Tags for this video have been changed from 'Lasse Gjertsen, Faen, fuck' to 'Lasse Gjertsen, Faen, fuck, sweden, norway, finland, lol' - edited by Zonbie

Penso che un sogno così non ritorni mai più.
Mi dipingevo le mani e la faccia di blu.
Poi d’improvviso venivo dal vento rapito
E incominciavo a volare nel cielo infinito.

Volare, Oh!, Oh!,
Cantare, Oh!, Oh!, Oh!, Oh!
Nel blu, dipinto di blu,
Felice de stare lassù.

E volavo, volavo, felice
Più in alto del sole ed ancora più in su.
Mentre il mondo pian’ piano
Spariva lontano laggiù,
Una musica dolce suonava
Soltanto per me.

Volare, Oh!, Oh!,
Cantare, Oh!, Oh!, Oh!, Oh!
Nel blu, dipinto di blu,
Felice de stare lassù.

Ma tutti sogni nell’alba svaniscon perché
Quando la luna tramonta li porta con sé,
Ma io continuo a sognare
Negli occhi tuoi belli, che sono blu
Como un cielo trapunto di stelle.

Volare, Oh!, Oh!,
Cantare, Oh!, Oh!, Oh!, Oh!
Nel blu degli occhi tuoi blu,
Felice de stare quaggiù.

E continuo a volare, felice
Più in alto del sole ed ancora più in su.
Mentre il mondo pian’ piano
Scompare negli occhi tuoi blu,
La tua voce e una musica dolce
Che suona per me.

Volare, Oh!, Oh!,
Cantare, Oh!, Oh!, Oh!, Oh!
Nel blu degli occhi tuoi blu,
Felice de stare quaggiù.

This one may be old, I dunno, but I had written it in English before, so it was just a copy-paste.

A 47-year-old bachelor decides to have a complete facial cosmetic surgery, just because his luck with the ladies is dwindling and, well, simply because he can.

After thousands of $$$ paid and several hours of hard surgical work, the procedure is complete and as the man inspects his new self in a mirror, behold! a miraculous visage! - even all the doctors agree this is the best decorative surgery they've ever seen.

As the man checks out of the hospital, he decides to treat himself for a walk. And just as he walks down the first street, ladies survey him with great interest and awkward smiles, some giggle and even blush - finally, the man knows what it's like being a male supermodel.

However, all that hospital food has him gone quite peckish, and our hero opts for masses as he sets foot in a McDonalds. Even sassy teens eye him over their trays of fast-food and the shy sales-girl cannot contain her obvious desire. Impressed with himself and with this newly-found self-esteem slash arrogance, the man asks her,
"Hey, how old do you think I am?"
"I don't know, 29, maybe?"
"No, wrong! I'm 47, actually. Ain't it cool?!"
And he walks off with much gusto and complacence.

As he finishes his meal, he decides it's high time to return to his humble abode, and with that, he leaves for a bus. On his way to the stop, a group of three girls are about to pass him in the opposite direction, all having eyed him with great interest, so he asks them, too:
"Ladies, will you take a guess at my age?"
"Well, OK. 31?" one of them is quick to reply.
"No way, he's more like 27-something". Another one says.
"Yeah, but I'm actually 47! Really, not kidding!"

And he strolls off to the lonely bus-stop. There, he spends a couple of minutes waiting by himself, until an elderly granny joins him. What the hell:
"Hey there! I bet you cannot guess my age."
"Well, sonny, I'd love to, but I'm afraid I might not be as good at this as I was in my youth."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you see, when I was a young and pretty lass, I used to have this talent-if a man was to ever let me suck his cock, I'd be able to tell his age with absolute accuracy. It never failed me, but now, it's been years since I last tried it..."
Well, it's a completely empty street, and the payoff would be boasting his good looks yet again-
"Well all right then."

After a not so quick bj which the old lady seems to have enjoyed immensely, she stands up, shakily, and exclaims "47"! to which the man is completely dumbstruck. After a long pause, he inquires,
"But... I mean, how does this work? How are you able to tell this, cause I don't look anything like 47..."
"Well, that's my bus right there, sonny, so I'll be straight with you - I was behind you in line at the McDonalds."

