The Onion
Updated: 1 decade 1 year 2 months ago
Views: 11,950
America's finest news source.
New Law Requires Women To Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting Abortion.
posted by EDD 1 decade 4 years 10 months 2 weeks ago • 2,037 viewsCiting White House Pressure, Hennessy pulled the Biden ads saying "Joe will always epitomize the smooth, original style of our world class cognac."
posted by Zifnab 1 decade 4 years 10 months 2 weeks ago • 1,506 viewsCongo lawmakers are convinced the stimulus package will give Congolese the assault weapons they need to obtain clothes, food.
posted by Zifnab 1 decade 4 years 10 months 3 weeks ago • 1,794 viewsHoly shit! Did Infinity Ward actually co-create the machinima section in this?
posted by EDD 1 decade 5 years 2 weeks ago • 6,407 viewsClean-up crews are hard at work after a VH1 bus carrying reality show contestants overturned, spilling 2,000 pounds of highly concentrated slut. "Initial attempt to dilute spill by spraying it with... continue reading
posted by EDD 1 decade 4 years 10 months 3 weeks ago • 7,339 viewsThe nation's poor get to experience true Christmas spirit, while the wealthy, burdened by shopping and party obligations, are left out in the cold.
posted by Zifnab 1 decade 4 years 11 months ago • 3,424 viewsResearchers conducting the Friendster excavation say the site has been deserted since the year 2005 A.D.
posted by Zifnab 1 decade 4 years 11 months 2 weeks ago • 1,786 viewsAdult readers say they are drawn to the 'Green Man' children's book series by the complexity of its characters ranging from yellow to blue. The Onion reports.
posted by Zifnab 1 decade 4 years 11 months 3 weeks ago • 2,095 viewsPanelists warn about the dangers of getting Stoked and whether there is an epidemic among young people today who get stoked over everything from free keychains to tacos.
posted by Sagemind 1 decade 4 years 11 months 4 weeks ago • 3,739 viewsAfter several months and several missteps, the Republicans have finally found the ideal leader for their political party.
posted by davidraine 1 decade 4 years 12 months ago • 1,762 viewsThis just in: teleprompter maintains line between President, smallest sign of imperfection.
posted by EDD 1 decade 5 years 1 week ago • 2,420 viewsFord says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.
posted by Zifnab 1 decade 5 years 2 weeks ago • 4,861 viewsUnfortunately, a 17-year old teenager who didn't have pig-eyes and a squared haircut was the victim of a horrific car crash only a lying scumbag such as Glenn Beck would deserve.
posted by EDD 1 decade 5 years 3 weeks ago • 9,754 viewsPeople are breathing a sigh of relief today for the long-suffering spectators' sudden deaths, and for the total elimination of the Clippers' roster off the face of the earth.
posted by Zifnab 1 decade 5 years 3 weeks ago • 3,317 viewsAnna Stephenson stops by Today NOW! to show parents of girly sons costume tips to survive Halloween without accentuating their child's already obvious homosexuality.
posted by Zifnab 1 decade 5 years 1 month ago • 4,016 viewsSteam Room analysts debate whether the International Fencing Federation should rein in this rogue, or if De La Croix will narrowly escape yet again.
posted by Zifnab 1 decade 5 years 1 month ago • 1,247 viewsIn The Know panelists call Biden's decision to sneeze in the middle of a high level policy meeting 'disgusting' and 'completely inappropriate.'
posted by Zifnab 1 decade 5 years 1 month ago • 3,506 views