What kind of creepy internet stalker tries to dig up dirt on a person by diligently parsing through thousands of comments? Look, I'm flattered and all but seeing as how you're probably a 46 year old balding man, and I'm probably a 13 year old school boy, I'd recommend avoiding the inevitable confrontation with Chris Hansen and stick to drugging men in bars and having puppet shows with their penises if I were you.

...and that's how you do a run-on sentence

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
marshall is a totally faggy name.
What self respecting Puerto Rican Jew is named Marshall?
Oh...wait.... nevermind... self respecting...ha.. i kill me.

In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
Not that anybody cares but I'm bored at work sooooooo...

What up playas and hustlas my REAL name is Marshall, aka Marsh E. Fresh and I live in Pacific Beach, CA. I am 25 and I work full time as a project manager for a commercial construction contractor. By night I am a college student aspiring towards a mechanical engineering degree. It's slow going with the full time job and all but it keeps me out of trouble. I've got no kids that I know of, however, I donate sperm every day (let me know if you see a child that looks half-kleenex, half human). I have an awesome beard.

I love the sift because it's full of people smarter than myself that I can learn from, then turn around and mutilate what I've learned while bestowing the knowledge upon somebody else. It's a great atmosphere here and as you've probably noticed I try not to take many things seriously. I hope to never grow up (except when it comes to that baby-dick issue I've got).

vote for Kulpims video (I know I'm a whore)

marshall is a totally faggy name.
What self respecting Puerto Rican Jew is named Marshall?
Oh...wait.... nevermind... self respecting...ha.. i kill me.

In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
Not that anybody cares but I'm bored at work sooooooo...

What up playas and hustlas my REAL name is Marshall, aka Marsh E. Fresh and I live in Pacific Beach, CA. I am 25 and I work full time as a project manager for a commercial construction contractor. By night I am a college student aspiring towards a mechanical engineering degree. It's slow going with the full time job and all but it keeps me out of trouble. I've got no kids that I know of, however, I donate sperm every day (let me know if you see a child that looks half-kleenex, half human). I have an awesome beard.

I love the sift because it's full of people smarter than myself that I can learn from, then turn around and mutilate what I've learned while bestowing the knowledge upon somebody else. It's a great atmosphere here and as you've probably noticed I try not to take many things seriously. I hope to never grow up (except when it comes to that baby-dick issue I've got).

vote for Kulpims video (I know I'm a whore)

I'm still feeling the effects of my fatigue so I went back to this blog post and started to read your dietary analysis. I started to get excited until a certain point I realized that the diet you've planned for me is typical to what I eat now. Other than I enjoy sandwiches, so I like to use bread at lunch and I enjoy eggs at breakfast. I'm going to try this a little more closely. Maybe cut out anything I have with "a nutrition label". We'll see how that goes.

In reply to this comment by imstellar28:
>> ^blankfist
Second, you need to eat less carbs. A low carb diet will slow you down for the first week or so as your body goes through keitosis.

I find it quite interesting that we have not only the same (correct ) views on political systems, economic systems, and human rights...but we have the same view on nutritional science. If I had to guess, I would say it must be the personality trait of "intellectual curiosity."

I digress...

rottenseed - take it from me, your friendly libertarian free-market economist nutritional scientist,

You are tired because you are
1. Not sleeping well
2. Not eating well
3. Overexerting yourself
4. Chemically/Biologically flawed

I'm going to take a guess and say 3 and 4 aren't the case, so heres my advice:

To improve sleep:
- Double check the sleep apnea (do you breath through your nose or mouth when sleeping?)
- Do you wake up throughout the night? Even if you are in bed for 8 hours, if you keep waking up you aren't getting good sleep. Try sleeping in a pitch black room - it will help you sleep soundly throughout the night.

To improve nutrition:
- I'm guessing you are on the typical American diet, 70/20/10 Carbs/Protein/Fat aka the fast track to diabetes, heart disease and cancer. While the long term side effect of this diet are quite fatal, the short term side effects aren't so great either: lethargy and lack of energy.
- Food is the most powerful drug known to man. The advice I'm about to give you will not only extent your life, it will increase your energy and happiness while you are alive. Heed this advice for even a single week and you will literally feel better than you ever have in your life:

1. Try not to buy anything with a nutritional label - so avoid flour, sugar, bread, rice, cereal, baked goods any thing which has a "Daily recommended value" listed on it.
2. Shop only on the outside walls of the supermarket. This means fresh fruit, vegetables, nuts, beef, poultry, pork, and seafood.
3. Eat these foods 3-4 times a day in approximately the following ratios:

Meat: One serving the size and thickness of your palm
Vegetables/Fruits: One serving equal to what you can hold on both hands
Nuts/Fat: One serving equal to the size of your thumb

These are helpful guidelines, what you are aiming for is increase your dietary intake of protein to induce ketosis with sources such as fresh meat and poultry, increase your intake of monounsaturated fats with sources like olive oil, avocados, and nuts, and replace the glucose-spiking refined carbohydrates prevalent in an American diet with high-vitamin, low GI carbohydrates such as fresh fruits and vegetables.

Try this for even 3 days, and you'll see a massive difference.

Breakfast
Bacon
Fresh cantaloupe and watermelon
Smoked Almonds

Lunch
Black Forest Ham
Mixed fruit (blueberries, strawberries, kiwi, pineapple, grapes)
Avocado
Feta cheese

Dinner
16 oz grilled rib-eye steak
Asparagus
Green beans
Brazil nuts

>> ^blankfist
Second, you need to eat less carbs. A low carb diet will slow you down for the first week or so as your body goes through keitosis.

