@BicycleRpariman & MINK: While I agree that it's horrible journalism to participate in a cover-up, part of the reason "off-the-record" information is kept off the record is because these media outlets don't dare jeopardize their sources. If you're doing political reporting, the last thing you want is to be on the "stool pigeon" list when exclusive stories are breaking...you want your contacts to know that you are trustworthy.

Ideally, journalists would want their listeners/viewers/readers to know that they are trustworthy, but I have yet to find a journalistic outlet unbiased enough to risk their sources.

It could also be that some of this "off-the-record" information is accompanied by a legally binding NDA, but that's not cynical enough for my tastes

Man, all drummers should feel silly lugging around their kits from gig to gig, when all they need is an ottoman (though I believe a leather bar stool has superior timbre.)

Bloody people looking for quick and effortless solutions to things.

Yeah, let's take something that makes you crap your pants and leak liquid poo rather than... oh, I don't know... eating better and exercising.

People who take this sort of deserve what they get really. (which apparently is really dirty underpants)


And reading their website it does indeed have those quotes:

I understand that if I take alli with a meal containing too much fat, I may get bowel changes known as treatment effects. The effects may include gas with oily spotting, loose stools, and more frequent stools that may be hard to control. Why? Because alli prevents absorption of some of the fat, and undigested fat passes through the body

Feral choggies can only flourish in the wild. Put one in a controlled environment and it will destroy itself. The choggie thus defies regular scientific examination and can only be experienced in its natural environment. For two years our crew have followed this particular choggie randomly rambling and playing its discard games. There is no telling how long a choggie lives, but it has been estimated from this one's stool sample that there are many good years left. We would congratulate the choggie on its accomplishments if it only understood our "man-speak". We will continue our studies and report on any further developments.

Shuac,
I agree. All these vids in peoples' houses show that everyone is a freaking slob. I can't stand when our kids leave a toy out. These people have coke cases as foot stools!

Sorry I'm late to post here, but I just woke from my week-long hangover.

But seriously, I understand the plight of wrongly mixed drinks. I once mixed Four-dollar-fifth of gin with Diet 7-Up. I thought I was going to hurl BEFORE I was drunk. Which is a crime in Kuwait, I think.

A short list of great drinks that have made me do terrible things to bar stools:

AMF (Adios, Motherfucker)
Long Island Iced Tea (tip the bartender for that extra special Kelsey Grammer amount)
Cherry Bomb ("Bomb" is right. I think I invaded a sovereign nation while drunk on 13 of those fuckers.)
Rattlesnake (something involving Kahlua, Creme de Cacao and taking off my pants at a house party.)

However, the worst combination I have ever tried:

A six-pack of Bud Light chased with an entire pint of Jagermeister and a few swigs of Goldschlager. You don't even want to know the medium Jackson Pollock used in THAT bathroom!

Now it's time to get drunk on PBR and watch midget porn.

That other kid is going to make a great stool pigeon. Did she get to keep her toy?

upvote for the shopkeeper's "are you kidding me? Gettouatheeer!" stooling action.

credit where its' due... that takes balls! "Gimme all the cash or I'll shake my leaves at you"

also like the ending where the shop keeper ushers him out with a stool

Stool > palm fronds!

LOL

Breaking the toilet seat away from the "stool" just sounds too ambiguous.

"We had to break the toilet seat away from the stool"

Man, after two years, I bet that was quite the (pile of) STOOL! *ba dum pa ching*

And I thought the pins and needles were bad after reading for 20 minutes on the can...

I found corn in my stool too.

Teaching an elephant to paint

An elephant trainer at a circus decided to teach his elephant to paint. After a while, he's taught it how to hold a paint brush. Later, he manages to teach the elephant how to dip the paint brush in the paint. Some time later still, he's managed to teach the elephant to stroke the brush against the canvas. Many years go by, and he teaches the elephant to paint better and better. Then one day, a reporter hears the story and comes to see the elephant paint. The elephant trainer says, "watch this"; he gets the reporter to sit on a stool and pose, and tells the elephant to paint a portrait of the reporter. The elephant paints deftly, with apparent confidence. After 20 minutes the reporter is excited to see the resulting portrait. The elephant trainer proudly turns the canvas around so the reporter can see it. It's just a mess of random colors. The reporter says "errr, it's crap". The elephant trainer is unperturbed. He beams with enthusiasm and pride "Maybe. But isn't it amazing - I've taught an elephant to paint!".

Source: http://ivan.truemesh.com/archives/000562.html

It can be a good thing to check stool visually for blood. It's hardly something to be sacred about looking at.

Correction, one woman was trying to help. Gent named Paul Pritchard was recording the vid. On a sidenote, yelling "Russian" at an agitated Polish man doesn't help either.

