'll be sure to let everyone know if fire can exist in a liquid form... though I highly suspect it will be a lake of superheated plasma, rather than fire. In that case, I suspect the environment in hell is of quite high pressure.
The typical maximum pressure at which the human body can maintain life is measurable scientifically. On the other hand.. the non-corporeal 'spirit' with zero nerve endings, could potentially withstand infinite pressure. But then what would be the point? With no nerves, can one have pain? So what is the purpose of torture then? Maybe the big red horned guys just insult the damned denizens over and over again... and that is how they torture.
These are such insults I suspect I will endure in the various supposed afterlives:
"No your mother is NOT Aphrodite, I said a HERMAPHRODITE you nincompoop!"
"Your hair is as big as Tammy Fae Bakker and your eyelashes help you fly!"
"You smell like an all too lonely Arabian goat herder!"
"Your mother was a priestess of Lesbos!"
"Your real father was Pan, your momma got rammed darn good eh Mr coven hooves?"
I shall update everyone from Hell(tm) when I arrive. I hope they have broadband. Watch, one torture is to only provide a 300 baud inernet connection. Upper case text only. TRS-80 COCO!!

I think the video is a suppose to make fun of the concept and the people who susbcribe to it. I don't know if you realized it, but this is not a real commercial. Nor is Taihbrides4u a real agency.

While I'm on the subject, anyone know of any good mail order websites for husbands (male order), preferably former boxers from underground cage fighting underworlds?

>> ^Kraz:
"We comdemn violence against women... Even though thai women noever complain or go to the police wink "
Are you kidding me?

i guess i can see telling your dorm/suite mates about your foray into the taco bell underworld to secure vast quantities of the rare and exotic "baja blast" mountain dew syrup would be thrilling.

*** GROAN ALERT *** GROAN ALERT *** GROAN ALERT *** GROAN ALERT ***

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments .

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with Heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off..

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

"It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate.

"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said,

JESUS SAVES

Nice to see Shpongle and Infected Mushroom on your list, dsjunkid, hadn't listened to them IN YEARS, literally! And Saint Germain is nothing to be ashamed of, even with their popularity.

So here's my 10 cent:
1. Bear McCreary - Something Dark Is Coming (BSG Season 2)
Dark ambient. One of the best tracks from _the_ best TV series soundtrack ever created, I shit you not. We're off to a great start; McCreary is exactly what I hoped to see on my list.

2. Joke Society - Morphing Morning
From Cafe Del Mar SunSand. Yes, I confess guilty as charged, I'm one of the Cafe Del Mar obsessed.

3. Faithless - We Come One

4. Awake On A Train - Múm
Their 2000 "Yesterday Was Dramatic - Today Is OK" is one of the best albums in the world, period. This masterpiece of theirs is even better than Sigur Ros (they're both icelandic). We're doing a lot better than I expected.

5. Obstacle 1 - Interpol
Again, "Turn On The Bright Lights" was one hell of an album. Thank you, people that helped me sift some of their stuff. This is indie rock at its best.

6. Ace Of Spades - Motörhead

7. Evergreen (Dusted Remix) - Faithless
From Hed Kandi's Winter Chill 3, this is one of my favorite lounge/chillout tracks of all time. Excellent mix, too, a lot better than original, which is definitely saying something.

8. Jumbo - Underworld

9. All Along The Watchtower - Bear McCreary (BSG Season 3)
Best modern cover of this masterpiece. A tune of harps and sitar pave the way for a surprisingly powerful progressive guitar. I strongly suggest you google/youtube it.

10. Knights of Cydonia - Muse

Well, I must say, I never expected this to turn out as well as it did. Thank you, trusty shuffle, I may now actually use more of you in the future. And thanks for starting this experiment, dft

I've added your names to the new victory list on my profile.

In reply to this comment by RhesusMonk:
Swear to christ. YouMakeKittyMad and I were talking (we work together) and he's actually the one who guessed right. Do we get to pass into the underworld now or something for figuring out the riddle?

In reply to this comment by lucky760:
Whooooooaaa, whoaa, whoa... Wait a second. Do you mean to tell me you deciphered it solely on your own? You sure you didn't get a hint somewhere else?

