Really?! Awww. Bummer.

Very nice of them to even consider sharing some winnings with nearby degenerates players.

D'awww...

Heroic? So, some river boarder sees a squirrel on a rock and thinks: "awww, how cute. I'm going to go over there and see if he needs help, because clearly he couldn't have gotten there on his own by swimming. Hey little buddy, you want a ride on my extremely non-natural looking piece of flotation device, something which doesn't exist in your environment."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH. Terrifying man-thing. It's going to eat me. I just came out to this rock to wait while I gathered up my energy to swim the rest of the way across the river and some monster slithered down the river and emerged, all yellow and black and hairy looking. Leave me alone, vile beast! Curse you!"

"You look scared little squirrel, are you afraid of the water? Here, get on my board. Come on. I'll move a little closer to you to make sure you get on. Stop backing away."

"OH NO! He is moving in for the kill, quick, where can I run! Ha, the silly monster can't swim up river, I shall go there! I shall jump to that rock with the fast moving water on it and show this evil monster how squirrels swim. That will show him not to mess with my kind!"

*JUMP*

"Glub Glub. Blargh, this is turning out to be much harder than I thought. Ahhhh, glub glub."

"Oh no, the little guy jumped in the river again. I'll just swim over and save him from his ultimate demise. Silly guy, why did he do that? I was offering him a ride, why didn't he understand that was what I was doing?"

"Glub glub; AAAAAHH, it's coming closer. I am doomed. Farewell cruel world, I knew thee not long but I loved thee so well."

"Gotcha. Here, take a ride on my board. That's better, isn't it little guy? Here, I'll bring you to shore."

"Wah! You have trapped me! Are you going to take me back to your friends to feast on me together? Wait. What is this thing? What magics be this? How does this trap float so well. It must be made of some sort of advanced tree structure that only the giants know how to grow. I am tempted to jump back in the river but I am certain you will catch me again and my energy will have been wasted. No, I will play the possum and wait for my moment. Yes, just when you think you have got me, I shall spring away to safety. Silly giants, they do not know anything. You are bringing me closer to shore, yes. Closer. Closer. *Jump* Hahahahhahaha. Silly giant, now I am up a tree, you will never catch me. Of course, you could have avoided all of this by leaving me alone! Next time, don't waste both of our time and energy by trying to catch a squirrel, we are too smart for you giant monsters!"

"There you go little buddy, now you are safe. Shouldn't have jumped in the river like that, though. Next time you see a human, expect them to be trying to help you, man. Now I will go and cover myself in patchouli oil and smoke some weed."

Moral of the story: Leave wild animals the fuck alone.

Awww, looks just like my cat Oreo. I miss my cats.
http://i.imgur.com/baO9J8H.png?1

awww it's *dead.

I wanted to see this

We've been on a bunch of dates
I weigh debates that this creates
And hate that state of forced introspection
We traded wit, we swapped some spit,
You fingered me a little bit
But we never really had a connection

You did nothing wrong, I have no excuse
Just my intuition telling me we shouldn't reproduce

I know I have to end it
But pretend to just suspend it
By contending that I'm busy all week
I let the foregone linger on
Text back with an emoticon
Withdraw from you by being oblique

Inside I know my tactics just delay it
But I'd do anything so I don't have to say it

I'll draw this out forever like it's Vietnam
Then one day I'll be gone like Bambi's mom Awww

Cause there's the right thing to do
Then there's what I'm gonna do
There's so much I should say
But instead... I do the fade away

Now I'm fading like chalk on a sidewalk
Or the polio virus after Jonas Salk
Like a Jewish guy at Sizzler on Yom Kippur
The Whig party post Millard Fillmore

The erection of a man on antidepressants
The cast of Diff'rent Strokes after adolescence
Reproductive rights below the Mason Dixon
Native Americans after the barter systems
Your thyroid gland after Hashimoto
The family in the Back to the Future photo
Yeah I fade away

We say that men are asshole who don't communicate
We revel in our victimhood and amplify our hate
We find ways to be indignant like it's a sport
Then dissect their malignance with the views we distort

The way men break up may be sloppy and terse
What they do is bad, but what we do is worse

We pretend to ourselves it's the nice thing to do
To let you down gently by just not ever telling you
And deep down we know it's the worst way to play it
But we are what we have... huge pussies

And women are hypocrites
Especially ones in comedy bands
We see your faults but not our own
Then we wonder why we're all alone

We fill you up with maybe's, excuses and stalls
But like a baby in China... it's better to have balls

Not the Good Wife type like Christine Baranski
So I'll pull out and leave like I'm Roman Polanski

Cause there's the right thing to do
Then there's what I'm gonna do
There's so much I should say
But instead... I do the fade away

Like Verbal Kint fading into Kaiser Soze
The rights in Arizona for a guy named Jose
Opportunities for a college grad
The love between your mom and dad
Gonna Peter out like a gay Cetera
Iranian relations since the Regan era
Black Nike sales after Heaven's Gate
Summer Camp attendance at Penn State
The name Adolph after World War Two
Like Debbie Gibson's pop career, Out of the Blue
Yeah I fade away

Cause I don't wanna get to know you
I just want to blow you... off

Awww VooDookies....See? What'd I tell y'all....Cue shitheal


Have some more Cheetos, oh ye internet cock bags.

Awww, she just wants to play. Throw a stick or something already...

awww man, you gotta sift that

d'awww....

Awww hells yeah! Love this song! So dated and horrible!

Awww man, if they were going into the back catalog for a series, why not Lebowski, I'd be psyched for that!

Awww, what happened to the Count's voice? I loved the old one as seen in this sift.

Awww, they forgot he maked a white Russian at Maude's place !!