No problem. I've got a few jokes for you straight off the bat - what's brown and sticky? A stick. What's ET short for? He's only got little legs. Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil. Doctor doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Pull yourself together! What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra. What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill.

Hell, Tim Vine does hundreds of one liners in half an hour and the majority of them are not at anyone's expense.

I think you've confused what you find funny with the term "humour" as it were. You may only find shadenfreude funny, and so you think all humour is shadenfreude, but it is patently obvious that things can be humourous without being at someone's expense and i find it almost petulant to be asked to prove it when it is so obvious. You almost certainly know loads of jokes like that. How does Bob Marley like his donuts? Wi' jam-in. I stood there, wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger and bigger..... and then it hit me. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam.

From what i remember of Lenny Henry's standup (like him or not) in the old days, he didn't often tell a joke at someone's expense. Tommy Cooper used to make people laugh by doing bad magic tricks. Les Dawson used to make people laugh by playing the piano badly as only a good pianist can. Terry Pratchett makes me laugh by conjuring up funny situations in a fictional world. I laughed at the Big Lebowski when he shaded the pad of paper to see what secret notes Jackie Treehorn was making and it turned out to be a doodle of a man holding his own cock. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. I bought some new viagra eye drops, cos they make me look hard. What do you call a man with a shovel on his head? Doug.

I could go on and on and on, but i don't get paid for this and i have other stuff to do, but i hope i've opened your eyes to whole new realms of comedy where people don't get hit in the face with stuff. Where are the Andes? At the end of your wristies. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.

I'm so confused by your request for proof that i feel like someone's asked me "Air? What air? There's no air, i can't see any!"

I'm utterly dreading to read your reply if it says anything along the lines of "That ET joke is offensive to short people! That skeleton joke is offensive to people with eating disorders! The penguin joke is offensive to the penguin you pushed down the hill!" Please don't embarrass us both by doing that, we both know those jokes aren't offensive. (Or very funny, to be honest.)

Made these last night-I call em:

Chewy Sugar Cookies (monster version)

2 3/4 cups flour (sifted with:)
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder

I cup (2 sticks) salted, butter (softened)
1 1/2 cups whole cane sugar
1 egg
1tsp (or to taste) vanilla extract
3-6 tbsp buttermilk
some ground cinnamon, and some more sugar for later

sift dry ingredients into bowl
in a separate bowl, cream sugar, extract, egg, and a small glug of buttermilk until creamy
mix wet and dry ingredients and add just enough extra buttermilk to make the mix slightly sticky but not wet (or, the opposite of how you like your women)

NOW comes the monster part:

Add to dough, some pure grated coconut (unsweetened), dried cranberries, and fresh almonds that have been hit with the coffee grinder to chop and powder a bit)

Place the dough in the freezer while you preheat the oven to 375°F

on an un-greased cookie sheet, place small dollops of dough that has been rolled in some of the coconut/almond mix you set aside extra

on top of each dollop that you flatten slightly with a fork, brush-on some buttermilk on each dough-glob, then sprinkle with a sugar and a ground cinnamon mix

Bake for 8-10 minutes on second-to-top oven rack

Real panty-droppers these, bet ya can't eat just five

I'm sympathetic but surely a seasoned web-user would know to hover over strange things in the hope that some alt text might assist?

That said I think you have a point. Someone else once wrote eloquently and at some length about how the site should really be optimised to stress the ability to submit videos, i.e the engine that drives the site.

Personally I think the menus could do with a serious revamp to also focus on the videos and make it easier to find cool stuff. The site's been less sticky for me of late because I wish these things were there.

I've settled for letting videos find me via twitter/reddit yet when I return here there's always cool stuff I haven't seen. So there is hope!

He saves himself at the end by saying that not all beaches are made of the same sand.

I was itching to write a comment, similar to the concrete one --- about sand used to make sandcastle competitions. The competitions truck in special sand (one source is the bottom of a lake in British Columbia). The preferable sand is more jagged, so the grains grab at each other more and therefore are more "sticky."

Now I am off to look at A Grain of Sand...

I'm heading straight to ammunation for sticky bombs the next time I load up.

*sticky

Stickying this post at the top of Sift Talk - sticky requested by kulpims.

eww, have to go wash all the gooey, sticky cute off now-

I think this needs a *sticky

Stickying this post at the top of Sift Talk - sticky requested by eric3579.

Just curious why?

Come on choggie this post was not suppose to be about you, and you hijacked it. I can only assume the sticky is to grab more attention for yourself(your comments). Forgive me if I'm wrong but you can't blame me for coming to that conclusion. Can't we please move on?

*sticky

Stickying this post at the top of Sift Talk - sticky requested by chingalera.

Leather are worse. Sticky! I had to put cloth over mine to avoid that like right now at home!

...sticky wicket that...

This one is three times as long and while most of the material is looped there is additional pertinent content.

BTW, nice save, boys.