You're the very first person to guess correctly. If you truly had no help, my green Irish hat's off to you, but I have a hard time even considering the possibility.

In reply to this comment by RhesusMonk:
So what's lmfahs mean? all i got is "laughing my fucking asshole shut."

Swear to christ. YouMakeKittyMad and I were talking (we work together) and he's actually the one who guessed right. Do we get to pass into the underworld now or something for figuring out the riddle?

In reply to this comment by lucky760:
Whooooooaaa, whoaa, whoa... Wait a second. Do you mean to tell me you deciphered it solely on your own? You sure you didn't get a hint somewhere else?

You're the very first person to guess correctly. If you truly had no help, my green Irish hat's off to you, but I have a hard time even considering the possibility.

In reply to this comment by RhesusMonk:
So what's lmfahs mean? all i got is "laughing my fucking asshole shut."

Tags for this video have been changed from 'underworld, cowgirl' to 'party, concert, 00s, vj, visuals, electronic, dance, hypnotic, uk, vocals' - edited by Eklek

So homosexuality is the kind of thing that makes demons of the Underworld evil?

>> ^shuac:
>> ^Xax:
...And I agree with Thylan; System Shock should be on that list.

Yes. Was there an earlier FPS/RPG hybrid that "did it right?" I don't think so.
"Look at you, Hacker."


Ultima Underworld?

Odd though, that they'd snuff GTA3 for a little known game, but allow Wolf3D to eclipse Catacombs3D and Ultima Underworld. Meh, not like it's CNN reporting but a bit of consistancy would be nice.

Tears of joy runs down my face whenever a bubbly hippie girl gets mauled by a friggin' cheetah.

This is officially now one of my favorite sifts.

All my sorrows in this world have been avenged, and the evil spirits are returning back to the underworld.

I can sleep in peace now... thank you.

The dialogue to brush up your Dutch:
-Kijk uit! (Watch out!)
-Stop, stop de auto! (Stop, stop the car!)
-Hoe heeft die me gevonden? (how did he find me?)
-Wie? (Who?)
-O, die is gestuurd door Laura's man. (O, he's send by Laura's husband.)
-Wie is Laura? (Who's Laura?)
-De vrouw van mijn boekhouder. Dat is zo'n onderwereldconnectie van 'm. (The wife of my accountant. This is one of his underworld friends)
Oh, Laura had me nog zo gewaarschuwd.. (Oh, Laura warned me about this)
-Bedrieg jij Nicolette?! (Do you cheat on Nicolette?)
-Niet zo hard! (Not so fast!)
-Ik had nooit iets met die slet moeten beginnen. Zo lekker was ze niet eens.. (I shouldn't have started an affair with that slut. She wasn't that nice anyway)
-Ohh (Ohh)
-Fuck! (Fuck!)
-Oh..ahhh (Oh..ahhh)

edit:voila;)

I was curious about any followup activity on this. So far I haven't found much, but some more interesting background I got a LOL out of.

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/stlouiscitycounty/story/34992940ABCFBFF886257355000D2A55?OpenDocument

A check of court records shows Kuehnlein [the officer in this story] himself pleaded guilty of assault and stealing in two different cases, in 1988 and 1990. He successfully petitioned a judge in St. Louis County in 1998 to expunge his criminal record, which was making it hard for him to get work as a cop.

The judge ordered those records sealed, as well as records of an acquittal for drunken driving and an assault arrest that did not result in charges.

...

Five years ago, an administrative commission upheld an accusation that Uhrig [the police chief who suspended Kuehnlein] propositioned a 17-year-old girl for sex during a traffic stop in 2000, when he was an Arnold officer.

Cole told investigators that Uhrig had her drive to an empty parking lot where he spoke of jail, petted her arm and face, told her she was "beautiful, hot, and tempting," and suggested a "quickie."

...

Police misconduct is an old story in St. George. In 1981, Chief Milton Russell Schepp worked with the so-called "Syrian underworld" to plant a bomb in a car driven by mobster Paul J. Leisure. Leisure survived the blast, and Schepp went to prison.


Did you catch that last bit? A former police chief set up a car bomb. This sounds like a great place to live, with real role-model cops to help you through your daily life!


Edit: This seems to be a good place to keep up on what develops: http://www.zimbio.com/Brett+Darrow