I find it quite interesting that we have not only the same (correct ) views on political systems, economic systems, and human rights...but we have the same view on nutritional science. If I had to guess, I would say it must be the personality trait of "intellectual curiosity."

I digress...

rottenseed - take it from me, your friendly libertarian free-market economist nutritional scientist,

You are tired because you are
1. Not sleeping well
2. Not eating well
3. Overexerting yourself
4. Chemically/Biologically flawed

I'm going to take a guess and say 3 and 4 aren't the case, so heres my advice:

To improve sleep:
- Double check the sleep apnea (do you breath through your nose or mouth when sleeping?)
- Do you wake up throughout the night? Even if you are in bed for 8 hours, if you keep waking up you aren't getting good sleep. Try sleeping in a pitch black room - it will help you sleep soundly throughout the night.

To improve nutrition:
- I'm guessing you are on the typical American diet, 70/20/10 Carbs/Protein/Fat aka the fast track to diabetes, heart disease and cancer. While the long term side effect of this diet are quite fatal, the short term side effects aren't so great either: lethargy and lack of energy.
- Food is the most powerful drug known to man. The advice I'm about to give you will not only extent your life, it will increase your energy and happiness while you are alive. Heed this advice for even a single week and you will literally feel better than you ever have in your life:

1. Try not to buy anything with a nutritional label - so avoid flour, sugar, bread, rice, cereal, baked goods any thing which has a "Daily recommended value" listed on it.
2. Shop only on the outside walls of the supermarket. This means fresh fruit, vegetables, nuts, beef, poultry, pork, and seafood.
3. Eat these foods 3-4 times a day in approximately the following ratios:

Meat: One serving the size and thickness of your palm
Vegetables/Fruits: One serving equal to what you can hold on both hands
Nuts/Fat: One serving equal to the size of your thumb

These are helpful guidelines, what you are aiming for is increase your dietary intake of protein to induce ketosis with sources such as fresh meat and poultry, increase your intake of monounsaturated fats with sources like olive oil, avocados, and nuts, and replace the glucose-spiking refined carbohydrates prevalent in an American diet with high-vitamin, low GI carbohydrates such as fresh fruits and vegetables.

Try this for even 3 days, and you'll see a massive difference.

Breakfast
Bacon
Fresh cantaloupe and watermelon
Smoked Almonds

Lunch
Black Forest Ham
Mixed fruit (blueberries, strawberries, kiwi, pineapple, grapes)
Avocado
Feta cheese

Dinner
16 oz grilled rib-eye steak
Asparagus
Green beans
Brazil nuts

>> ^blankfist:
Congrats, Kulpims (Cool Peems). In honor of your (yawn) achievement, let's see more Sifts of you riding your bike in circles at night.
I kid! Major congrats, mi amigo!

for those of you who don't know...this is kulpims


Legend has it, he posted this video of himself (which is obviously against sift policy). I'm glad the powers that be went light on your punishment.

to upvote the video and boost my rank, you can go here.

http://www.videosift.com/video/Evil-Strawberry

I dress up regularly as a maid and go out to sweep the streets. Sometimes I meet kulpims on his bike, and we strike up an impromptu jam session. Things usually go fast downhill from there.

Wow, this is wild -- MAJOR CATHARSIS on Videosift! Apparently a huge shakeup was needed around here; it will be fun to see how the pieces all land.

On the one hand, it's a tragic loss of information; on the other hand, it's an opportunity for a new paradigm to emerge.  Strawberry Fields Ukulele may be dethroned!

its just strawberry jam... for her... nap.

i want to upvote for the hamster (im a sucker) and the music, but several of those "conventional" looked suspiciously chosen on purpose for their lack of quality. ive never bought organic (at least never on purpose) and very few of the fruits and/or vegetables looked quite as bad as that broccoli or that strawberry. which makes the others somewhat suspect as well.

You think that was weird? Check these out:
http://www.videosift.com/video/Strawberry-Short-Cut-Weird-retro-advertising
http://www.videosift.com/video/Pickle-Surprise-Quite-possibly-the-weirdest-video-ever

In reply to this comment by Xax:
Strange that they'd use a bunch of transvestites in the commercial, but hey, whatever gets peoples' attention.

"Wait'll ya taste 'em!"

Seeing as how ass jelly is NOT delicious jelly, I disagree with you, Razor, and find your input stupid. You heard me. Stupid.

Glad to see we transitioned this from a boring argument that's over a decade old to the real pressing matters at hand.

And it's delicious jelly. Like strawberry jelly. *Hides under my desk, preparing for the anti-strawberry, pro-grape fanboys to flame me.*

i used my jukebox playlist here.
set to random, first song of each page.
and then * starred the ones i found amusing

SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
** where did you sleep last night?

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
drive

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
mercy, mercy, me

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
heaven is a halfpipe

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
listen to the music

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
** two out of three ain't bad

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
hey ya

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
* bring it on

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
* strawberry fields forever

WHAT IS 2+2?
bell bottom blues

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
how it ends

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
tubthumping

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
** time after time

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
solsbury hill

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
* hard to beat

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
* like a stone

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
*** stupid girl

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
new world

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
drumming

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
cocaine

WHATS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
ms jackson

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
creep

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
walk away renee

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
spem in alium

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
island in the sun

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
in the mood

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
** tiger in your tank

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
* hips don't lie

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
*** mad world

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
* gimme' all your lovin'

"Would you like a 'drunken negro cookie' to go with your coffee?"
"Does it have strawberry jam filling for eyes?"
"yes"
"I'll take two, please"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ywg-PdeGVL0

a better quality replacement for this:

http://www.videosift.com/video/The-Beatles-Strawberry-Fields