Some enormous Ice- fuck -Storm has engulfed the top half of Texas. No one has gone to work, school, the grocery store or even wal*mart (except for drax, he got balls and walked there) since Monday afternoon. There are rolling brown outs to conserve energy, everyone is affected by them except for the the steelers and the packers at their fancy rich fuck hotel in downtown Fort Worth, apparently. Let's not embarrass ourselves in front of the visiting football players with our 3rd world infrastructure. Texas is now borrowing power from Mexico's grid. The Super Bowl is here on Sunday, I'm expecting the death toll will begin mounting by then.

Car accidents are at record highs. A friend from Houston told me this morning that there were 200 accidents in Houston between midnight and 6am. Ridiculous!

It's like living in someones freezers. Except all the food has freezer burn and you can't eat any of it because the microwave uses too much power. And you might slip on the ice and die.

I'm stir crazy, have the asspiss, and we're running out of food and cigarettes. Call out the National Guard, or the Mormom's... we need some MRE's.

I'm tired of this apocalyptic wonderland. And Canadians, I now think you're all just insane. I am not in awe of your ability to cope with this bullshit weather half of the year. I just don't understand why you haven't all moved to Florida. Or Brazil. Or Honduras. I think you could probably do a lot for human rights in the 3rd world actually, if you all just abandoned your frozen arctic palaces and migrated to the same few equatorial countries. But perhaps the harsh, unforgiving frozen tundra has crippled your will to live. This is an abusive relationship, Canadians.

Also, I can't pay any bills because my bank account thinks I'm broke. I actually have a few thousand dollars in checks that came monday evening, I just haven't been able to deposit them because I CAN'T GET TO THE FUCKING BANK. Even if pizza boys were delivering, I couldn't buy one. The pizza, or the boy.

My electric company just emailed me and told me not to call them if my power goes out because 1. it's just going to happen, deal with it. and 2. they've closed their offices due to inclement weather and they're not coming back until Monday.

The post office is the only thing still in operation, please mail us food.

GAH. I'M TIRED OF THIS ARCTIC BLAST, THIS APOCALYPTIC WONDERLAND OF FROZEN DEATH. THIS SnOMG HELL FUCK STORM.

I'd post pictures of how cold and dead we are here, but I'm too cold and dead to figure out how to do that.