The People Call Samuel J. Bowden

Whenever I feel wronged, like say, getting the wrong change at the Mom & Pop corner store, I unleash the below monologue. I find it quite effective.

"I find you guilty, counselor! Guilty of betraying your fellow man, guilty of betraying your country, guilty of abrogating your oath, guilty of judging me and selling me out! And with the power vested in me by the kingdom of god, I sentence you to the ninth circle of hell!"

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