Funeral news: http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/story.html?id=9dd7f34b-5ee3-49a4-bffd-9c7c6dcfc927&k=71634
Additional article with mourners' comments: http://www.canada.com/topics/news/national/story.html?id=1cbb88d4-bf54-4926-a037-9b18905eed20

Transcript (translated too): http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20071115.BC-TaserTranscript16/BNStory/National/home


Vancouver — Voice off camera: Computer's on?

Voice off camera: What language do you speak?

Muffled responses, comments off camera.

Voice off camera: Just look at his face!

Voice off camera: There's 300 people coming in...coming in.

Muffled comments off camera.

Voice off camera: He did it. He almost threw the chair through the window to get out. Look at it. Look...

Muffled voices talk excitedly off camera.

Mr. Dziekanski paces the whole length of the secure arrivals area, walking back to the entrance doors.

Dziekanski: Breathing deeply. I'm going to break this desk. Is this going to continue?

Muffled voices off camera.

Voice off camera: Is there anybody at the door?

Voice off camera: I can't believe he's ... out!

Voice off camera: Nobody's here...from security.

Muffled voices off camera.

Voice off camera: Just five minutes before ...comes down with 300 people on it...

Dziekanski: Holding and waving a small wooden fold-up stool at the entrance door, speaking in Polish. I'm going to break windows. I'm going to break this window here.

Voice off camera: ...something's wrong with him.

Voice off camera: ... is Russian. He speaks Russian.

Voice off camera: Is that what he's speaking? I don't even know what he's speaking.

Voice off camera: What language do you speak?

Voice off camera: He doesn't speak English...

Voice off camera: Russian? Russian?

Muffled voices off camera.

Voice off camera: Ruskian? Nope.

Dziekanski: Mr. Dziekanski holds and waves a small wooden fold-up stool in the entrance doors. I will not allow them.

Voice off camera: There's nothing wrong! There's nothing wrong...it's okay.

Voice off camera: We need a Russian interpreter. We need someone to open the arrivals area...

Dziekanski: Still holding the stool in the entrance doors, I'm going to report on you and the rest of them.

Voice off camera: Calm down.

Dziekanski: Fine, fine. Takes a breath. We'll see.

Woman walks over to Mr. Dziekanski, motioning to him, holding out her hand.

Woman: Calm down. She motions to him, holding out her hand in order to communicate with him.

Dziekanski: Still holding stool, pacing in the entrance doors,. Get away. Get away.

Muffled voices off camera.

Dziekanski: Swears.

Muffled voices off camera.

Woman : Motioning to Mr. Dziekanski. Calm down please.

Woman tries to communicate through the clear glass partition, with Mr. Dzienkanski who has gone into the arrivals area.

Dziekanski: (Inaudible)

Woman: ....Excuse me...I know I know...

Mr. Dziekanski and the woman speak through the partition, nodding and motioning.

Woman walks back away from partition.

Muffled voices off camera.

Voice off camera: Look! He's got a computer...

Mr. Dziekanski throws some laptop or computer on to the glass partition.

Voice off camera: Whoa.

Voice off camera: Right in front of the cops too.

Voice off camera: Jesus Christ.

Mr. Dziekanski holds up an electric equipment and attempts to throw it.

Voices off camera: No no no.

Mr. Dziekanski puts down the equipment rather than throwing it.

Two airport security officer come to the entrance doors and Mr. Dziekanski comes to the doors to meet them.

Voice off camera: He speaks Russian and nobody can help him...You need a Russian interpreter here to calm him down. Cathay's coming down in five minutes.

Voice off camera: ...Russian interpreter.

Voice off camera: ...Can you call Customs and tell them to stop it....

Voice off camera: He is so scared...just leave him.

Voice off camera: Why are the police not here? We called security, we called the police.

Voice off camera: Calm down, calm down please.

Camera turns to police.

Dziekanski: Mr. Dziekanski screams. Police! Police!

Police speaks to him and points. They motion him to inside and they point to a spot on the ground and they encircle him.

Dziekanski: What are you doing? An RCMP officer points at him. There's nothing here .

An RCMP officer shoots him with a Taser.

RCMP officer: Get down, get down!

Dziekanski: (Screams as he falls to the ground)

Police fire two more Taser blasts.

RCMP officer: Get a Taser.

RCMP officer: Put your hands up.

RCMP officer: Get him down, get him down!

Dziekanski continues to struggle, scream

Security guard: Operations…(unintelligible)

Dziekanski: Oh, no! It's pinching.

Four RCMP officers pin Mr. Dziekanski as they restrain him.

Dziekanski: Bandit!

Pritchard: Jesus.

RCMP officer: Get his knees, right…

Pritchard: How is he still fighting them off?

Off-camera: Noboby knows why. He speaks Russian. Nobody knows why. No rhyme or reason.

Pritchard: Prime footage for my home videos.

Pritchard: He's unconscious…I heard him say Code Red.

Pritchard: I've only got three minutes of footage, three minutes of memory, three minutes of memory left.