Go Lasse!
As good as always

I wanted to hand her a tissue... poor lass

>> ^legacy0100:
^bidouleroux
No you idiot. Because it's too dumb to strategize something as complicated as 'okay, I'm gonna calm down, relax, and maneuver my head lower to the surface of the water so that this young feline lass would be dunked under water, and this will create a badly needed chance, as quick as it may be, for the lioness to panic and give myself an opportunity to free my head from her grasp'
If they had such abilities to cognitively predict and control their surrounding environment, they would've just made a big water reservoir instead of going to the nearest river to get water, only to get ambushed by lions, like a common animal.


Typical human. ^ Humans are animals too.

^bidouleroux

No you idiot. Because it's too dumb to strategize something as complicated as 'okay, I'm gonna calm down, relax, and maneuver my head lower to the surface of the water so that this young feline lass would be dunked under water, and this will create a badly needed chance, as quick as it may be, for the lioness to panic and give myself an opportunity to free my head from her grasp'

If they had such abilities to cognitively predict and control their surrounding environment, they would've just made a big water reservoir instead of going to the nearest river to get water, only to get ambushed by lions, like a common animal.

Does it depress him greatly that his sister is so dense?

It must, surely.

Poor lad

Poor lass

Poor bloodline

awww man, she's becoming quite the gorgeous lass...fillin' out in all the right places...(makes ya wanna make more babies.....)WOOOOF!

The idea is good, sort of like what's his face, Lasse Gjertsen, and his piano, but the execution is not good. Get in tune or else... I'll smolder quietly with absolutely no consequence to you. Grrr...

Here are.. the lyrics!

Bamse och Lille-skutt
hoppa ut i skogen
Då kom Skalman tampelistamp
snubbla på en katt
Bamse sa:
Kom hit, kom hit kisselikisselikisselimiss
så ska du få en köttbulle när vi kommer fram

Och så såg dom farmors hus
långt upp på kullen
Lille skutt han sprang så fort hela vägen fram
Då sa bamse:
Nu springer du för fort, för fort
vänta på oss andra
Vi har inga långa ben och skalman han är trött, trött

Kom in, kom in, i stugan min så ska ni få äta
köttbullar med lingon på
och glass i stora lass

Vill du inte ha nån honung
stora starka Bamse
Nej tack, nej tack inte nu för jag är så mätt

Då sa lille husmusen:
Honungen är stulen
Bamse sprang så snabbt, så snabbt
fånga Janssons katt

Ajsing bajsing lilla katt
du får ont i magen
Inte hitta på nåt bus
spring till farmors hus

Så var sagan slut

nice, thanks for sharing, I wasn't aware of how far back Ken Nordine's career went...used to air his more 'modern' work in the eighties, love his stuff. Great to see Astaire and lass having fun too, nice.

kronos...their's hope for you yet. I mean you can start raising hummingbirds or meet a fine young lass like this. I'd recommend the first suggestion as I might need some help too and it isn't likely she'll have a sister.

J'en ai marre

J’ai la peau douce
Dans mon bain de mousse
Je m’éclabousse
J’en ris
Mon poisson bouge
Dans mon bain de mousse
Je l’emmitoufle, je
Lui dis

J’ai pas d’problèmes, je fainéantes
Pas de malaises, je fainéante
Dans l’eau je baigne, c’est l’important
Bien à mon aise, dans l’air du temps

J’ai la peau douce
Dans mon bain de mousse
Je bulle à l’ombre
Des bombes
Tout est délice
Délit docile :
Je fais la liste
Des choses qui
M’indisposent

J’en ai marre de ceux qui pleurent,
Qui ne roulent qu'à deux à l’heure,
Qui se lamentent et qui s’fixent

Sur l’idée d’une idée fixe
J’en ai marre de ceux qui râlent,
Des extrémistes à deux balles,
Qui voient la vie tout en noir
Qui m’expédient dans l’cafard
J’en ai marre de la grande s’ur,
Qui gémit tout et qui pleure,
Marre de la pluie, des courgettes
Qui m’font vomir sous la couette
J’en ai marre de ces cyniques,
Et dans les prés, les colchiques,
J’en ai marre d'en avoir marre ! Aussi

J’ai la peau douce
Dans mon bain de mousse
Pas de secousses
Sismiques
Je me prélasse
Et me délasse,
C’est mon état aquatique
Y’a comme un hic

99 was awesome and seemed healthy. I wouldn't mind being that old in that state. The video was kind of lame though. They could have cut it in a way that you'd actually get a flow of music (like this video) and instead of calling their age, just a number?